Actually, I feel like I've been beaten with a sackful of oranges and left for dead as payment for the money I embezzled off the local Mafioso at the racetrack.
And that's an improvement from Tuesday.
Yesterday I went to the doctor. He thinks I just have a regular cold and not a bronchial infection. But he prescribed me some Z-pac and what I'm calling a Bottle o' Elephant Gun, aka cough syrup with codeine. That stuff will knock you the F*** OUT, as Ice Cube would say. I slept like the dead alllll day after administering a couple of doses when I got home from the doctor's. And when I say "allll day", I mean ALLLLLLLLL DAY.
The first dose was in the early afternoon. As soon as I started to drift off, the neighbor's yip-yap dog from Hell started barking at whatever wildlife is outside(the damn dog never barks at people who are, say, trying to break into the neighbor's house. It only barks at other animals. THAT'S NOT VERY USEFUL. And it's extra annoying because it barks right outside our bedroom window. I might have to start another blog about it!), so I writhed around, and stomped to the den where I displaced the diabetic cat and snoozed away on the futon.
Five hours later I woke up and zoned out for the next five hours. Then I took another dose and slept through the night with no incident.
If that's what hibernating is like, I want in!
I don't think I'll be skating tonight at the last practice before the game. Hell, I'm just hoping to be sentient enough to try to start catching up on the freelance crap. Yikes.
Fight Crew is down its top three players for this game: Broadzilla, Tawdry Tempest and Kubonator. Broadzilla's going to be out of town, and Tawdry and Kubo are injured. So I HAVE to get better by Saturday.
Good times!
NO PRESSURE!
But to end on a good note(at least for the ladies...you boys will want to skip this)...
Check this out...a former Derby Doll skater who went by the name Kid Vicious stumbled upon my Classic Hardware goods on her own accord and wrote a blog piece about it! Isn't that cool! The rest of her blog is pretty damned interesting, too. She's a writer by trade and is getting quite popular. She even used one of my painted toilet seats in one of her short films! So now you can say you knew her Back When...
I'm going to be eligible for the Worst Timing award, if there were such a thing.
Guess who's getting some sort of bronchial mess from Hell...AGAIN?!?!?!?
I'm so freakin' PISSED and sick right now it's making my head hurt.
It started coming on yesterday, but I was able to skate at the rehearsal scrimmage.
I sucked, but I skated it with no injury.
However, today I had to resort to cough medicine that's making me zone out and fall asleep for two hours at a stretch. When I'm awake, I just sit and zone out. My head hurts, my ears hurt, and I can't breathe worth a damn.
Not good for the derbys, REALLY not good for the freelance.
Hopefully if I hole up at home and get some major sleep, I'll be skateable for Saturday.
I hope I hope I HOPE!!!!!!!
That pretty new bicycle can't help me get out of this crap, can it?
Sometimes it pays off to be a whiner, even on the internet.
I haven't been in the best of moods due to lack of work, getting into trouble because of my big mouth(or fast typing fingers, as the case may be), going off of morning energy drinks, and the cats being jerks about their food.
But I was taking a "fukkit" attitude towards life: I always get into trouble, so I just gotta let it roll off my back. The caffeine withdrawals are subsiding dramatically, and I just picked up some freelance that'll kick my butt time-wise and doesn't pay worth a Ca-RAP, but it'll keep my chops up storyboard-wise. More on that later.
So...
Yesterday I woke up disgustingly early(thanks, Neighbors with the Loud Pet Menagerie from Hell!) after going to bed disgustingly late because I had a cup of coffee after dinner the night before. For some wacky reason I thought that I hadn't detoxed enough from my morning routine so that the coffee wouldn't have any effect on my sleep habits. I WAS WRONG.
I groggily went to derby practice, leaving the Dear Husband to his own devices.
His own devious devices, it turns out.
Practice goes OK(well, other than the fact that I skate like sh!t when I'm horribly sleep-deprived) and I come home to bathe and zone in front of the tv. Which I do to great effect, I must say.
The DH comes up behind me as I'm zoning away, and asks what my plans are for the rest of the day.
You're lookin' at 'em! I mumble.
OK he says, and wanders off.
Zoning continues unabated.
The DH comes back and says, Come here, I gotta show you something.
What is it? I spacily ask.
JUST COME HERE he sternly says.
Oh, FINE.
So I grumpily wander out of my lair and find this:
A NEW BICYCLE!
The Raleigh Retro-7 bicycle that I was drooling over last weekend!
HOLY CRAP!!
Why did you buy this?!?!? I didn't buy it because I couldn't afford it!! I say.
Because you wanted it, and I'm employed with money in the bank, and you had a sh!tty week! the DH replies.
OMG.
I'm floored.
And this is the backstory I got:
The DH had gone out on his new bicycle while I was at practice. On a lark, he went to the bike place that had the Raleigh to see if it was still there. It was, so he bought it! They couldn't deliver it until the end of the day, so the DH came up with a Devious Plan to get the bike home.
As soon as I had stepped into the shower to wash off the post-practice derby goo, the DH literally springs into action by rushing to the back room to grab the bike rack, attach it to my car, and drive to the bike place to pick up the Raleigh.
He picks it up, packs it on the car, drives back, parks down the street, and stealthily creeps up the driveway with the new bike and parks it in the living room.
He did all this while I was home showering and whatnot.
AND I DIDN'T NOTICE!
D'oh!!
Don't I look overjoyed trying out the new bike?
It's definitely different from my other bike, and it's rilly kewl-lookin'!
