Things I Learned this Weekend

More things to add to my life's experiences:

• On a bicycle, it's just over 29 miles roundtrip from my house to the new Temple of the Dolls. It takes about an hour and a half to ride one way betwixt the two locations.

• Traffic on Beverly Blvd. east of La Brea will definitely take a few years off one's life if they're stoopid enough to ride a goddam bicycle through the area.

• Pink and sparkly nail polish holds up remarkably well despite the intense physical labor it takes to put up the banked track.

I now understand why women expect men who date them to pay for dinner: being a girl is difficult! Here's some examples:

• One must be a technical genius to figure out how to put on false eyelashes.

• High heels are the most insidious torture devices that are still legal.

• Wearing fishnets with said high heels adds an extra element of exquisite pain that really wears on the nerves as the fishnets dig into the balls of the feet.

• Wearing fishnets and high heels while trying to manoever down a flight of cobblestone stairs while carrying a bag of ice is a very, very stoopid thing for me to do. Even more stoopid than riding my bicycle to Silverlake.

• Ever wear a wig? Don't.

• Trying to add pink marabou feathers to a costume will result in whatever room this project was undertaken in to resemble the aftermath of a gay chicken exploding.

• Silver lame` will make one's hands sweat.

And on to Halloween:

• You know you have a good costume when people you hang out with all the time don't recognize you.

• It's very important to bring glue for touch-ups.

• If you're going to dress up as a specific character, act like you're that character while in costume.

• Rough Draft puts on a good party, even though the drinks were weak. Or my liver is strong. Hmmmmm.

• Party food makes my tummy very upset.

• Who knew that one would see not one, but TWO Barfs at the same party???

Hopefully Halloween night will be equally as fun!