It's Official!

The Derby Dolls had their annual prom/awards ceremony over the weekend. I was originally going to blow it off, since I wasn't nominated for any awards (including being shut out of the Badass Blocker category) this year. Yeah, I was shocked, too!

However, I relented and pulled out my jammies and Tazmanian Devil slippers for the "Pajamarama"-themed event. Our warehouse is freakin' FREEZING this time of year, so I had to scrap the idea of pulling out Halloween's Fembot costume, as I didn't want to freeze certain body parts off.

During the awards ceremony portion of the evening, I was too busy stuffing my face with pizza and drinking an interesting combination of champagne and Sparks to pay much attention to the awards being given out to everyone but me. Yes, I'm a selfish little twerp...didn't you know that?! All of the sudden, I hear, "TARA ARMOV!" and everyone turned to look at me while I was still preoccupied with the aforementioned activities.

Why?

Because I apparently won in a category that wasn't up for a vote, but depended solely on statistics: Most Penalized Player of the 2007 season.

Yep, I'm officially a troublemaker!


Look, here's a photo of Demolicious(league owner), Orlando Doom(with his back to camera), me, MY TROPHY, and teammate Leia Mout:
















A breath-taking shot of MY TROPHY and my ugly mug:




















And yet another charming, demure shot of me and MY TROPHY:





















I wish I had been nominated for Badass Blocker(teammate Broadzilla won that one), but it seems that quite a few people think that Most Penalized is the Award That Matters. I'm beginning to agree with them!

A Reaction Worth Waiting For...

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"Tara! Tara! Tara!"

I'm jealous over Tara again. The below is from a blog that Arizona Roller Derby's Coach Pauly said after coming out to train the Derby Dolls last weekend:

Now to name a few people that I would love to steal and bring back to the desert with me … Broadzilla is an awesome blocker/skater, Iron Maiven, this girl Is a freak of nature, jammer blocker and over all ass kicker, PITA well she is different that's for sure it's been a longtime that someone has made me flinch…but really folks she is an awesome skater, And Tara I can't say enough about this lady she is a leader on and off the track a true competitor.

Wow. Just...WOW. This comes from a guy who has been a part of the "new wave" of roller derby for over 4 years now...Arizona was the first league outside of Texas, and they have some BADASS skaters. Pauly used to play football and rugby, and his coaching skills are top-notch. He put the Good Hurt on us real good over the weekend, and it was exactly what the league needed.

And then there's the blog entry I found from one of the Fresh Meat, Gritty in Pink. She said:

But I still want to prove something to myself. I want to prove that I can do this, finish what I start and make something of myself physically--leave the “brain in the jar” life behind. Does that mean skating till I drop every day? Will I not be satisfied until I have Tara Armov’s muscles and Mila Minute’s speed?

The husband read that and said, "I never noticed that you had muscles."

Harrumph!

Where Do I Go?

Lately I'm sitting in a puddle of mental mud. I know that I gotta get my crap together art-wise, but so far I've failed to do so.

I think it's because art is so subjective. With skating, I know where I stand skills-wise. Art-wise...uh...well, some people like my art, some don't. If I were to go by the number of comments I get on this blog, I'd say that most don't.

It's a little disheartening.

However, I've been trying to channel the badass Tara Armov side into action to "coach" the wussy artistic side of me to get off my ass and do something.

We'll see how that goes.


In the meantime, here's another Dead Famous Dog doodle:

I Still Don't Like Backgrounds

I finally got ol' Puss n' Boots out of Illustrator and into Photoshop:





















I knew I did better on the foreground foliage when I asked my sister what she thought of it and she said, "There's foreground foliage? I didn't even notice." SCORE!

I think I'll have to scrap the background trees and try again. Or use more "blur".

TakeTwo...

Back to the Dead Famous Dog doodles:





















I was going for a stinky mummified effect with this one. Kinda stupid, now that I look at it. The yellowing teeth is a nice touch, however. Action Boy's reaction to this was similiar to his reaction to the first one, mainly a non-reaction. Yeesh, what the hell do I have to do to get something of a horrified reaction around here?!

Well, will ya look at that!

Do yourself a favor and read my buddy Kenny's blog entry on Martha Raye.