I spent the rest of the day finding kewl accessories for the bike, so now it looks like this:
I took off the dorky reflectors on the front and back, and replaced them with actual lights for nighttime riding.
I added the white metal basket and a HUGE bell:
The bell sounds like a doorbell; it's great!
I want to find a more retro-looking light for the bike...the one that I bought is too modern looking.
I took the bike for a test spin along the Venice boardwalk late in the day yesterday. It was glorious! Handles well, shifts great, and is comfy. Used the bell a lot along the bikepath...despite the tourist season being over, there will still a lot of idiots out and about.
So I'm a happier person today...and I think even the DH is happy, too!
Day 3 of No Morning Energy Drink/Caffeine/Whathaveyou:
I think I'm going to live.
Still headachey, the moodswings are still in full effect, but the fog is beginning to lift just a leettle bit.
Strange side effect: my strength is piss-poor for my morning arms/ab routine. Hmmmmm. Hope that changes and pronto! Tonight I'll find out how I do at derby practice.
Another side effect: I'm hungry.
ALL THE TIME.
EVEN MORE THAN USUAL. Yeah, I didn't think that was possible, either.
I hope to have some sort of "normalcy" by the game next week.
Here's my contribution for the SNIFF shirt this year:
Don't know about the color scheme, but that's easily changed.
The past few days I've been endlessly listening to some mash-ups by Party Ben. It's really cool to download an hour of music to just groove to. I discovered him through one of our skaters, Gal VanIZed. She discovered roller derby thru the Dear Husband's brother-in-law, who apparently talked up this alleged mere hobby pretty good. She's a damned interesting person, who includes hypnosis on her resume of Cool Stuff She Does. Her husband is now one of the league's Official Photographers and has a league fan site. Ain't that neat!
Now I must fight off the urge to nap. I won't let the lack of caffeine win.
The Dear Husband got a new bicycle over the weekend.
The Saga of getting said bicycle should've been oodles easier than it was. As in, just go to the store where we got our last bikes and see if they have another one like the one that was stolen.
Nah. That wasn't the plan.
We went to a couple other bike stores that are closer to our house. The selection of the "comfort bikes" similar to what we have were pathetic, if they existed at all.
Argh. The DH was getting frustrated, and I wasn't too happy either.
Until I found another bike that I wanted so bad...
It's a Raleigh Retro-7...a retro-styled cruiser bike with gears. And fenders(my current bikes don't have fenders...annoying when it's drizzling or when I go through puddles)! The one I saw was white with a darker blue than the photo...it called my name, oh yes it did.
However, one look at the price tag made my dreams of riding this beautiful monster to the grocery store or the beach dissolve into nothing. DAMN me for not having a job right now!
So when the DH was unsuccessful in his bike search, I had to tear myself away from the Raleigh and we eventually went to the store where we bought our last bikes.
Which is where we should've gone to begin with.
We walk in the door. The place is bustling with activity around us, oblivious to our existence. I take the lead and stride aisle by aisle past the mountain bikes, the racing bikes, and the hellishly expensive cruiser bikes.
I turn down the last aisle, where there was a very small selection of comfort bikes. I scan the row of bikes, and there I see It.
The DH's New Bike.
Same size, same brand. BUT, in all black.
IT WAS MEANT TO BE HIS.
I think the DH had to ponder the purchase for about 45 seconds before deciding that this was fate smiling down upon him, so he bought that thing right away.
While the bike was getting checked out by the mechanics at the store, the husband bought a couple of accessories for the new bike(all the rad lights, fold-up baskets, etc. that he had on the old bike were stolen with the bike and he had to reorder most of the stuff over the internet)as well as a fatter lock for the damned thing.
He happily rode it home, and won't take it back to Santa Monica anytime soon.
Hopefully he'll keep this one mucho longer than the last one.
Sunday morning I drank almost two huge cans of Rockstar energy drink with no effect on my awakeness level.
What added insult to injury was that during brunch I had one cup of coffee and I felt wired for sound on the way home.
I decided Sunday night that I need to take a break from having an energy drink every morning, and so I started this little "detox" yesterday of cold turkey stopping with the energy drinks or coffee in the morning.
I'm in freakin' AGONY.
I have a constant headache, my brain feels like it's in a thick fog, and I'm really, REALLY cranky.
Isn't it said that the first three days of cutting out caffeine, nicotine, etc. are the worst? If so, then tomorrow will be the last painful day on the agenda. For everyone's sake, I hope that's the case.
To add to the fun...
I'm having a battle of wits with the cats.
And they're winning.
Dammit.
I think because of the humidity, they're not as enthusiastic about their food as they used to be. I can kinda understand...canned cat food smells gross when it's left out in humid conditions after a couple of hours.
However, the diabetic jerkface cat needs to eat or else his diabetes isn't well-regulated. It's made life frustrating for the both of us, unfortunately.
Anyone want a couple of used cats? They're kinda cute! I'll ship 'em anywhere...airholes optional!
My mood is mildly improved from Thursday, but not by much.
Here's a stoopid painting I did a few months ago that was part of a group show:
Trust me when I say that it looks a million times better in person. But the damn thing didn't sell anyway. I haven't figured out what to do with it now.
This past week my parents celebrated their wedding anniversary. They've been married since 1962. HOLY CRAP!!
That's quite an accomplishment in this day and age, don't you think? The Dear Husband's parents are still married to each other, too. I have to say that because these days it's not safe to assume such things about one's parents. It's kinda sad that marriage has taken the nose-dive that it has. I actually believe that it's still viable and worthwhile...especially if kids are involved.
