I Think I Need A Vacation...

Ever jolt yourself awake in the middle of the night during a particularly vivid dream?

So have I.

But have you done so because Scott Baio was in said dream?

Until last night, I hadn't.

WTF?!?!??!?!

The dream also included a musical interlude by LA 80's band the Gun Club. 

What does all this mean?

I'm not sure.

Could it be that I'm:

Stressed about this Saturday's derby game?

Stressed about work?

Stressed about rising water and gas prices?

Stressed about losing the remaining Pernicious Passover Pounds(of which I have 3. Which will go back up to 4 or 5 by the weekend due to the mandatory Carb Loading needed for Saturday's game)?

Well the last one may not count, as it didn't stop me from doing what terrifies most women into fetal balls of whimpering fear: BUYING A BATHING SUIT.  I even got something that isn't too hideous.  The Dear Husband rolled his eyes when I showed him what I got, though.  Harrumph.

On a non-stressed note, I'll be doing some more roller derby announcing at the OC Rollergirls Roll for a Cure extravaganza next weekend.  That should be fun!

Also, I've been watching a LOT of old Warner Bros Gangster movies at work lately.  Three box sets, to be exact. I've been torturing the coworkers with tommy gun fire and east coast accents with films such as: Little Caesar, Ladykiller,  the Roaring Twenties, the Petrified Forest, Bullets or Ballots, G Men, A Slight Case of Murder and Brother Orchid.  Now wherever I go, I imitate Edward G. Robinson by saying, "Alright you mugs!" every chance I get. 

I find that people are baffled that I prefer watching old movies. I don't know what the big deal is, as not many contemporary films have anything resembling character, good writing and interesting cinematography. Things that could come in handy in my business...or they should, at any rate. 

The last week on the job of last year's directorial debut by Yours Truly featured Action Boy wandering into my office in absolute shock and amazement when he heard the machine-gun chatter of Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday playing on the dvd player. 

Action Boy: Wow! You're watching His Girl Friday!

Red Diabla: Uh, yeah.

AB: I didn't know you knew about that film.

RD: Cary Grant is one of my favorite actors.

AB: Rosalind Russell ain't so bad, either! But most girls don't watch old stuff like that.

RD: Well, I do.

AB: watches the movie for several minutes. You should watch more Rosalind Russell. She's girly but she's tough. You'd love her.

RD: Yeah, I know.

AB: looks at RD quizzically. You know who she is?

RD: gets the feeling that "I'm a complete moron" is tattoo'd across her forehead. Of course. I'm watching this(points to the tv) aren't I?

AB: Oh. Yeah. Well, you should watch more of this stuff. wanders off...

RD: rolls eyes and goes back to watching the film...

Now that I think about it, Hurricane Ken is the only person offhand who expects me to learn classic movies. And it's not just because he now looks and sounds like Jack Benny, though I'm sure that doesn't hurt. 

Alright you mugs, I gotta get back to work and to watching Ladykiller...again.

I Can Has Drawings?!

Hey LOOK!

I actually managed to turn on my home computer and upload some crap!

WOOHOO!

I was poking around my piles o' paper in the art room earlier this week looking for efx and timing notes from last year's funfest when I found a pile o' drawings that had been taped to my office door while I was experiencing the joys of being a New Director. Here's a small sampling:


I actually don't remember what the hell this was for, but she's kinda hot:





















It looks like it was a birthday card or something. Uh, I wonder if it turned out OK.



My feelings one particular Friday afternoon:






















That didn't happen too often, as I was usually too busy to be bored. Same thing this year...whatever adjectives I could use to describe this year's experience, "boring" wouldn't be anywhere near the top.


I found a bunch of other drawings too, but knowing how ridiculously slow I am about posting new stuff, I'd better parcel it out slowly.

My layoff date is in two weeks. I'm actually happy about it.

Especially now that the weather's turned hot as f&*%^ again...I won't want to travel east of the 405 freeway for anything other than a drinking emergency for the next few months.