I don't know much about her except that she did Polident commercials and married some scumbag young guy not long before she died. That last bit was always played up on the Howard Stern show.

Anyway, I was talking with Kenny on the phone Monday night and he told me of the above blog entry, and mentioned that even though she was mainly a vaudeville/comedic actress, she had a hot bod that was, uh, underutilized in her roles. I think the clip he posted vouches for that.

I love seeing clips like that...it changes the way one views a particular actor/actress, and in this case it's for the better.

Here We Go Again...

Alright, let's try posting some drawings on this-here blog, yes?

This is actually a re-post:





















Yes, it's a dead Famous Dog holding a dead flower with flies buzzing around his stinking, rotting corpse. This is actually part of a series of doodles I did last summer. The story behind it goes something like this:

One of the other sequence directors...um, we'll call him "Action Boy" since storyboarding and directing action-adventure shows is his forte...would bring flowers in from his backyard to give to all the wimminfolk in the office a few days each week. I don't think the idea was to hit on any of us, it was just something he did. Anyway, we wimminsfolk were a little confused and perplexed at first, but most of them got over it.

I decided to get weird in reciprocation by leaving a doodle for Action Boy whenever the gifted flower died and I would return the vase/bottle/water receptacle that it was living in to him. Why a dead dog with dead flowers? Why the hell not? It was fun to work with a theme, which is something I rarely do.

The intent of the doodles was to make Action Boy just a leetle bit uneasy around me. It didn't work with the first doodle. Stay tuned to see what I do to up the ante.

FASCINATING, Captain...

Here's a fun little clip from the Championship game. It's a jam near the end of the game where Fight Crew's Fighty and Tawdry Tempest, get slammed down in a HIGHLY illegal move by the Siren's PITA as she cuts across the track to hit 'em at around the 13 second mark of the clip:





Now, the result of this jam SHOULD'VE been a major penalty on the Sirens. But nooooo, the refs TOTALLY MISSED THE BLOCK. Neither Fighty or Tawdry could skate due to PITA's block, the Sirens put in a fresh jammer with a full pack(including the offending PITA), and in the next jam, the Sirens won the game.

Needless to say, this is causing some derby drama amongst the ref crew.

Good times!

Dejected Rejected Ejected

Wanna know how to get ejected from a Derby Doll Championship game? Watch this:

I Can't Draw Foliage!

Puss n' Boots update:






















That plant-like thing in the lower righthand corner is gonna get overhauled. Spiky is not the direction it should go in.

I have other tweaks to do while this is still in Illustrator. The majority of the background stuff will happen in Photoshop, where the handy-dandy "blur" feature will be used to cover up my ineptitude with backgrounds.

Thank goodness the deadline for this project has been extended to February. I'm gonna need it!

Ahahahahahahha!!!!!!

Today one of the roller girl Yahoo! groups got a little snarkey over this:





Yes, Rock of Love II with Bret Michaels. Oh, did you notice a banked track in there amongst all the boobage? Yeah, go look again. I'll wait.

That was the SOOPER SECRET shoot I did with Myna Threat and Mila Minute back in November. The one where I threw out my back for a freakin' MONTH just by sitting wrong. Funny, but I don't remember the contestants looking as stripper-ish as they do in the promo clip. I guess they were toned down for our shoot due to the nature of the activity.

Sad thing is, it was a pretty fun shoot to do. The crew was funny, Bret Michaels was personable, they put makeup on our sweaty little faces, we got fed, and we got to hit chicks that have never done derby before. Not too shabby!

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! I ate a lot of queso, drank a lot of vodka and Red Bull, and danced like the drunk white girl that I am for NYE. I also got to beat the bejeezus out of a pinata. That was a lot of fun!

Look! I dressed like a real gurl!





















Partay:

















Everyone might have been a little intoxicated:

Mucho Mucha

The holidays have been great this year. Both sets of parents decided for one reason or another that shopping is overrated, so they didn't get anyone anything and didn't really expect much from us, either. It turned out to be a fantastic way of doing things, and made everything much more enjoyable and fun.

My one drawback from this fabulous plan came when I didn't get a calendar like I usually do from my sister. So yesterday I ventured forth into the shopping-crazy world to see what I could get.

