Thursday, October 30, 2008


After a Lost Weekend where I ate, drank, and smoked to excess in honor of Lardo, I'm back on a more normal keel.

Well, normal for me, at any rate.

For once I'm not dressing in something revealing, short-skirted, or in any way slutty for Halloween. Yes, I'm bucking the Hussy Trend by dressing as Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

You can stop laughing now.

The nurse's cap was surprisingly easy to get, once I googled it properly. Attaching it to my head might be tricky.

EDIT: attaching that thing is a BIG pain in the tuchus. It didn't come with instructions on how to attach it, so I googled it. Holy cow. Synching up the hair and the cap is going to be a nightmare for this idiot.

The nurse outfit was harder, and the one I got isn't exact by a long shot, but it's white.

The shoes I'm faking, as real nurse's shoes are fucking expensive.

The hair? Oh gawd, the hair.

I'm barely going to be able to do it, as my bangs are short. But I did find that with enough hair spray and cussing, I'll get a pass if I do what the rockabilly chicks call "victory rolls" in the front. I'm just going to use a curling iron to curl the rest of my hair under in the back.

I should look absolutely retarded.

Unfortunately, the big Halloween party that we've gone to the past couple of years thrown by Rough Draft studios isn't happening this year. Dammit. So we're going to invite some Drunk Scouts over tomorrow night and hand out candy to the kids and play pool in the back room. Should be fun.

Last weekend the Derby Dolls had a Babydoll Brawl, featuring up-and-coming skaters who haven't been placed on teams yet. It was a fun bout. At halftime our new Jr. Derby Dolls took to the track for a 15 minute game. It was PRECIOUS.

Afterwards, I was smoking in the parking lot and one of the Jr. Dolls came up to me and threw her arms around my waist. I'm so glad you saw us skate, Tara! Thanks! she said.

My mind was blown.

First, kids either love me or hate me. No inbetweens. But I still get tripped out when a kid instantly gloms on to me.

Second, I only taught at the Jr. League Summer Bootcamp for one day in July...I tortured them with Tarametrics and taught them some backwards skating tips. But that's all I did. For this future badass to remember me is amazing in my mind.

Third, what must her mom think?!


Ken Mitchroney said...

I was hoping for nurse Higgins from the Tashlin / Lewis film " Disorderly Orderly" but nurse Ratchet will do just fine, Thanks. Welcome back.

Ken Mitchroney said...

Here's the link:

Kathleen Freeman, Every little girls idol.

RedDiabla said...

That clip was just silly!

Little Kenny said...

Ok, 9 minutes later and I totally agree with Tara. That clip was just silly. ;)

Little Kenny said...

ps You're gonna make a great nurse
Wretched. Really.

Bronnie said...

So-- Um --when did you go back to smoking?? And how the hell do you manage to skate, bike and jog without coughing up a lung? I'm jealous.I quit last January and miss it like hell.

RedDiabla said...

I went back to smoking around, let's see...a week and a half ago when I found out about Lardo's terminal status.

Now it's detox time, with Halloween out of the way and all.

Bronnie said...

I'm really sorry about poor Lardo, and I don't blame you a bit for going back, albeit temporarily..I know I'll light up again sometime when the shit hits my fan ..
Came damn close Friday when our show didn't get renewed...

RedDiabla said...

Yeah, heard about the show. But they resurrected it before, there's a slight chance they'll do it again, right?