Of course that's not why I got married. We did it for the health insurance. Hey, it worked for us!
So tomorrow the Dear Husband, my Seestir and myself are driving to San Diego to pick up the parents from the airport to have a nice brunch in Coronado in celebration of their anniversary. That should be fun!
But for today, we're going bicycle shopping. The DH isn't looking forward to it, as he really liked the bike that was stolen. However, he's stoically going to try to find a Good Replacement for the Dearly Departed Bike. I'm kinda looking forward to all this myself, as it beats sitting around the house watching infomercials all day.
Woohoo!
And be sure to check in with Redneck Theater when you get the chance. We're going to be in hell in about ten years, based on the latest entry.
Got my exercise on, had some tasty pasta from Whole Paycheck before going to the track to lead a kick@$$ Tarametrics session at practice, and got home late to have a delicious salad with some pinot noir.
Dinner was interrupted by a frantic call from the Dear Husband. He was out in Santa Monica with his social group, the Drunk Scouts. His bicycle got stolen from the bar where the Drunk Scouts usually congregate. Dammit.
Luckily I hadn't had much of the pinot, so I grabbed my purse and ran out the door, still in my stinky track clothes, to pick up the DH.
On the way, I rolled through a 3-way intersection that has a new stop sign. Guess who got pulled over for running the stop sign?
I thought about explaining the picking-up-the-DH situation, but I figured that being quiet and polite would work better so that I could just get the hell outta there. The cops take my license, go back to their squad car, and I sit.
And sit.
And sit.
Then they come back, one on each side of my car, flipping their flashlights around the interior of said car, and ask me if,
a)this is my car, and
b)am I carrying a gun?
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I just about jumped out of my skin, and images of being arrested, hauled off to jail with accompanying body cavity searches raced through my brain.
The cops then explained that a record of me having some sort of involvement with the county sheriff's department came up on my license. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! BIG sigh of relief as I explained that my parents work for the sheriff's office.
Luckily that satisfied the cops, and they retreated. I sit some more, and surreptitiously text the DH about my situation. SH!T! he texts back.
Indeed.
The rest of the traffic stop goes by with no further, uh, interesting aspects, and I'm soon on my way. I find the DH, pick him up, and we're on our way home.
He's obviously p!ssed about his stolen bike, but he angrily asked me if I told the cops about the situation to try to get out of the ticket. Since I was driving at the time, I couldn't give him the Glare of Death, but I assured him that had I thought it would've worked, I would've tried it. He wisely picks up on the tone of my voice and drops the subject.
So now we're out a bicycle and probably a Good Driver Discount. I haven't had a ticket of any sort for a few years, so I should be good to go for Traffic School and a hefty fine. Go, me!
Cans I hibernate now?
Oh, here's a flier for a uniform fundraiser my team is having on Sunday, Sept. 14. Go, will you?
Funny thing is, most people won't deal directly with trouble. They just let it...happen. Then they whine about it later.
If I were more socially evil, I'd be able to mess with the world ten BAJILLION times worse than I do already.
You.
Have.
NO.
Idea.
*ahem*...
This past weekend TCM featured Laurel and Hardy all day Saturday.
I didn't grow up watching Laurel and Hardy. I'd heard of them, seen photos of them, saw them caricatured in cartoons, but never sat down and had the chance to watch their work. The local independent tv station(remember those?)always had plenty o' Three Stooges early on the weekends, but Laurel and Hardy was not to be seen.
Holy FAWK was I missing out!
They were BRILLIANT at jokes...especially physical ones. The verbal one-offs weren't shabby by any means either, but their comic timing was unreal. And stolen to great effect by Warner Bros. cartoonists Back in the Day. Now I know where Clampett, Avery, et al got it from!
Today's writers and animators need to rediscover their stuff. Like, NOWWWWWWW.
While watching Way Out West, I was amused by a quick shot of a flock of geese in the middle of a chaotic scene. I now vow to try to include a flock of geese in multiple future projects.
Another photo from Rollercon...someone whom I tagged leaned up against the wall and left their mark...or is it my mark?
Two fun examples of People Watching:
Sunday I rode my bicycle to the track for tryouts.
On the way I passed a young man in his very late teens/very early twenties who happened to be a Hasidic Jew. He had the beaver hat, ringlets, and dark clothes. He also happened to have a cigarette dangling from his upper lip and was texting on a cell phone. The juxtapositioning was JENIUS. I wish I'd taken a photo.
Today I skated to the beach.
On the way I saw a guy who appeared homeless but was on a bicycle. He had straggly hair, cargo shorts, dark grey t-shirt, minimal teeth, and to top it all off...the most awesome tricorn hat EVARRRRRR. He looked like a pirate. Well, he actually looked like a bum who stole the hat from an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean, but I won't split hairs.
It's nice to still see interesting people out in the world...in LA it's so easy to concentrate on all the bland, boring-looking people. I guess they just make the standouts stand out oh so much more!
I feel that I've messed up my psyche, my groove, my ability to move forward and get sh!t done.
There's the job situation, which has thrown me for quite a loop. There isn't a whole lot going on out in the industry right now, so I'm in a tight spot. I was apparently counting on that September job toooooo much. Dammit!
So I should be working on my own stuff, right? RIGHT.
Except that I'm feeling creatively bankrupt.
What the hell am I gonna work on?
