Thursday, October 30, 2008


After a Lost Weekend where I ate, drank, and smoked to excess in honor of Lardo, I'm back on a more normal keel.

Well, normal for me, at any rate.

For once I'm not dressing in something revealing, short-skirted, or in any way slutty for Halloween. Yes, I'm bucking the Hussy Trend by dressing as Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

You can stop laughing now.

The nurse's cap was surprisingly easy to get, once I googled it properly. Attaching it to my head might be tricky.

EDIT: attaching that thing is a BIG pain in the tuchus. It didn't come with instructions on how to attach it, so I googled it. Holy cow. Synching up the hair and the cap is going to be a nightmare for this idiot.

The nurse outfit was harder, and the one I got isn't exact by a long shot, but it's white.

The shoes I'm faking, as real nurse's shoes are fucking expensive.

The hair? Oh gawd, the hair.

I'm barely going to be able to do it, as my bangs are short. But I did find that with enough hair spray and cussing, I'll get a pass if I do what the rockabilly chicks call "victory rolls" in the front. I'm just going to use a curling iron to curl the rest of my hair under in the back.

I should look absolutely retarded.

Unfortunately, the big Halloween party that we've gone to the past couple of years thrown by Rough Draft studios isn't happening this year. Dammit. So we're going to invite some Drunk Scouts over tomorrow night and hand out candy to the kids and play pool in the back room. Should be fun.

Last weekend the Derby Dolls had a Babydoll Brawl, featuring up-and-coming skaters who haven't been placed on teams yet. It was a fun bout. At halftime our new Jr. Derby Dolls took to the track for a 15 minute game. It was PRECIOUS.

Afterwards, I was smoking in the parking lot and one of the Jr. Dolls came up to me and threw her arms around my waist. I'm so glad you saw us skate, Tara! Thanks! she said.

My mind was blown.

First, kids either love me or hate me. No inbetweens. But I still get tripped out when a kid instantly gloms on to me.

Second, I only taught at the Jr. League Summer Bootcamp for one day in July...I tortured them with Tarametrics and taught them some backwards skating tips. But that's all I did. For this future badass to remember me is amazing in my mind.

Third, what must her mom think?!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Friday was a Suck@$$ day

The doodle should explain why.

He came into my life on his own terms, and he left a day earlier than I planned to...sort of on his own terms. We still had to take him to the vet for the Final Goodbye, but we were going to do it Saturday, not Friday. He always liked throwing us off, dammit. But he was the consummate cat.

All in all, he was a tough little bastard who went through a LOT, but it was comforting to hear from the folks at the vet's that they thought I did good by him.

I miss him.

A lot.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Angry Doodle

This is an angry doodle:

Kinda OK, but the expression on her face is in dire need of finessing.

Monday, October 20, 2008


The battle of wits with the cat is ongoing.

I had to take the diabetic cat to the vet about a month ago because it had been over a year since he'd last been, he's old, and is getting picky about what he eats. Which makes it difficult to give him his insulin, because if he doesn't eat enough, he goes into insulin shock. Oh joy.

So the vet says that diabetic kitty is having thyroid issues, so he puts the little booger on thyroid medication. All is fine for a couple of weeks, then the "fun" begins.

The cat started pooping. A lot. And throwing up. A lot. Then he stopped eating. Uh-oh. At first I thought he just didn't like his food, because it's not as if he didn't ever poo and puke where he wasn't supposed to at odd times before. Hell, he's gone on hunger strikes before when he didn't approve of his food selection.

I took the cat back to the vet, and we both assume it's the insulin that's negatively affecting the cat. So I cut back on the insulin dosage. But not on the thyroid medication. Same soopy-poopy problems, so over the weekend I decide to stop giving the cat medication after he crapped on our bed for the second time. This is after the cat decides he's not gonna eat no way no how after I tried to force-feed him on Friday.

Ever try to force-feed a cat? Don't fucking do it.

Today he's still feeling queasy, but I can tell already that he's feeling a little better than he did over the weekend. Once he starts eating on his own again, it's back to the vet yet again.

In the meantime, I'm cleaning up an amazing amount of cat poop.

it looks like it's the end of the road for my cat. There's a large mass/growth thingy around his pancreas that's affecting his ability to eat and digest food. Considering his age and condition, the vet doesn't recommend surgery. So we're keeping Lardo as comfortable as possible until the weekend when we have to say goodbye.

This sucks.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Another silly doodle:

I gotta fix her's almost portfolio-worthy otherwise.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I'm in a "Yeah, whatever" mood today. Always a fine line between good and bad stuff going on, and I realize "good" and "bad" are extremely relative these days...

Good things: my portfolio is out and about. I have some freelance lined up to start after Halloween. I had lunch with RC and Mudsock yesterday and it was fun. I've lost half the weight I gained by porking out over the weekend.