But I won't be able to be a beach bum yet...there's still this game:





















VIP's already sold out, and there's less than 200 General Admission tix left. It's gonna be a helluva game.


I still have 7 lbs. of Overweightness to get rid of. Life is conspiring against me by supplying me with friends who serve good food.

Dammit.

Passed Over, Passed Out

Thank gawd Passover only happens once a year.

I say that every year, as does the Dear Husband. Probably most Jews say the same thing too.

However, the DH's family is the only one we know personally who do TWO nights of the Seder. 

For those that don't know, Passover is a telling of how the Jews escaped from Egypt Back in the Day. Most Jews do a 20 minute ceremony hitting the highlights and then get to eating for the evening, cheerfully giving thanks to the Kick@$$ Lord Above for smiting the Egyptians with one helluva Pimp Hand.

Not the DH's family.

They invite too many people to sit comfortably around the table. They do all the prayers. The incredibly off-key singing that sounds like a funeral dirge on quaaludes. The asking, Why is this night different from all other nights? The long retelling with the fuzzy logic math and trickle-down theories on just how many damn plagues hit the Egyptians before they were persuaded to let the Jews run along.

And that's before the food.

It usually takes 30-45 minutes of this stuff before we get to stuffing our faces. The stuffing-of-faces is also ridiculous. 

Hard-boiled eggs, chopped liver, gefilte fish, brisket, turkey, kugel, pickles, mazto,  cranberry sauce, matzo ball soup, veggies that were stock for the matzo ball soup, macaroons, and whatever other desserts that are kosher for Passover pile up on everyone's plates. Diets are not allowed.

Again, all this for TWO DAMN NIGHTS.

The only saving grace for the DH and I is that there's wine involved. Four glasses of wine, to be exact. Most Jews take a dainty sip at each point in the ceremony where they're supposed to drink. Not us. We ride our bicycles over to his parents' house just so that we take FULL advantage of those four glasses of wine. Being buzzed definitely helps us get through the ceremony without much pain. Or cohesion, for that matter.

DH's dad came from a line of men who feel that whatever temple they belong to isn't religiously strict enough, and he maintains that viewpoint with the two-night rule. The alleged original reason a family would have two nights of this ridiculous stuffing-of-faces is for the married children; they'd be able to go to each set of parents' house for Passover. Not applicable to DH and his sister, as they each married non-Jews, so they each show up to their parents' house for both nights.

The real reason?

DH's cooks an obscene amount of food and she wants to make sure we all eat it instead of her. 

Dammit.

However, a new wrinkle and potential savior for us may be in the making...

Usually during the 30-45 minutes of pre-eating ceremony, DH's mom sneaks off to the kitchen to "make sure the food's ready".  DH's bro-in-law caught on to that trick and started going in to "assist" starting about five years ago, leaving the rest of us to ponder the real smiting capabilities of the plagues that hit the Egyptians with DH's dad reciting Hebrew.

This year, DH's dad started bringing the hammer down by demanding that DH's mom and bro-in-law stay in their seats the entire ceremony. That put a damper on their fun (which is fine by the rest of us, since now we're all in the same miserable boat together).

So now DH's mom is saying, I'm not going to do Passover here at the house anymore. I'm eighty-one years old and that's too damn old to keep doing this. You'll have to figure out where you're going to go for the Seder next year. 

I think the natural assumption on DH's mom's part was that the DH's sister would take over Seder duty. 

That's a big negatory on that assumption, apparently.

Our response?

WE'RE OFF THE HOOK!!!!!!!

Which of course is NOT the response DH's parents are looking for. But DH's mom gave DH the recipe for her brisket. It's damn good brisket, too...giving up the recipe means DH's mom is more serious about not doing the Seder than we had previously thought.

Whoa.

She'll probably change her mind by next year, but in the meantime I'm going to dream of not having to strictly diet for a week after the Seder to lose the six damn pounds I've still to shake to get back down to fighting weight.

Seeing family is fine, but the ceremony needs to go.

O Hai!

This week is going better than last.

Work is still busy, but I keep reminding myself that I have only three weeks left and that helps my sanity stay in check.

Whatever sickness I got is still manifesting itself in the form of solid chunks of green ick that I keep hoarking up from my lungs. Taking cough medicine is fine for night time when I need to sleep through the night, but I think I gotta lay off the stuff during the day so that I don't drown. I keep getting headaches from coughing so much. 

Mmmmm, tasty!

Derby drama: a little more calm than last week, though things are gonna be touch-and-go for awhile. I just hope to get in as much skating as I can before my body finally gives out.

Speaking of, the May 3 game against San Diego is gonna sell out. VIP tickets are already gone. 

Another speaking of, LA's gonna host a tournament in late June. Keep your calendars open, 'cos it's gonna be amazing, historic amongst DIY leagues, and just fun as f^&!

Some day I hope to bother to turn on the home computer and scan in some of the doodles I've been scribbling so that this blog isn't so damn boring.

Worst Week Evarrrrrrrrrrrr

In February I posted about having a sh!tty week.

I retract that.

THIS week was a sh!tty week.

OK, actually, in the big picture of life, I shouldn't b!tch. I wasn't in any accidents, my house didn't fall down, my cats haven't been kidnapped to be used in any satanic sacrifices, and the husband hasn't left me for a militant lesbian with a faux-hawk and mustache who would use him to impregnate her with the Anti-Christ.

But I did get sick... again.

Work got flipped upside down and EVERYTHING was redrawn (approximately 800 2-panel storyboard pages) in four days.

I've been flaky about meeting Mudsock and other old friends for lunch because of the sh!tty work schedule.

Derby drama reared its very ugly head and I ended up screaming on the phone to the owner of the league while high on cough syrup and struggling to finish my work drawings.

I had gained 10 pounds in the course of a week and a half due to the stress-eating because of derby and a tense work situation.

This weekend is Passover, so losing that weight isn't gonna happen for another week.

My team captain fractured her shoulder last week. The bad: she's a member of the All-Star team which is scheduled to play our sister league from San Diego on May 3. She now can't play that game due to the fracture.

Guess who's now in?

Little Miss Alternate: ME.

The good? Umm...I don't know, as I'm not happy about the circumstances leading me to be in the game.

However, there are some bright sides:

My current job ends in about three weeks. I can't freakin' wait.

Because of my being sick this week, my body was finally able to get some rest, and is now ready to get punished in preparation for the May 3 game against San Diego.

I have drawings to scan in and build in Illustrator.

And hey, Scooby was found to be part of Roxy Cotton's amazing butt bruise:
















Thanks to Uccellina's Very Busy Husband for the photo!

Tired and Sore

Another game, another loss.

However, I apparently threw enough hits to get some fun responses from non-skating skaters after the game. Something along the lines of, "HOLY F&^&*!!!!!!! YOU WERE PISSED!!!!"

Yeah, I may have been.

As an added bonus, I DIDN'T GET KICKED OUT OF THE GAME.

AT ALL!!!!

Miracles DO happen!


Here's me throwing an illegal-looking block on Laguna Beyatch:
















Doing the hippy-hippy shake:






















Trying to save jammer Crystal Deth from Krissy Krash(or, as some of us call her, "Paula Bunyan"):

Remember how I got thrown out of last month's game against the Sirens before halftime? I deserve it after seeing a photo of the aftermath of the major penalty that got me ejected:


















That's Roxy Cotton's ass five days after I sent her flying.

DAYUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm apparently effective when I want to be.

Cases Online

Remember when I was blathering about the cases I did pin-ups for, and how they weren't available on the company's website for awhile?

Well, NOW THEY ARE!

Check 'em out!

Buy one, or collect the whole set!

Drawdrawdraw

Too busy to make a real post, so here's another update on that freak o' nature: Beavis.