I ended up with a calendar of one of my favorite artists, Alfons Mucha. You've seen his work. You can't miss it. It defined Art Nouveau. Check it out:






























































I wish I could draw like that! Absolutely gorgeous! As an added bonus, the calendar was 50% off. Yay, me!

Other holiday presents that I bought myself:

• new knee and elbow pads for the roller derby

• sportsbras. Lots of them

• a PRISTINE vanity case from the 1960's

• pants from the Gap. On sale for cheep

Hooray for commercialism!

I've also been eating like crazy. Four pounds have been gained just this week. Hooray for gluttony!


TCM has been showing a lot of cool movies the past week or so. My favorite so far is The Man Who Came to Dinner. GENIUS! Hooray for Monty Woolley! Not the funniest clip, but a fun clip nontheless:

Hay! Look!

The UPS man brought me a special treat yesterday.

If you order from a catalog here:




















You can buy some "personal cases" that look like this:


















I'm pleased overall with the way they turned out. They look fantastic in real life...the catalog doesn't do them justice! Do you like my criminalesque scrawl for my "signature" in the catalog? It's shexshay!

My favorite case is the matador. She looks BADASS.

Finessing away...

Here's a WIP shot of Puss N' Boots. The shading and color obviously needs serious work, and I'm busy playing with her shadows today. ugh, I suck at this stuff!





















After I block out all of the pertinent stuff I'll take the file into Photoshop and finesse it more so that it'll end up looking somewhat decent. I'm running behind on this project so I'm feeling flustered and rushed. I still don't know what to do officially for the background.

For a combination birthday/Hanukkah present the husband got me a flat-screen monitor. HOLY CRAP what a difference it makes when it comes to doing the art crap on the computer! I can actually see what I'm doing for once! I can turn it 90 degrees, too! It's nifty!

This week I hope to check out the Murakami exhibit. I'm feeling pent-up and out of ideas art-wise.

Moar Bout Pix

Here's a link to awesome bout photos.

Since this is MY blog, here's some photos of ME:


Leader of the Pack:














Cannondoll X gets smacked I:















Cannondoll X gets smacked II:














Cannondoll X gets smacked III:














Losanjealous writes the best bout reviews ever. Alright, maybe it's because they specifically mention me at the 9.29pm mark. Wow, getting compared to a Bond villain is damn cool!!

Pix

Here's a few pix from Saturday night.

A Wall of Red:











Me doing my Superman impression on Kung Pow Tina:















My father-in-law, Papa Armov in the stands:















Gosh, it's been almost four years doing this roller derby thang. Just amazing. I'm still as dorky as I was when I started, as this photo from Texas attests:















Here's my buddy Kenny's assessment of the game. It was really really REALLY cool that he and the Redhead made it to the game!

LA Cityzine did a review, too.


I finally finished my freelance! Now I gotta get crackin' on Puss n' Boots. She's in color right now. I have to figure out a background for the piece. My big weak spot is not being able to do backgrounds worth a crap! I'll post a WIP on it soon.

AUGHAUGHAUGHAUGHA*GH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's over.

Finally.

In the Fight Crew vs. Sirens Championship game, FC lost by TWO POINTS in the LAST JAM.

Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It was a ca-RAZY game. The crowd was going bonkers. So was I.

Highlights from the game that I can kinda-sorta remember:

• I finally had a significant number of friends and family at this game. I can't adequately describe how warm and fuzzy this made me feel.

• My parents FINALLY saw me skate. Apparently my mom got to boast to another audience member that she is the mom of Tara Armov.

• There were a sh!t-ton of other Fight Crew fans, too. They were louder than the Sirens fans. Ha!

• I got through the first half with almost no penalties. That was good.

• The audience is amused when skaters sitting in the penalty box pretend that they're having a tea party while serving their penalty time. Don't ask me how I know this.

• I got KICKED OUT OF THE GAME in the second half because I quickly racked up penalties. That was bad. The penalty that got me kicked out was when I allegedly elbowed Sirens jammer Mila Minute and sent her FLYING into the rail. She deserved it.
  

• My team rallied like nobody's business after I got kicked out.

• My team's jammers were AMAZING. They were fast, they had quick feet, and they got through some tight spots in the Sirens' defense.