Bad things:
internal politics suck. Some aspects involving a certain group in a certain bigger group are going backwards not forwards but as usual, I'm like Cassandra and will be ignored at best. Whatthehellever. The fires in SoCal have affected a few people I know, including one of my teachers from CalArts, Corny Cole. Sad. I still don't know who I'm voting for on Nov. 4. SRSLY. But I'm having fun watching/listening to the Frontline show on Obama and McCain.

Ok, here's a stoopid doodle I did while working on the last batch of freelance:

I think I was thinking of superhero chicks at the time.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Blown Away

Here's the back of the SNIFF shirt for 2008. If you didn't get one, you should wish you did:

I didn't do the painting of Stella depicted here. Professor and stealth artist Beate did. But I did arrange all the text and stuff. Woohoo!

And FINALLY...a Redneck Theater update.

Friday, October 10, 2008

A Failure I care about...

Banks are failing, the stock market is plunging, and things look bad in retailand.

But I try to stay positive, since I don't have diddley in the stock market (the Dear Husband isn't so carefree) and in general I'm broke, so I can't go much lower.

And then I read the most horriblest of horrible news:

Mother's Cookies shuts down.


If I can no longer buy these:

I have no reason to live.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


I'm rushing around this Yom Kippur getting ready for a quick trip to Jackson, CA.

Damn, I'm hungry.

And I know you're hungry for something other than my derby babblings, especially with a Redneck Theater update wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy overdue.

Well, too bad, all I have time for is more self-congratulatory, self-references on my self-blog.

The most relevant portions of losangelous' review:

9.30pm. Midway through the fourth quarter, Brawler co-capitanitas Long Island Lolita and Juana Beat’n are ejected in close succession, and again and of course DF has no clue why. But the crowd boos and cheers in equal measure, and it all works out quite well as the VBs’ two standout skaters get a moment in the spotlight, however pseudo-ignominious. Perhaps of even more note, though, not a single FC skater is ejected. (This is a good result in theory, but then again, the late-game Armov heave-ho was becoming as much a derby tradition as baseball’s seventh-inning stretch, and I must admit I kind of missed it.)

9.43pm. As the bout winds down, Vulvarine ices the Crew’s victory cake with a record-tying ten-point jam, and even Tara Armov gets a turn as jammer. But the final word goes to Judy Gloom, who punctuates her return to form after a long road back from injury with yet another five-point jam, earning honors as the game’s top-scoring jammer, and putting the exclamation point on the Fight Crew’s 78-23 victory over the Varsity Brawlers. On paper it’s a crushing margin of defeat, but it’s as mutually feel-good derby result as DF has ever seen; the big win was a much-needed tonic for the Crew after a disappointing 2008 regular season, and the Brawlers certainly have everything to be proud of after a fully meritorious and really quite promising debut.

See ya next week.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board...

That's how I'm feeling after Saturday's game.

My team WON. By a LOT. Something like a 50 point spread. Yeah, I know!


I got close to the ejection threshold, but was held back by an event no one saw coming...


For those who have never seen me skate, this is a BIG DEAL. I'm not an agile, lithe jammer. I'm a big, oafish blocker. However, near the end of the game our jammers were getting tired, yet we still had around 3 jams left in the game. So our team manager Kasey Bomber turned to me and said, "Hey Tara, wanna jam?" I looked over at the other team and said, It depends on who goes up in their pack. Kasey stares at me and says, "YOU THINK IT MATTERS?!?!?!"

Right then the Varsity Brawlers' team captain (who is also one of the hardest hitters in the league) got ejected for penalties. So I grabbed the white jammer helmet cover and said, OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The best part of my Epic Jam (other than keeping the other jammer from scoring by calling off the jam before I could rack up any points myself) was hearing the announcers after I broke out of the pack the first time (jammers gotta get through the pack once, skate a lap to catch up to the pack, and then on their second round they get points), "And jamming for Fight Crew...TARA ARMOV??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!"

It was fun.

The game was fun.


Here's some pix from Rinkrat:

Me watching the rest of my team do the dirty work:

Juana Beat'n sets her sights on Judy Gloom, who is hiding behind my behemoth mass:

Murals in progress:

And the money shot of the evening...Tara jamming.

I got some great comments through the course of the evening, including:

I never noticed the look you get in your eyes when you're about to hit someone. It'd stop ANYONE with any sense!

When you jammed, YOU WERE SO FAST! I didn't know you could skate that fast!

YOU MADE IT THROUGH THE ENTIRE GAME! Did the victory lap feel weird?

It may have been the last game of the season for my team, but it was a victory that we needed, and I think we'll be the Dream Team in the '09 season!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

My Dinner with Adrien

I've been riding a motorcycle for just over ten years.

It used to be the most interesting thing about me, until I started skating roller derby. Somehow that's overshadowed the motorcycles and copious amounts of leather I wear while riding. I'm baffled, too.