More stoopid toilet seats? I haven't even wanted to paint one for almost two years now.
Pin-up stuff? I guess I should do that, but damn, how many talented pin-up artists are out there that I'm going to go up against? To say it's an overcrowded niche is putting it mildly.
A pitch for a tv series? Um, I have no agent, and therefore no "in" at the studios. And hey, what venues do I even have available? Cartoon Network is going live-action for boys. Warners sold their Saturday morning programming out and isn't doing any in-house stuff anymore. Sony is only doing Spider Man. Nickelodeon? Not likely, based on my track record of even trying to work there. Disney? I'm so NOT Disney, it's obscene.
Roller derby art? I've been thinking on that. T-shirts with my drawings don't really sell well. The shirts that sell the most are just simple slogan-y type of stuff. Again, a market that's becoming well covered. Art prints? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. Um, no.
I gotta think of something to do.
*sigh*
Oh, and I'm now not a fan of the roller derbymovie currently in production. Why?
Because they aren't using any of the posters, stickers, etc. that I sent them as background stuff in the film.
I can take not being used as a skater in the film due to my oh-so-advanced age.
I can take not being used as a trainer in the film due to my harsh Full Metal Jacket Gunnery Sergeant Hartman-esque training techniques.
I can NOT take not having my artwork in the film. I don't know why those jerkfaces aren't using my stuff, but it's not because my stuff sucks so much more @$$ than other league's posters, stickers, etc. I'm assuming there's some sort of politics behind it, but I don't know what those politics are. DAMMIT.
That means there's little to no LA Derby Dolls representation on that front in the film. DAMMIT.
As a skater for the LA Derby Dolls I'm still going to be supportive of the film. But as an individual and an artist I say,
That filmcan SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhhhh, that felt great to type.
The below photo is posted because even though I look like a total jack@$$, looking at said photo makes me happy. Ah, Rollercon!
FINALLY saw The Dark Knight today. I agree with most reviews: great movie, but went on too damn long. Tried to squash in two and a half movie plots into one film. Still, I enjoyed it highly. Makes me mad that Heath Ledger couldn't handle his drug use 'cos he was damn good. Sad.
I think I'm done whining for the moment. But I do hope my situation improves sooner than later. I hate being such a drain.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Oh looky, hiatus is over:
I'm cracking up over the ridiculous photo that's in the beginning of this little promo.
Not only am I wearing an Angel City Derby Girls shirt, but that has got to be the most absurd expression I have on my face! The photo was taken while I was leading a Fresh Meat practice, and I hope I was wiping my sweaty hair out of my face...it certainly couldn't be because I was demonstrating how to be saucy and sexy at the same time.
I have no decent artwork to show for today, so here's some stoopid photos:
From Rollercon...me, Stiv Skator, Vulvarine, and Demolicious carrying on in the Mai Tai bar at the Imperial Palace:
Me tagging Bong Jovi:
Yes, I'm wearing a dress. Shut up.
Me and Adorable Raf at Comic Con, looking badass at the Hyatt:
It's not easy looking badass when there's a big guy in plaid behind you.
This past weekend my CalArts pals Troy and April got married. I did a kamikaze run up to San Luis Obispo and back in one day to attend the ceremony, meet their rad daughter, and dress like a total dork:
The Superhero pose:
They are definitely a couple of the raddest people I know. And they're uber-talented. If they weren't my friends I'd hate 'em for that!
I also found out that the job I was supposed to go onto next month won't be happening for me.
DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
This throws my life into slight chaos with a touch of panic. I needs to start pounding the pavement...and go find a job, too.
Another episode of Redneck Theater is up. Not too scary, just amusing.
This past weekend I was in a frenzied getting-rid-of-clothing-that-I-don't-wear-anymore spree. I filled five 55-gallon trashbags full o' clothes that I haven't worn in eons...in some cases, since high school. Literally.
Luckily there are bins all over the city for "PlanetAid.org" where one can dump their unwanted clothing day or night, so I took full advantage of one that was only five minutes from the house. I filled that sucker up, and I still have a bag o' clothes to dump in sometime this week. Some poor soul in some horrible third-world country is going to have a nifty selection of HUGE Harley-Davidson shirts to be poor in.
Trying to get the Dear Husband to follow suit and whittle down his shirt collection has been mostly ineffective. He loves his shirts, oh yes he does. Even when he doesn't wear them for years. I cycle through them! he tells me. Bullsh!t!!
I'll find a way, however.
Here's some miscellaneous drawings:
I don't know what I was doing this for:
But it's kinda cute. I doubt I'll do anything with it, however.
Here's a drawing I did several years ago. I think I was going to try to use it on a derby poster. She has the same face as the girl I did for the Bakersfield Rollergirls logo:
I kinda like this one, especially since it's a mild downshot on her. Maybe I'll resurrect my attempts to do something with it.
Yep, that same silly drawing that I did last year is still on stickers and even on t-shirts! Score for them, since I got paid a flat rate for the damn thing. It looks like they never had anyone take the drawing into Illustrator to vectorize it. Funny.
Rollercon was fun, even though the on-skates stuff was ridiculously crowded. I didn't get to skate much, and teaching my one class was a nightmare. Over 100 students, easily. Except I can't teach that many people at one time. Ah well. I should've taught Tarametrics. I think I'll do that next year.
This was another year of buttons. I got tons of them. I didn't hand out all of the ones I brought. Lame.
Of course I had the Sharpies out in full force. I don't know if I made it close to last year's record, as we ended taking a night off to sleep for ten hours straight. Apparently we were tired.
