Tuesday, March 20, 2012


...back at work, this note from my director happened:

It cracked me up!

I'm healing, though my roadrash hand is still roadrashy and deeply bruised. I'm taking a ridiculous amount of antibiotics and resting the hand as much as possible, but I have a tournament to skate in this weekend, so I gotta get my shit together!

Still haven't heard anything about the bike yet. It may take awhile for someone from the insurance company out to assess the bike's condition. Argh!

Other than that, everything's good. Still happy to be alive. And everyone has until March 25 to hug me without negative repercussions. Exceptions to this rule include my parents and anyone who is not on the same continent as me on a regular basis. You have been warned!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Rider Up

After fourteen years of motorcycle riding, I joined the ranks of those riders who have had an accident. luckily I not only lived, I walked away from the wreck.


How did it happen?

I was on my way home from taking notes at a Fight Crew scrimmage. I was going at a fairly leisurely pace in the #2 lane. I was 3/4 of the way home when I saw a car go sideways in my lane, brakes squealing. The three cars immediately behind it slammed on their brakes, swerved, and otherwise blocked my forward escape route. My choices at that point were to either hit the wreck or hit the brakes. I chose the latter.

That's when shit got RILL.

Ever go sliding across the freeway at approximately 60mph? It's fucking weird. I saw the bike sending sparks behind it as it slid on its left side. DAMMIT I JUST PUT GAS IN IT!!!!!!! I thought, as I slid along the ground next to the bike on my forearms and knees. This is where derby probably literally saved my life, because I've done a lot of conditioning and sooooooooooo many falls over the years that getting and maintaining a 4-point fall while sliding down the freeway seemed almost second nature.

I came to a stop just before reaching the wreck in front of me, but that's when I heard squealing brakes and loud thuds behind me. Shit. More cars got involved in the chain reaction of terror trying to avoid turning me into roadkill.  I jumped up a la derby's, I'M OK! I'M OK! rule where the jam gets called off for medical reasons if a skater is lying on the track for too long. I was able to get up. I was able to walk. I was able to look around incredulously at the damage around me and say that I'M THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AT THAT MOMENT. And then I almost hyperventilated myself into puking, crying or fainting or all of the above.

A list of other things to note:

  • Always carry your insurance card with you. 
  • Good gear with Kevlar is important. And durable. Really, REALLY durable.
  • Never say you're alright after sliding on dirty asphalt. Keep asking if 911 has been called, and then call them yourself just to make sure. 
  • Calling one's spouse to say one wrecked their motorcycle on the freeway is almost a dirty trick. Spouse feels helpless and is freaking out. Expect to repeat your physical condition and approximate location several times. Also expect to calm them down instead of them calming you down.
  • Take photos immediately. Posting on Facebook naturally follows.
  • People actually do care when provoked. They really do.
  • The EMTs and CHP officers were efficient and nice. I've never said Thank You! and meant  it so much in my life! AND I got to sit in the FRONT seat of a cop car!
  • It doesn't matter how many lanes are blocked, how much carnage there is, there are some drivers who don't understand that when lanes are blocked due to an accident, it's not going to be all about them.
  • The SigAlert site said, 3 CARS VS MOTORCYCLE. RIDER IS UP. Makes me sound tougher than I am!
  • Married...With Children is still hilarious after all these years.
  • Don't think you're going to be home before 4:30am from the emergency room. 
  • Don't think you're going to go to work the next day.
  • If road rash keeps hurting, go back to the doctor and get an antibiotic shot. The freeway is a dirty dirty place.
  • Is it wrong to think about a new bike when the old one hasn't been officially junked?
  • Don't EVER post about having an accident on Facebook without calling your parent/s or other loved ones first. I apparently took years off my mom's life when she changed her morning routine and read Facebook before I could call her to tell her I was OK. 
 But the thing that's getting me the most is the amount of calls, texts, and emails from my friends. It's been overwhelming, and it's good to know that people care. I'm thankful and grateful and humbled by the well-wishes. Pardon me, but...I think I got something in my eye. Dust. Yeah, that's it. Dust in my eye.


Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Levitation, holmes

A fun photo from last Saturday's LA vs. Gotham game, courtesy of photographer Sir Clicks-a-Lot:

There's a story behind this photo, but for now I shall truncate it to a tale about pizza distribution, a certain attitude about pizza distribution while looking for beer from those who didn't get pizza, assorted tableflipping by people in response to attitudes, and the realization that asking Tara Armov to flip a table will only result in a broken table and dead silence.

OR I could say that this was my reaction when I heard that people thought I went easy on the latest crop of Fresh Meat skaters on their first FM practice the day after the LA/Gotham game.  Which I call total shenanigans on since I came out of that practice with a chin that was knocked on the floor during a demonstration and a pulled muscle in my back...though that last one could've happened during wRECk League where I was thrown onto my back during scrimmage.

ANYWAY, hilarious photo about a levitating table, yes?

Friday, March 02, 2012

well HELLO there!

Quick notes:

  • Derby retirement is awesome. Retirement is putting the fun back in skating. I LIKE FUN. FUN IS FUN.

  • Starting P90x upon retirement was a very smart idea. Not only am I not gaining 50 pounds (nor am I losing a lot of weight, but whatever), but I have something resembling muscles now. It's kinda cool!

  • Work is going well. Because I don't have to rush off to the track multiple times a week during the work week, I'm actually able to concentrate on my job. Which I'm sure my bosses appreciate. I know my portfolio will.

  • Despite team skating retirement, the next two months are stupidly busy. I'm announcing for the LA Derby Dolls webcast for every game, including March RADness. I'll be spending a weekend in Phoenix to train one of the teams from the Arizona Derby Dames. I'm supposed to skate with Team Cruz at the Dust Bowl Invitational in Bakersfield. I'll be announcing with Dumptruck for the next Pro Roller Derby/Kitten Traxx Invitational in Arizona. And then there's that whole announcing and skating at Battle For The Coast in April. 

  • I'm obviously unclear on the concept of actual retirement.

  • Hey look! A flier I designed that doesn't suck too bad!

We have a new website for the banked leagues out there: Banked Track News. I have to start writing some ranting-type of stuff there soon. It's hard to be enthused to sit at a computer in one's leisure time when one sits at a computer for their day job. But buh-leeve me, I have topics to rant about!

OK, I have to go and print out rosters for the LA/Gotham game tomorrow. As well as coming up with a suitably torturous lesson plan for the incoming Fresh Meat on Sunday. And I gotta find time to sort through receipts to get our taxes done.

Such a quiet life!