• Tawdry Tempest added to the Fight Crew count of members who have flown off the damn track. She was uninjured from the experience!

• Fight Crew was ahead by two points by the last jam of the game. Unfortunately they, uh...didn't do so well during the last jam and the Sirens scored four points to win the game. I WAS PISSED.

• After the game I got plenty of positive comments from friends and fans alike. I was really really really really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY happy to get to talk to most of my friends!

• I couldn't go to the afterparty because I couldn't find parking downtown. All the usual parking lots were closed. Harumph! It was just as well, really. I went home and drank a couple of glasses of wine and slept semi-well for the first time in weeks.

I'm now a zombie.


On a somewhat art-related note, here's a stoopid doodle I did over the summer:





















There's a story behind this, which I'll tell sometime in the next week. In the meantime, enjoy the corpse!

ONE LAST THING: The Entropy Project Update. Hahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Repost

Yes, a repost. Derby Dolls greatest hits. It's what my friends will see tonight in person:

Ha!

Happy Birthday to me, indeed!

I go to practice and I get: sung at, some red and black socks, a kick in the rear, cuppycakes, and this rad card:
















I'm afraid Vulvarine produced a ridiculously accurate portrayal of me, except the exposed midriff and maybe the dismembered arm in my mouth(well, OK, maybe the arm does belong in my mouf)!

39

*sigh*

The last year of my thirties has now been reached today.

I suppose a lot of people get depressed when they get my age, as time marches on...right across our faces!

By LA standards, I should've been shipped off to the glue factory ten years ago. Funny, but I think I look and feel better now than I did a decade ago.

Jeezus, a decade?! I AM old!

Anyway, due to the Championship game on Saturday, it's gonna be a low-key birthday this year. Today I skated at the beach. Tonight I'll skate some more at the track. Sometime this afternoon I'm going jogging. I've been eating a lot of trail mix, so my energy level is fantastic.

My presents so far have been a cool DVD set of Hollywood's Leading Men from the husband, and my parents are ACTUALLY FLYING IN TO SEE ME SKATE ON SATURDAY. I'm all a-tingle! Thank gawd no one has sent the guy in the photo to me in person. I couldn't take that.

Since my friend Kenny took the cool Bob McKimson birthday clip for his birthday, I'll grab the late Ms. Monroe. I may not be a president, but I'm feelin' pretty awesome just the same.

I'm So Damn Hyper Right Now!!

My team did something that I didn't know that we'd be able to do...

WE MADE IT TO THE SEASON CHAMPIONSHIPS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was no mean feat. We had lost the previous two games we played, and our practice game on Monday was ATROCIOUSLY bad. We lost by a lot of points in that scrimmage.

However, we got our collective heads out of our collective butts and put on a helluva secret mid-week not-open-to-the-public game that decisively gave us a much-needed win(Fight Crew: 38, Sirens: 24). Each team ended up with a 2-2 season, and so with the point spreads the way they were, we're in!!! We're playing against the Sirens...again. Just like last year.

To celebrate the victory, the husband and I went to Johnnie's Pastrami in Culver City and ate like pigs.

IT.

WAS.

WONDERFUL.

I'm so hyper I can't sleep. For those of you in LA or are gonna be in LA the weekend of Sat. December 8...COME TO THE GAME!!!!!! It would rock if you did!

I'm going to continue my crazy training of skating, running, and jumping on the trampoline for insane amounts of time. I guess I'll have to eat more pasta(it really makes a difference energy-wise during the game) from my fave Italian restaurant, Alejo's. Oh darn.

One of these eons I wish my parents would come see me skate before I retire my pasty white butt from this sport!

The Spectacle of the Derby Dolls

Here's a photo of Vagilante, one of the LA Derby Dolls' skaters. She has graffiti courtesy of me on her person:





















In "real life" she works for a large corporation that's known for having a squeaky-voiced mouse as its mascot. That's right, she's rotting your kids' brains! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

One of my teamates has her own blog, and yesterday she posted a thought-provoking entry about the spectacle of the Derby Dolls. Go read it, it's cool!

Back to work!