The thing I noticed with both Comic Con and Rollercon was that I wasn't into partying late into the night. Am I getting old, or did the mid-day drinking kinda kill my party vibe? A combination of both, perhaps?
Anyway, I'll post more pix later when I sort through them.
Below is a rough of a quick birthday card I did last week. Of course I didn't scan the final result, but as usual, I think I like the rough better anyway. I used some kind of rad pen that I keep, uh, borrowing copious amounts of from one of the workplaces I prowl:
I still have two birthday cards and two wedding cards to do this month. Fargh!!
I'm still tired. And now am kinda sick. Laying low is the main plan this week.
Next week the Dear Husband is riding the murdersickle up to Seattle. Lucky bastard! I'm staying home and being the Crazy Cat Lady most of the time. Except for the wedding I get to go to in San Luis Obispo. That should be fun!
Comic Con was an experience. I remember why I haven't been in eleven years. The crowds are ridiculous. It doesn't help that I hate crowds.
It started ominously on Thursday with the Drive to Hell.
There was a HUGE accident on the I-5 near Camp Pendleton at 5am where the entire southbound freeway was shut down. They didn't reopen any lanes until 11am, and didn't get the rest of the lanes cleared until after 3pm. We didn't leave LA until 12:30pm, so we thought by the time we'd get to the affected area, everything would be back to running normally.
WRONG.
Traffic was backed up over 20 miles.
Ugh.
So we stopped at one point at a Dennys in the depths of Orange County after sitting in said hellish traffic for at least an hour and a half, and ate for about another hour, and that gave us enough of a break to get back into the slow-moving traffic mess that was the rest of the commute to San Diego.
Frustrating.
Then we get to the hotel, unpack our stuff, and take our bicycles to the convention center to hurriedly get our convention badges before registration shutters up for the rest of the day.
I now know that Comic Con is like Vegas to me: I need a reason to go.
I don't go to Vegas unless it's for Rollercon or a wedding. I won't go to Comic Con again unless I continue to be associated with a booth or manage to pimp something while there. To be in either place just existing would make me absolutely miserable.
So, being with the GirlsDrawinGirls booth made my Comic Con visit manageable and even fun. Especially since I brought Malibu rum in a Scooby Doo water bottle and the GDG founders had a drinking game to gulp down said rum all afternoon with the other GDG artists in attendance.
The game was called the Comic Con Mile and it resembled a scavenger hunt. The idea was when we got off our booth shift, we were to start at one end of the convention center and start meandering to the other end, taking a shot of rum from the water bottle every time we spotted something from the list.
The list included:
Fat Batman(any era)
Heath Ledger Joker(either gender)
Fat Princess Leia
V for Vendetta Mask
any Sailor Moon/Sailor Scout character
a couple dressed as Steampunks
Darth Vader or stormtroopers with their helmets off
anyone partaking in a hot dog and cup of coffee(the Official Convention Center meal)
walking through a fart cloud
a group of at least four attractive people who weren't working the con
a farting fat female stormtrooper eating a hot dog and carrying a cup of coffee
I know there's a couple I'm missing, but that's the jist of it. With this list, we would've had to be carried out on stretchers due to alcohol poisoning.
We made it through the first half of our four-hour booth shift on Friday before we couldn't take it anymore and decided to start the Comic Con Mile at the booth while people slowly shuffled by. We quickly found out that the V for Vendetta masks are entirely too popular. We also learned that it's a good thing we didn't have fairy wings on our list, as they were as plentiful as the damn V for Vendetta masks.
Needless to say, by the end of my shift on Friday, I was toasted.
That was the highlight of my day, as we had the worst service EVAR at a local restaurant that evening, and it threw me into such a foul mood, we had to ride our bikes back to our hotel room to decompress for the rest of the evening.
Then there was Saturday.
The day I was to be Booth Babe for the GDG.
For the occasion, I decided to take last year's Halloween costume. You know, the Austin Powers Fembot costume.
Holy hell, that turned out to be an interesting decision.
Now, I know that Comic Con is full of nerds, some of whom don't see attractive women in the flesh on a day-to-day basis. But I got swamped by nerds as soon as I stepped out in the fembot outfit. I imagine that there are literally hundreds of photos of me in my goofy outfit out there in nerdland.
The weird part?
I'm NOT an attractive woman!
But in the alternative universe that is Comic Con, just put on a wig, throw on some high heels, glue some sparkly false eyelashes on and POW! Instant Nerd Magnet!
I have to admit, it was a helluva ego boost. Until my feet started hurting in the damn shoes.
I spent four hours luring in the masses to the GDG booth. People bought stuff. I got my photo taken a bunch o' times and got minorly groped a couple of times in the process. Ummm, EWWW.
Some of the coworkers came by during my shift. Two were very nice, and the third laaaaaughed at me, not with me. Ah well. A couple of guys dressed as Scooby and Shaggy happened to wander by and we all got our photo taken with them. That should be a great source of extortion in the future.
I think I may have sold all ten of the Puss N' Boots magnets that I had. Yay!! Didn't really sell any of the ten roller derby magnets. Boo!! Sold a couple of roller derby buttons. Yay!! The company that helps GDG with their art needs, ACME Archives, made some giclee prints of Puss N' Boots. Yay!! Didn't sell any of them because they weren't on display. Boo!!
All in all, a hilarious experience.
