I'm SO SCREWED.
It's as transparent as I feared.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I'm pulling out the hot glue gun and some needles and thread and will be adding another layer of fabric to the costume. I'm so NOT artsy-craftsy, this should be an interesting endeavor. How badly will I screw it up? Only time will tell. Stay tuned...
Also, I went shoe shopping yesterday for the costume.
For great cheap heels, Hollyweird Blvd. can't be beat. There's a buttload of stripper supply stores along a 4-block corridor that makes shopping for gloves and stripper shoes very easy.
It's also a humbling experience for big ol' knuckle-draggers such as myself, as strippers are tiny! An example: at a regular store, I'm now running at around a 10 or 10.5 in shoes, depending on the brand. At the stripper stores, I'm at Tranny-sized 12. 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The clothes are the same way. In regular stores, I'm at around a size 8 to 10. In other words, average. The stripper stores don't even bother making clothes in my size, 'cos in Stripperland, I'm OBESE. Therefore, I don't exist, 'cos fat strippers don't make money.
Visually, this is how I felt after going shopping at the stripper stores:
Oh btw, the shoes I got look remarkably similiar to the ones the, uh, "lady" on the far right is wearing, except I have mules.
They're surprisingly comfortable compared to the f*** me pumps I wore in Vegas.
Weird.
Somehow I doubt that I'll be taking many pix of my costume this year!
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