Graffiti in a Past Life

This weekend I got a photo of some parking lot graffiti that I did in Santa Monica when the Derby Dolls were still homeless a month or so ago. We were having a practice in a beach parking lot and I drew out track dimensions with chalk. I then drew a blocker(no photo available)and a jammer to indicate where everyone's supposed to set up for scrimmaging. Below is my jammer drawing:

















The photo is off of a skater's cell phone. Probably some of the best work I've ever done.

Naptime

It's Friday on a holiday weekend and I'm already needing a nap.

Yesterday for Turkey Day the husband and I rode the bicycles to Torrance. Last time we did it the husband said it was around 40 miles round-trip. This time he's saying it's 50 miles. So I'll split the difference and say that it was 45 miles. Whatever it really was, it was much needed because I ate enough BBQ'd turkey to sink a cruise ship.

The nephew and niece in-laws were present and annoying. The nephew in particular is gonna be real trouble in a couple of years. He's 10 years old now and kept following me around, wanting me to throw him, swing him around, tickle him, or toss him in a trashcan. Yeah, for real...I tossed him in a trashcan and he liked it. I tried to wear him out, but I think I merely succeeded in cementing the fact that he's going to need extensive therapy when he gets older(can we say, "masochist"?). The niece is now 12 years old and is at an age where she'll pound the living bejeezus out of her brother but will wisely leave me alone.

On the dark ride home both the husband and I went off the bike path along the beach near Hermosa into the sand. I almost went over the handlebars, but only my pride was actually wounded. The husband was trailing far behind, so I was already back on the path and pedalling along when he went off the path and managed to land on his shoulder. Owch! This is what happens when the path is the same color as the beach and is not lit at night. We even have lights on the bikes and we still couldn't see! Durrrrrrrr!


Today we got up early and went to the LA Auto Show.

What a disappointment.

The husband wants a new car, as his old car is 12 years old and has over 100K miles on it. It's a Trans Am, which Pontiac doesn't make anymore. Unfortunately, muscle cars are so out of vogue right now it makes trying to find a new car that's even in the same cool-factor ballpark almost impossible. If we wanted an SUV, we'd have plenty of choices. If we wanted an ugly peesachit cheaply-made econobox with crapacious gas mileage we'd be golden. But noooo, we want something that can go fast, from a domestic auto maker, isn't as big as a freakin' house, gets decent mileage and doesn't cost over $35K. Good luck with that.

Well, alright, we could get a Ford Mustang. That's it.

We wandered from booth to booth...the husband figuring out that his next car will be from a Japanese auto maker while I tried to stay merely upright due to under-caffeination. Everything was just so...bland. The only car that I got excited over was at the Mercedes booth. The damn thing was built in the 1930's. Not exactly practical to have nowadays, but DAMN it was BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLL. Convertible, suicide doors, craftsmanship...droooooooooooooool.

I almost got myself ditched when I insisted on talking with a James Mason/Ronald Coleman accent at the Jaguar booth. Phooey, I was determined to have some kind of fun.

So we came away with the knowledge that whatever the husband's next car is going to be, it's not going to knock our socks off. Bleh.


Derby crap:

Found this blog that's run by the councilman who leads the district the Derby Dolls are now in.

Tomorrow I'm driving to Chino Hills to skate in some pick-up scrimmage with a new league there. A bunch of the San Diego Derby Dolls are going, too. Should be entertaining.

Next week we're having a mid-week game that's not open to the public that'll determine who goes to our season championship game Dec. 8. Ugh. I think I'm ready for it if I eat enough carbs...oh darn, I might have to eat pasta on Monday and Tuesday.

OK, nap attack.

I'm Boring...

...when I work from home. Not much to say, since I don't talk to anyone except for the cats. They're horrible conversationalists, btw. It's the same thing every time. Feed me! Feed me! Pet me, I'm the cat! Pet me, I'm the cat! Go clean the litterbox or else I'll crap on the floor! Phooey.

Anyway, here's more roughs for the freelance I'm doing. Yeehaw!
















Definitely in need of refinement for the facial expressions.


Tomorrow the husband and I will ride our bicycles to Torrance for turkey day. I'm tempted to send him ahead by about a half hour or so. I might have to kill him otherwise if he doesn't keep up with my pace.

I'm Sick

I'm sick in the head for thinking this is freakin' hilarious. NSFW audio-wise:

SQUIRRELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All morning I've been hearing the chattering of an angry squirrel, but didn't bother investigating it. We have angry squirrels all over the place all the time, so I didn't think much of it.

However, the husband decided to investigate, as the little critter kept waking him up. He looks out the bedroom window and sees three neighborhood cats circling near a small folded table that's propped up in one corner of our patio. On the backside of the folded table hangs the angry chattering squirrel, waiting for the cats to get bored and leave.

The cats don't leave.

The squirrel keeps angrily chattering.

The husband says, We should go save the squirrel.

Screw that, let nature take its course, I snarl.

So for another hour, the angry chattering carries on.

Our own cats don't even acknowledge the Wild Kingdom episode playing out on the patio.

Finally, I take pity on the damn squirrel. It must be exhausted from hanging on the back of the little table. So I bravely step forth into the fray of nature armed only with my wits and a camera. The neighborhood cats immediately scatter. The husband stays back, in case the squirrel charges him.

Here's the little angry prey:





















Are you ready for your close up?



















Hey! You know what would be fun? To walk up to an angry squirrel and move the table it's attached to so that photos could be taken! And then the photos can be put up on the internets!























Boo!




















It's surprisingly difficult to take pictures of angry squirrels one-handed, I'll tell yew whut.

I handed the camera to the husband and attempted to lean the table forward so that the squirrel could escape. That little booger took off so fast, it was a brownish-grey blur going across the lawn to the safety of the telephone pole at the back of the yard. The husband couldn't get a photo of the Great Escape, unfortunately.

Now we're safe, and it's quiet.

Lucky 13

Yesterday was my 13th wedding anniversary.

Yeah, I'm surprised the husband has put up with my sh!t this long, too.

We celebrated by going to our fave dim sum place in Monterey Park, then hitting the cell phone store to look at new phones. I insist that the next phone I get has a keyboard so that I can drunk text easily. My friends will hate me for that. We then came home and did nothing for the rest of the day. Yeehaw!

Here's the rough drawing I did for the card I made for the husband. The final result doesn't fit on the scanner:






















More cat women. Gotta love 'em. This one is a takeoff of the Japanese "lucky cat" story. Oh, how clever!


Here's a rough of the latest freelance:










There's still some tweaking that needs to be done, but overall I'm happy with this bunch o' drawings.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is coming up next week already. Jeez! Where has this month gone?!

Saturday Clean-Up

The Derby Dolls were being neighborly by contributing our time to cleaning up the neighborhood around our new space, which is now christened "the Doll Factory" since it used to be an ice cream factory. We spent a couple of hours fanning out and cleaning up an amazing array of trash. Afterwards, we got to eat Fillipino food at a local church(I purposely stayed outside so that I wouldn't burst into flames) and say hi to the neighbors. I rode my bicycle to and from the Doll Factory, so I felt like I accomplished quite a bit.

Here's my work crew getting all obsessive about cleaning up curbside:















We found some mind-numbing treats. A fast-food bag filled with some sort of whitish-yellowish goo. A LOT of empty mayonnaise packets. Cigarette butts for days. Empty cups, bottle caps, and broken glass.

Here's a lovely sock that was apparently used for, uh, masturbatory purposes:




















Yes, I'm wearing latex gloves.


Here's one of two used condoms we found:




















This was the fresher of the two condoms. Mmmmm, tasty!


We found a bucket of used motor oil, too:





















That...thing that I'm holding is a plastic bag that was floating in the oil. Lourdy!

But we didn't win the prize for the grossest item found. That dubious honor goes to the boyfriend of one of the skaters who found a bag full of human excrement...with a sock in it. A close second place was a cup full of urine. It was great comparing gross stuff while we were eating afterwards!

Back to work. Pin-ups progressing nicely.

Hellooooooooooo, Sailor!

Here's another take on my Puss N' Boots project. What do you think?





















In other earth-shattering news...my back is killing me.

I seemed to have tweaked it yesterday during a tv shoot that I was participating in. Wait'll I tell you the stories about what happened on the set...oh wait, I can't! I signed a confidentiality agreement that keeps me from blathering about what I worked on. It's funny, I can tell you that. And I was pleasantly surprised that a main component of the show wasn't a stuck-up @$$hole. Just you wait, in January I'll be pimping what I participated in.