The Dear Husband and I have met some amazing people while traveling around near and far...we have friends across the continent and as close as a mile from us. The funny thing about meeting them through motorcycling is that we initially met them over the internet.

One particular group we met through the internet is scattered across southern California, with smatterings in Florida, Arizona and the midwest. We call them "netscum", and we met most of them in Cypress, CA a few months after we got our bikes.

It was at an event that's become a ritual known as "Free Beer". It's a yearly party held at Fred and Cindy's house. When we met them, we didn't know them, and they didn't know us. We sat in their backyard, mainly keeping to ourselves and people-watching while they kinda kept to themselves and mingled. As the evening wore on and the drinking continued, I ended up sitting next to a long-haired individual with a biting wit and a never-ending beer glass. Adrien.

We didn't make a great impression on Adrien. In fact, he disliked us.


He doesn't even remember talking to me at Free Beer, but he does remember us showing up to his house a few weeks later when he had a party. He definitely didn't like either of us after talking with us then.

He continued to dislike us for awhile. We just weren't his people. On the surface, both the DH and I can be jerks. Well, even when you get to know us, we can be jerks. Adrien's surface can be a bit rough, too. So we all tried to get along while bristling a little bit.

Funny thing though...I always liked Adrien, even when he'd rather have his face eaten by piranhas than have to deal with my general idiocy at various social netscum events. And my idiocy knows no bounds.

The following summer after we met the netscum at the first Free Beer, the DH went on a roadtrip to a bbq in Illinois(and what other reason would one go to Illinois other than a weekend bbq?)with some of the netscum. That group was lead by Adrien. Oh boy. This was gonna be interesting for the DH.

Adrien made the dry promise to me of not killing and/or abandoning the DH on the trip. He kept that promise, but it was still a kind of hazing for the DH.

The DH got a lot of grief for not being a morning person in a group of morning people. He got grief for taking forever to put on his raingear when everyone else got suited up right away. He got grief for his fear of tornadoes as they rode towards a few. He got grief for getting his then-long hair stuck in his tent zipper after being told by Adrien's then-girlfriend that he looks better when his hair isn't tied back in a ponytail. He got grief for almost getting run over in the middle of the highway while drunkenly trying to cross it after a night of drinking Everclear(how the entire group survived the trip based on what I heard about that bar-stop boggles my mind).

But a funny thing also happened on that trip. Because the DH essentially rolled with the punches and his knowledge of both practical and esoteric subjects was occasionally helpful, Adrien started to minutely change his opinion of the DH.

As the years went on, and the netscum hung out, lived life, talked a lot, got together, and occasionally even rode together, Adrien stopped disliking us. It was gradual and organic. He soon grew to tolerate us better. An early thawing happened when Adrien and I discovered that we both loved watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and enjoyed watching old movies. Every time we saw Adrien, I'd end up sitting with him discussing film, tv, and art, with an occasional side trip to truly intellectual subjects where Adrien did most of the talking while I tried to follow along. Which no one would expect from a couple of long-haired motorcycle-riding scumbags who also happen to be semi-closet nerds. And it was fun.

A few major life-changing events happened in the netscum group, and some people's character really showed through. Trust was tested, backup was needed, and emotional upheaval was strong, unwieldy and ugly.

That's when Adrien decided that we were his people after all, because neither us nor he buckled under the pressure. These events made all of us a bit more philosophical. He actually likes us now.

And that was a revelation that has benefitted us.

As life went on, we saw the netscum group as a whole less and less, even though we still rode. Some people in the group have left for their own paths, and some people won't leave, no matter what. We mostly still see them at Free Beer over at Fred and Cindy's house every autumn. And so that's when I sit with Adrien, discussing whatever we feel like discussing at the time under the influence of beer and the highly alcoholic contents of what is known as the Ugly Jug(and it's damn ugly some years). That's grown to be my favorite part of Free Beer.

This year was no different. Adrien and I sat and talked about The Dark Knight, Laurel and Hardy, roller derby, our pets, our spouses, new cars, riding, my crapacious job outlook, and Adrien's writing all while I gnawed on some bbq ribs. Adrien commented, I love these conversations! We don't do this enough! True. Thank goodness for email though, right? Yes, we gotta email more often, Adrien replied.

In his most recent email to me, Adrien included a link to a story he wrote that just got put on the interwebs for all to read. I now know that I can meditate after all and figure out how to solve problems. You smart people will enjoy it, even if you've never read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance...I've never read it, but am now tempted to even if I don't understand the whole thing.

It's almost too bad that Free Beer happens but once a year.

Oh, and the above drawing was done as a thank you card for Fred and Cindy for holding Free Beer. I had fun using a brush pen for it.

Friday, October 03, 2008

A First!

Got this email today:

hi i am a big fan of roller derby and i just wondering if it possible to get a signed autograph picture if you can will you please email me back thank you


I think it's impressive that they think that I know how to write!