I ended seeing almost nothing of the rest of the convention and so I didn't buy a damned thing other than food all weekend. Great for the pocketbook, since the money for the hotel room was extravagant.
Saturday evening was spent with Scooby friends at the nearby Hyatt, where we sat and drank and ate and talked a lot about stoopid stuff and generally had an easy-going time. After awhile we found out that the Hyatt is the default spot to go to when you have nowhere else to go. The downstairs bar areas filled up with nerds, and our friends started wandering off, so the Dear Husband and I went up to a nearby balcony and started throwing paper airplanes on the crowd below.
And didn't get caught.
Then some of the GDG girls came trickling in so I took out the trusty Sharpies that had been unused all weekend and drew on them. That got things a-buzzin', and next thing I know I'm drawing on some guy's bald head. Then I drew on another guy's neck, but he started getting really flirty and borderline stalker, topped off with him shoving $10 in my shirt. The DH didn't like that, and said he wanted to leave NOW. OK, not a problem!
Bicycled back to the hotel, went to sleep, got up early, and got the hell outta Dodge. Made it back home in just over 2 hours. WOOHOO!!
So to recap, I'd go to Comic Con again if circumstances booth-wise are similar to what I had this year. And I'll take into account traffic reports much more seriously.
Which is slightly difficult, because I'm veryveryvery sore from running not one, but THREE rounds of "Tarametrics" for the kiddies at the LA Derby Dolls' Jr. Derby Camp that's in session this week. All I want to do today is sleeeep.
I heard that the kids didn't think I was as tough on them as they'd hoped. Harrumph. I hope they're sore as hell today too!
BUT...
I have my Sharpies ready to go. Think I have enough?
I'm also bringing about 750 gumballs. That's right, gumballs. They have Scooby and Shaggy on them. No, I didn't buy them myself...the Dear Husband got them from one of his coworkers. Apparently said coworker has a gumball machine and ordered these gumballs for it. For whatever reason, they're not what he wanted, so he brought them to work to give away there. That's when the DH took over by saying how funny it would be for a bunch of women to hand out gumballs at their booth at Comic Con.
I also found my flask. That will be absolutely necessary.
Oh, I suppose I should say where I'm gonna be, since there might actually be a reader or two of this blog who might stop by and get drawn on(suckas!):
GirlsDrawinGirls booth #5528
Friday and Saturday, noon-4pm
On Friday I'll be doing "portfolio reviews"(lourd help the lost souls who dare approach me for that), and on Saturday I'll be a Booth Babe. Hint:I'll be the one looking like a tranny.
I actually can't wait to see the new book GDG is putting out: Once Upon A Girl. What I've seen already looks fantastic, so GO BUY THE BOOK!
As an added bonus, my Puss N' Boots pic is in it. So...GO BUY THE BOOK!
As I scramble around trying to get ready for Comic Con this week and Rollercon next week, I decided to scan and post something that no artist working in the animation industry gets enough of.
Positive reinforcement!
The below post-its are from the last batch o' freelance I did. Yeah, the batch that nearly killed me. It was almost worth it since they actually gave me positive notes:
Which I hope to remember that the next time I direct, I pass the idea along of leaving more positive feedback notes on story artists' boards.
I can't believe how horrible I am at self-organization and self-promotion. It's staggering.
This week a call went out to DIY derbydom to send bout posters, league stickers, etc. to Michigan where they're filming the latest Drew Barrymore film, Whip It! They'll be using said posters and stickers as background elements in the film.
Well, since I wasn't young or cool enough to be a skater for the film, I thought that I should get some posters and stickers in ASAP. But, I don't have extras of the posters I designed to just give away, so I emailed the contact for the film's "art department" asking if I could send a disc of the images and if they decide to use them I'll find a way to print them up.
But noooooooooooooo, they won't go for that.
DAMMIT.
I'm pissed. Mainly at myself for not grabbing more copies of my stuff when I had the chance.
So all I have to send at this point are the Battle on the Bank posters (luckily they're big: 18"x24") and some stickers.
That'll learn me.
Speaking of art crap, here's the final result of the single drawing I did for SureGrip last year. They approached me at Rollercon and afterwards had me do a single drawing. Due to getting paid for that drawing, I was able to write off the entire convention on the ol' taxes. Good times!
Nice looking ad, don't you think? Except for the fact that the skater girl doesn't have a nose!!!!!!!!!!!
Luckily the sticker turned out better:
And no, I didn't grab enough of the stickers to send along to the Whip It! people either.
At least it's partly cloudy, so that the sweat waterfall I have going down my back when I run errands on the bicycle is about .0657934% less than it would be if the sun were full-bore, but still.
It's gross.
So I'm staying inside as much as possible and trying to do an Illustrator version of this drawing:
Cute, don't you think?
I don't know what I'll do with her. Maybe more magnets if the first batch turns out OK(still waiting for them to show up), more buttons, or even shirts. We'll see. Would you buy a shirt with her on it?
Apparently everyone got some kind of sickness after Battle on the Bank. Most people got a cold, some started barfing, and I got bronchitis. Well, it's actually a reappearance of whatever I had exactly two months ago when I thought the Dear Husband was going to kill me from coughing so much.
Two months ago, I was given the very popular "Z-pac" antibiotic to combat said cough. The doctor that I saw this time hates the Z-pac, because it doesn't thoroughly kill whatever it's supposed to. He said it's a marketing fad from the insurance companies. I tend to believe him.
