Thursday, December 25, 2008

Stoopid Storytime

Today the Dear Husband, mi Seestir and I flew to Sacramento to spend Xmas with my parents. Overall it was a good trip...we ate until we were stuffed stoopid and had a good visit, so all is good.

When we were taxiing along the LAX runway before being cleared for takeoff on our flight to Sacto, the DH muttered, Jeez, we're taking the scenic route to Sacramento! Which immediately reminded me of a time Back in the Day when my mom and I would fly from Sacramento to LA when her parents lived in Inglewood in the early '70's.

Insert flashback here:

I was but a small(well, relative to the size I am now. I was a big kid, though. My mom still sighs in exasperation over the memories of trying to lug me around when I was young), annoying child. Usually the stewardesses(that's what they were called back then) would stuff an amazing amount of chalk-like peppermint candy down my gullet to keep me quiet on these repeated flights. I don't know if I was more quiet as a result, but I certainly was fat and happy!

Often, we would share these flights on a regional airline, PSA, with then-California governor Ronald Reagan. Yeah, no sh!t! The plane would stop on the tarmac before pulling up to the gate, he'd get seated on the plane, then the rest of us plebians would shuffle on at the terminal entrance after he was settled in.

Apparently one time when we were walking past him to our seats farther back in the plane, I pointed at him and yelled in my 3-year-old voice, Look Mom! It's a Big Boy! while clutching a Big Bird puppet/doll to my little girl torso. Calling any males "boys" was my thing as a kid. I've been told it came from my dad.

My mom was mortified. Ronald Reagan was amused.

Even though this was a time when plane hijackings were more common(especially to Cuba...why the fuck would anyone want to go to Communist Cuba?!), comments like this from a redheaded three-year old girl with a funny bowl haircut was met with amusement, unlike today, where a child like me who said similar things probably would've been maced in the face on general principle.

But that's not even the story I was gonna tell. Yep, I have moar to type.

One time I remember a plane trip where it was foggy in Sacramento. We managed to take off, but I don't remember taking off, I just remember the plane taxiing on the runway for what seemed like hours.

So my four-year-old mind thought that the plane drove to LA instead of flying.

Did I fall asleep? Was I hopped up on that chalky candy that the stewardesses handed out by the tray to annoying little kids like me?

I dunno, all I thought was that this was an awfully long trip on the ground even though we were in a plane.

So I shared this little story with the DH today while we were taxiing to take off to Sacramento. And as we landed back at LAX in the evening, we did some more major taxiing on the runways back to the terminal, and the DH said, Now I can see why you thought you drove to LA in a plane, this is taking FOREVER.

Yeah, a child's fantasies are certainly more interesting than an adult's reality, are they not?

One last note...I called PSA planes "big birds" because of the smiley faces that the planes had painted on their noses. Anthropomorphizing, I was.

What, that's not normal?!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Mostest Prized Computer Possession

One of my most valuable files on my old computer was my "jpgs" file. Whenever I found something beautiful, horrifying, or inspirational, it was saved in that file.

As I was burning my eyes out doing the file transfer from old computer to new(which I'm still not done with), I almost forgot about the file. Then last night, just as I was dozing off, I jolted myself awake with, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE JPG FILE, DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning I transferred it, with a great sigh of relief.

There's some hysterical stuff in there.

Here's a very, very small sampling. I didn't include the artwork that I've gathered, as I don't have permission from the artists to repost their stuff. Most of the art stuff I've gathered is rad pinup girls, so you're gonna miss out! Photos in my world is fair game, however...

Jean Harlow:

I find her fascinating because she's really kinda funny looking if you get a good gander at her. Yet she was most definitely a beautiful woman. I think her personality shows through, which is what makes her so gorgeous.

This isn't art, so I included it:

Remember Baby Looney Tunes? Yeah, I worked on that. Some would think I should do the world a favor by offing myself for it, but hey, the industry is nothing if not crapacious sometimes.

This particular frame-grab was thrown up onto the web by a very angry Looney Tunes fan who posted it on an animation board screaming about how this show pisses on the old Looney Tunes legacy, etc.

I drew that particular scene, you see. Yep, baby kitty rapping. Oh, the shame!

I also did a scene where a certain young stuttering pig eats ham. That's right. I DID IT.

And it was funny. At least in the storyboard stage. I got some comments on that, oh yes I did.

My reaction? Hey, I helped piss on the old Looney Tunes legacy! Woohoo!

I have to admit, I did stuff on that show that would've made a professional blush.

From the LiveJournal photo feed:

I don't know what's going on here, but it's amusing.

The LJ Photofeed is where I get most of my stuff. It has everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING. From cartoons to pinups to photos of cats to landscapes to museum exhibitions to suicide aftermaths to p0rn. Lots of p0rn. Too much goddam p0rn.

What's really annoying about the p0rn is that the uploads are the same 20 damn photos. Which is baffling to me...a world full o' internets and more than a world full o' porn and people only have the creativity to repost the same threesomes time after time? If I'm going to get grossed out by double penetration, I'd like to see some creativity from the users by using the goddam Google site to get some new material, dammit.

Where was I? Oh yeah, looking at stuff that I LIKE to look at:

Joan Crawford:

Goddam, but she was HOT in the 1930's. I can't say much more than that.

More Live Journal:

Yeah, it's some critter eating that fish's tongue. Ewwwwwwww.

WWII fighter planes:

I found this as I was starting the Fight Crew Death from Above girl-on-a-plane. The plane I ended up practically tracing in Illustrator was a Spitfire.

Huh, now that I think about it, I don't know if I have that particular file anymore...I did some heavy-duty deleting the other day, and that may have been a casualty. