Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fucking Epic

This time last year the Dear Husband was working on a James Cameron film.

It was SOOPER-SECRET. It was sooooooooo secret, the DH wouldn't tell me anything about the film except that it had 9-foot-tall blue aliens in it and it was called Avatar. Eh, whatever! was my reaction at the time.

Most weeks were 7 day, 12 hour long funfests of computer magicry. Scenes were shot, reshot, reshot, reshot, and reshot again. When reshoots happened, the crew basically shrugged their tired shoulders and said, What are you gonna do? We're working for James-fucking-Cameron. He's known to be "difficult" to work with, and it's best to do what he says and just shut up about it.

And keep on working.

And working.

And working.

Some people worked on this film for years. The DH was on it for six months longer than anticipated. Luckily(?)I was freelancing on Back at the Barnyard, so even though I missed seeing him, I figured it's all part of the job when working for James-fucking-Cameron. When the DH was finally laid off, he insisted on hibernating for the rest of the year because he was so mentally exhausted.

But he said this film was going to be EPIC.

I got my first clue about how EPIC it was going to be when there was an Extra-Special 15 Minute Sneak Preview screening in late August across the US. When I went into the IMAX theater, I was still extremely not interested in the film. I'm not a big fan of sci-fi or action-adventure. Blue aliens? Dances With Wolves-esque story? Really? Blah.

I came out of the theater saying, WHOA.

YEAH, the DH replied.













A few months later...


Last night was the cast and crew screening of the finished film at Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Again, storywise it's not breaking new ground, but...

WHOA.

It's fucking EPIC, y'all.

No, really. It's REALLY FUCKING EPIC.

Go see it in IMAX. SRSLY. You'll wet yourselves.

Right after the screening was the afterparty at the Roosevelt Hotel(I have to remind myself to go back there to check out the redone lobby one of these days). We get there early, and right near the entrance is...James-fucking-Cameron, being gracious and talking it up with everyone who walked in.

OK.

Hollywood Bigshot of the highest order. Not too crowded party. Big loud-mouthed redhead who just saw a Fucking Epic movie that the Hollywood Bigshot made. What could possibly go wrong with this combination?

Side note: James-fucking-Cameron is so intimidating that at last year's holiday party, everyone's sphincter tightened up to instantly create diamonds in their intestines the moment Jim and his wife showed up. I've never seen anything like it. This dude gets crazy-mad respect from his crews.

I walk up to him. Wait while he talks to other people who shake his hand vigorously. He turns to me. I shake his hand and say, Congratulations on making an EPIC FUCKING FILM!

Now, go back to the crazy-made respect part for a quick second. Most people would NOT say that to a Hollywood Bigshot of the highest order. They would be very polite, very deferential, and very kissass. I, however, don't have a damned thing to lose, and why not be honest if it's complimentary?

It worked.

He smiles happily, turns to his wife and says, Did you hear that? FUCKING EPIC! Other folks gathered around the Man of the Evening laugh. The DH is probably about to faint behind me. Jokes are made about putting my "quote" in the ad campaigns. Jokes are then made about how the film is just...ok. I might tell my friends about it, I say to James-fucking-Cameron, then tell him congratulations again and wisely scooted away as more people started to flock around him.

Afterwards I instantly had the shakes and couldn't believe that I wasn't escorted off the premises.

The DH had a great time retelling the story to everyone he knew on the crew. He stayed later than I did and whooped it up right. Hopefully the work done on this film will lead to him being busy next year and I get the chance to be a foul-mouthed asshole to other Hollywood Bigshots!

EPIC WIN.

3 comments:

Shrinky Inky said...

lol, a perfect WIN!

i wasn't going to see it because that computer animation creeps me out, but fine, it's EPIC, I'll see it ;)

sadly, we don't have an IMAX 'round these parts.

Little Kenny said...

Hork! Nice, very nice. ;)

~lk

Troy said...

LOL- Well done! I had no idea.

Your epic fucking anecdote recalls the time I clandestinely fingered Don Knotts at a health resort in Baja, but your experience actually happened.

Grats to the DH on the fine job!