This time I got some comparitively old-fashioned amoxicillin. Made me feel bloated the first couple of days I took it, but now I'm OK and not looking or feeling like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. I'm on this stuff for ten days, so I'm on the wagon for that time. Which is probably for the best, considering the White Russian abuse I heaped upon my body on the Fourth of July.
You can tell I'm not working 'cos I'm posting here too much.
Below is a clip from Cats Don't Dance and it's one of my fave contemporary animated films. Very snappy animation, which I love. Didn't do well in the theaters, unfortunately. It also features my favorite villian in the whole world, Darla Dimple:
Her advice to be "Big and Loud" has obviously stuck with Hurricane Ken and myself!
I'm going to be attending for the first time in about, oh, eleven years.
CRIMINEY.
The San Diego convention center is going to be packed to the gills with comic book, animation, and movie nerds. The classic type o' nerd that probably lives with his parents well into his thirties and hasn't seen a grown woman nekkid unless it's at a strip club. The type of nerd that hasn't figured out the intricacies of personal hygiene and grooming in the form of bathing and putting on deodorant.
The last time I went, I barely lasted the day before I ran screaming from the convention center.
Now, I really shouldn't complain about nerds and conventions, especially considering that I met the Dear Husband at a sci-fi convention called Westercon 18 years ago. But that was different. He bathed and wore deodorant!
I have to say that there's also a bunch of people from the animation industry, and most of them have the whole hygiene and bathing routine down, as well.
So I shall be helping out at the GirlsDrawinGirls booth this year. Which should be entertaining, since I'm not much of a salesperson. As an added bonus, they want me to be a "booth babe". Which would consist of me wearing my derby uniform(and hopefully skates) trying to lure in the least smelly of the nerds to buy the latest GDG book. Ah, high comedy!
The other thing they want me to do is be present for "portfolio review". Which would consist of me looking at wannabe artists' portfolios and critiquing them.
Am I the only one who sees the flawed logic in this?
Alright, in reality, they want me to do it because they think it's funny.
And I guess it is.
So if you're going, be sure to stop by their booth and get ready to laugh. You'd better hope I don't have my skates on, though!
Oh, and it looks like I'm gonna have refrigerator magnets to sell. I'm trying out two 10-packs of two different designs: the Puss N' Boots girl and the Battle on the Bank skaters. I ordered them thru CafePress, which I was told is pretty good about sending stuff quickly. If they sell, then I'll see what I can do to expand.
I'll take over the world one way or another, dammit.
And I've had a decent day so far. It certainly is shaping up better than yesterday and Sunday, at any rate.
So now it's time to get sh!t done. For now that's going to mainly focus on the house, as it's filled with a ton o' ca-RAP, but I'm keeping my body fit so that when I get back to the skating, I will not have lost anything but my bad feelings.
Note: this is heavy-duty Derby Drama. It's not for the faint of heart, or for those who have only a casual interest in my little roller derby hobby. You may want to skip this one if you want your image of what I do on my off-days to be fun and happy.
Proceed with caution...
I was soooooooooooo high on Saturday.
Today I'm sooooooooooooooooooo low, it looks like up to me.
When we last left our intrepid blog, we had a triumphant First Day of the Battle on the Bank Tournament. I barely slept Saturday night, but was pumped and ready to go yesterday.
Got to the track early, warmed up for what seemed like hours, drank an obscene amount of energy drinks, and was generally ready to kick more Team Awesome butt.
The first game of the evening saw a buttload of ejections from both teams (TXRD vs. San Diego), so the LA Ri-ettes and Team Awesome captains met with the refs to tweak the rules so that if anyone gets ejected in the first half of the game, they can still come back for the second half. You think you know where this is going, don't you.
Game time.
Things start off great. LA pulls a decent lead on Team Awesome. I'm put into a couple of jams, but get sent to the penalty box both times in the first quarter. Damn! But overall the team's doing well. I do my thang in the second quarter, and penalties on other skaters rack up. One, Krissy Krash, is ejected before halftime.
A rare shot of me skating while jammer Mila Minute is knocked down by Team Awesome skater Demanda Riot(she's the uber-scary girl with the face paint and dreadlocks. She hit me into the rail a few jams later and I thought my right breast was going to be ripped free of my body):
Score at halftime: 37-24 in favor of LA.
After halftime, things got ugly.
Team Awesome kicked into high gear and came back on us BIG time and started kicking our butts. As the second half of the game wore on, I noticed that I was put up on the track less and less. Team Awesome got the lead and held on for awhile.
By the fourth quarter, I skated in one jam. I didn't accrue a single penalty in the second half of the game. Krissy Krash got ejected again. I still don't get put into game rotation.
At first, I assume that it's because of the whole penalty thing in the first quarter. But, by the second half, my penalties are gone. So...why wasn't I put into game rotation?
I don't know.
Now, I'm not implying that because I wasn't being played, that Team Awesome was able to catch up to LA score-wise. However, there's nothing that can convince me at this point that I didn't at least play as well as the rest of the skaters on my team. So "choking" isn't an issue in my mind. If a skater is on an "all-star" team, they should play. Plain and simple.
EDIT: well, apparently choking was an issue in the captain's mind. She claimed I didn't skate well in the game. I still dispute that, but I gotta wait for game footage to see if I really sucked more than the other players that got to stay in.
I also think I was handicapped for that going into this situation, and had I known what the captain thought of me before the tournament, I might've done things differently...namely stayed on the Golden Girls team.
ANYWAY...
Oh, look, here I am...sitting. I got really good at that:
I got frustrated about not being played and said so during a quick break, and the Ri-ettes captain said, But Tara,it's for the good of the team!
