I've let myself become undisciplined in too many ways for the past two months.
Eating, drinking, drawing, training...I'm a slob. Apparently I should at least bother trying to adhere to a New Year's resolution...I just have to start now. I don't really know why I'm so weak right now, but I gotta stop before I hit an internal brick wall where things would become much worse. Ugh. D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E...I needs it.
I may have a job in June. It seems like a long ways away, but it really isn't. But having that sitting in the back of my mind makes the current freelance I'm working on almost tolerable. I'm working for crap pay and it's almost worth it to have stayed on unemployment insurance. Grrrrr.
I'm hoping that some of my undisciplined ways is due to work or lack thereof...maybe a little bit of stability will get my mind back in the right place for me to be in control of myself again.
I'm trying to change my routine hair-wise...I'm now shampooing my hair every other day, instead of every single day. It's quite a battle, which I didn't expect. Apparently most people don't shampoo every day, but I always have. My hair is oily at the roots but it's Splitendsville at the tips, so I began experimenting with the "no 'poo" routine a few month ago on and off.
SO totally not working for me.
The only way I can stand my hair the days I don't shampoo it is if I put some type of hair product such as mousse in it. But I can still smell my hair, and I disgust myself.
I've read about how other people just power through the greasy backlash stage hair apparently usually goes through when one goes without shampoo. I...just...CAN'T. Especially since I feel the heaviness of my hair and the skin on my face is getting even more oily because of my greasy unshampoo'd hair flopping in my face.
How the hell do people live like this?!
Garden update: my garden is being attacked by bugs. It sucks. Am looking into non-pesticide ways of deterring said bugs.
I'm now more hip than ever to be growing the garden since seeing Food, Inc. on PBS last week. OK, I like eating meat. It's delicious. However, I now truly realize the grotesqueness and downright evil that is factory farming. Factories are great for making cars, but not for making food. Especially meat. It's horrific. And...slaughterhouses wash meat in ammonia to kill e coli bacteria, instead of improving conditions within the slaughterhouses to cut down on e coli. The fuck?!
To be truthful, there wasn't a whole lot in the documentary that shocked me, other than the subsidies that keep corn crops growing, which is fed to cows, chickens and pigs, which are slaughtered horribly, and then sold to fast food chains to keep the food cheap. It's more expensive to eat a non-fast food diet in most of the US because of this setup. And anyone with half a brain wonders why health problems and insurance costs are skyrocketing?
So, in short...less corn subsidies, less eating of fast food factory meat, more eating of green leafy vegetables and one's health will improve. Got it.
But I'll never totally quit going to Johnnie's Pastrami for chili cheese fries after doing my taxes. A fat girl's gotta eat, y'know.