Did you mark your calendars for the next two Derby Doll bouts? Sat. Nov. 17 and Sat. Dec. 8 will be our last games of the season. Wooooooo!

AND, I sold another toilet seat at Toyroom Gallery in Sacramento. Yay me!

Cute and Adorable

Halloween was fuuuuuun this year.

We stayed home as usual, but invited the Drunk Scouts over to help hand out candy to the kids. There were a lot of kids. Hundreds of the little bastards. And they were cute. A lot of small children dressed as cute little bugs(ladybugs were the favorite). The older kids were fewer in number this year and generally were more polite than in years past. I did have to demand a "trick-or-treat" from some kids...hey, if you're gonna get free candy from me, you have to say something to me!

Our neighbor with the outrageous Halloween decorations said that he had 800 kids and 2,000 adults come to his house. He set things up so that people could walk through his decorated house. A-MAZING. We didn't get as many people as he did...we figure around 500 trick-or-treaters came to our door. Insane.

The costumes were a hit...both with the kids and the parents. This was the first year where parents asked if they could take our picture! Wow! Some people said funny stuff...an eight year old boy said, "Nice guns!" to me. A woman dressed like a small child in longjohns came up to the porch and yelled, "Mommmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" to me. I started laughing. She laughed back, and then we both ended up laughing even harder until we were both at the point of falling over due to the double entendre she said. It was great.

Below is a photo of me and the ever-adorable Raf. I include this just because he's cute. Maybe even cuter than the trick-or-treaters we got. The photo was taken a couple of months ago by one of the storyboard artists I pushed arou--I mean, directed over the summer. Every time I talked to her, she kept telling me how. Darned. CUTE the photo was, but I never saw it. It was hilarious because she hyped the cuteness factor several times in the past couple of months. I kept reminding her to send it to me, but I didn't get it until this weekend. I'm not cute, so I think the cute quotient comes down to a manageable viewing level.

Besides, I just had dinner with Raf and a couple of other Scooby Gang artists last week and had an entertaining time making fun of each other.


















I'm back to freelancing for the jewelry company that I did pin-ups for earlier this year. Oh darn, I have to draw more hot women! And I'm reworking my Puss in Boots assignment. Life can be so difficult!

I'm trying to figure out if the Writer's Strike is going to be bad for the business or not. Right now I say not, since the execs make sooooooooooooooooo much more money than the creatives. It's ridiculous.

Things I Learned this Weekend

More things to add to my life's experiences:

• On a bicycle, it's just over 29 miles roundtrip from my house to the new Temple of the Dolls. It takes about an hour and a half to ride one way betwixt the two locations.

• Traffic on Beverly Blvd. east of La Brea will definitely take a few years off one's life if they're stoopid enough to ride a goddam bicycle through the area.

• Pink and sparkly nail polish holds up remarkably well despite the intense physical labor it takes to put up the banked track.

I now understand why women expect men who date them to pay for dinner: being a girl is difficult! Here's some examples:

• One must be a technical genius to figure out how to put on false eyelashes.

• High heels are the most insidious torture devices that are still legal.

• Wearing fishnets with said high heels adds an extra element of exquisite pain that really wears on the nerves as the fishnets dig into the balls of the feet.

• Wearing fishnets and high heels while trying to manoever down a flight of cobblestone stairs while carrying a bag of ice is a very, very stoopid thing for me to do. Even more stoopid than riding my bicycle to Silverlake.

• Ever wear a wig? Don't.

• Trying to add pink marabou feathers to a costume will result in whatever room this project was undertaken in to resemble the aftermath of a gay chicken exploding.

• Silver lame` will make one's hands sweat.

And on to Halloween:

• You know you have a good costume when people you hang out with all the time don't recognize you.

• It's very important to bring glue for touch-ups.

• If you're going to dress up as a specific character, act like you're that character while in costume.

• Rough Draft puts on a good party, even though the drinks were weak. Or my liver is strong. Hmmmmm.

• Party food makes my tummy very upset.

• Who knew that one would see not one, but TWO Barfs at the same party???

Hopefully Halloween night will be equally as fun!

But is it art?

I've joined a cool group of ladies who call themselves GirlsDrawinGirls. They're in the animation industry and, well, they like to draw girls. How awesome is that?