WHAT?!
The game wears on. By the last jam, LA was ahead by 4 points. But, in the last jam, the LA jammer commits a major penalty, which means that the points she earned is given to the other team and an overtime jam is run with no jammer from the offending team. The score is now tied as a result.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
That caused some drama on the team. The LA team captain calls for "four big blockers", since LA has no jammer. I stand up, and get ignored. I sit down.
And cry like a big baby.
The overtime jam is run, and ANOTHER major penalty is thrown, so a SECOND overtime jam is called for.
HOLY CRAP.
I tried to leave the track at this point, but one of the refs wouldn't let me. I go back to the bench and continue to be miserable.
This has never happened before, and it certainly wasn't anticipated. The crowd is going NUTS. The announcers are confused, and say so over the loudspeakers. They practically demand an explanation from the head ref of the game, but he has his own problems to deal with.
LA's captain has skated over to him and started screaming in his face. She throws a helmet. Another LA skater throws her helmet. Those are grounds for getting ejected in the ruleset. Water bottles from the audience start flying into the infield. The head ref takes the abuse and tells LA's cappie to set up the next jam. He doesn't kick her out for insubordination.
She has the nerve to let herself and the other helmet-throwing skater skate that jam. While I still sat. Both teams have jammers.
The jam is played, and LA won by a single point, 63-62.
Btw, if you want to read the Dear Husband's furious text messages of the game as it happened, check out Derby News Network.
The instant the last whistle is blown I gather my sad self and quickly exit the track and go to the dressing rooms. On my way I pass the head ref surrounded by a phalanx of refs, also on their way to the dressing rooms.
As I start tearing off my skates, I hear a whistle being repeatedly blown. I go back out, and see the aftermath of a "fan" who had ACCOSTED the head ref. The "fan" was luckily thrown out without further incident.
Jeezus.
I finish packing up my gear, and in my still-gross skate clothes, text the Dear Husband that I wanna leave ASAP. At the time he's caught up in the rules debacle and doesn't have a clue about my own personal Waterloo in regards to the game.
In a comedy of errors, I end up outside behind the dressing rooms, smoking like a fiend and waiting to get the hell out of there as skaters mill about, celebrating. Have a beer? Um, no thanks. Going to the afterparty? HELL NO.
I had several people come up to me to tell me how great I skated and how badass I was in the game.WTF?!?!?!? Didn't they watch the game? It was truly disturbing to me, since all I did was warm the damn bench.
Finally, DH and I got ourselves squared away with late dinner plans with one of the TXRD retired skaters, Cherry Chainsaw. On our way out I came across the LA Ri-ettes co-captain. She smiled brightly and says, "You're the only one I didn't hug tonight! It was great skating with you!" I stared at her in absolute astoundment and said, "I practically didn't skate in the fourth quarter. What the hell..?" She stared back and whispers that she's sorry. I believe her, but I wasn't going to discuss the matter with her right then, so I made my exit quickly.
Thank gawd we got away from everyone for awhile. Had a fun and funny dinner with Cherry, and dropped her back off at the track at around 2:30am.
Drove home.
Fumed.
Cried.
Tried to sleep, but couldn't.
To keep things on a lame note: I had to turn in my freelance today. My computer monitor decided to malfunction while I was trying to print out my invoice, and I lost a contact lens while riding home on the murdersickle from Woodland Hills. It ain't easy trying to ride a murdersickle on the freeway when one is half blind. When I got home I cried some more and drank a beer.
Go, me. MORE EDIT: apparently this entry is causing waves. I could take it down, but for now it stays up. My attitude is still going up and down, but I'll get over it. So will everyone else. I'm happy to hear that the visiting skaters overall had a blast, so that's good.
Today I'm exhausted and a little sore, but I gotta play again, as it's day two of the tournament. We go up against Team Awesome again, as Team Awesome also smacked down Texas in our bracket.
Beautiful.
Here's the amazing and thorough bout intro from yesterday:
There was a training emergency this week, where the trainer for the Fresh Meat skaters couldn't lead practice.
So I took a break from my Freelance Hell and lead said practice.
The league's latest awesome photographer, Rinkrat, was there testing some lighting techniques for this weekend. Here are some of the results...
Me and PITA demonstrating how to give a whip. It's hard to tell in this photo, but PITA's taking off after receiving a whip from me:
Me addressing the troops. It's common for skaters to associate me with the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. It's the voice...I don't call people "Private Pyle", and no one has blown their brains out due to my abuse.
Yet.
A beautiful wide shot of our track. I'm skating on it, about to demonstrate something mindblowingly stupid, I'm sure.
The Battle on the Bank tournament is closing in this weekend. It turns out that I won't be skating much in it, based on last night's practice with the game lineups. Boo. I would've been better off staying with the Golden Girls(the "B" team...or the Bea team, as the case may be...uh, Bea). Ah well, I guess I should just be happy to be playing at all, but I'm pissy because I've been working my @$$ off on all fronts to be ready. Phooey.
So what I was going to put towards being disciplined and training hard is going towards me just concentrating on finishing my freelance before the weekend and then celebrating appropriately. Which doesn't involve much discipline. In fact, pizza and beer are visible on the horizon. Hell yeah!
The ramblings, doodles, and misadventures of an animatin', roller derby-playin', drunk-doodlin', murdersickle-ridin' goofball woman in Lost Strangeles. You can try to shut me up, but it probably won't work.