They've already put out one book, and now they're working on another, due out next year. The theme is fairy tales, and the fairy tale I'm interpreting is Puss n' Boots.

Alright, stop laughing about how fu**king apropos that is.

Here's a rough idea that I'm still playing with:





















The easiest route to go would've been the furry route.

NO WAY in hell would I do that. So, it's a human Puss.

Shutup.

Btw, read the Wikipedia entry for Puss n' Boots here.



With all the fires in SoCal this week, it was easy to overlook a more local fire that went on in Venice on Wednesday. The husband was riding his bicycle home from Drunk Scout night and saw this going on in real time. No cops, no firefighters...just blazing palm trees and gunshots being fired. A guy ran by the husband yelling about a street fight coming their way. The husband wisely left after taking some video with his camera. He didn't hear any sirens until he was over a mile away. No coverage in the local news about this at all. We have no idea what the hell went on. Weeeeeeird.



The Derby Dolls are getting moved in to their new home in Historic Fillipino Town. Our first game in the new space is Saturday, Nov. 17. The next game(and last for the calendar year) will be in early December. Woot!


Back to work on the Halloween costume.

O Mazn...

Got the Austin Powers fembot costume in the mail today.

I'm SO SCREWED.

It's as transparent as I feared.

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow? I'm pulling out the hot glue gun and some needles and thread and will be adding another layer of fabric to the costume. I'm so NOT artsy-craftsy, this should be an interesting endeavor. How badly will I screw it up? Only time will tell. Stay tuned...

Also, I went shoe shopping yesterday for the costume.

For great cheap heels, Hollyweird Blvd. can't be beat. There's a buttload of stripper supply stores along a 4-block corridor that makes shopping for gloves and stripper shoes very easy.

It's also a humbling experience for big ol' knuckle-draggers such as myself, as strippers are tiny! An example: at a regular store, I'm now running at around a 10 or 10.5 in shoes, depending on the brand. At the stripper stores, I'm at Tranny-sized 12. 12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The clothes are the same way. In regular stores, I'm at around a size 8 to 10. In other words, average. The stripper stores don't even bother making clothes in my size, 'cos in Stripperland, I'm OBESE. Therefore, I don't exist, 'cos fat strippers don't make money.

Visually, this is how I felt after going shopping at the stripper stores:


















Oh btw, the shoes I got look remarkably similiar to the ones the, uh, "lady" on the far right is wearing, except I have mules.

They're surprisingly comfortable compared to the f*** me pumps I wore in Vegas.

Weird.

Somehow I doubt that I'll be taking many pix of my costume this year!

I'm an Idiot

Today's Idiocy:

Halloween costumes.

Every year it's a challenge to come up with something for both the husband and myself to put together...the past two years we've done pretty good, though. This year we were stuck, but got an idea from husband's coworker and fellow Drunk Scout, Raised by Wolves, to go as Austin Powers and a fembot.

FANTASTIC!!

This was an idea that especially sounded good at the King's Head Tavern in Santa Monica where the husband's soon-to-be-ex coworkers were "celebrating" a bunch of them getting laid off from the hell project they've been slaving away on for way too long. Note: don't take costume ideas seriously when two whiskey shots, two ciders, and a lack of food were present.

The next day we go online, find a couple of costumes(of which there is a wiiiiiiiiiiiiide variety of Austin Powers costumery to choose from), and order them. Halloween problems mostly solved! All I need is gloves, shoes, and a lot of liquor to actually go out in public wearing the damn outfit.

The photo of the fembot costume on the site that we ordered from looks like this:

























Cute. Pink. Not too embarrassing...somewhat opaque, which is a very, very good thing.

This morning I was hunting around the internet looking for ideas on how to do the gunbarrels sticking out of the fembot costume(no luck, btw), and came across this photo:

























I'm reallyreallyreallyreally hoping that this is NOT how the costume actually looks.

I'll die.

No, SERIOUSLY.

I'll freakin' DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE.


The costumes won't show up to the house for a couple more days. I'll be sitting and whimpering in a dark corner until they're here and I can see for myself what kind of trouble I've gotten myself into.

Pray for me.

In the meantime, here's the clip from the Austin Powers movie that this lunacy is coming from: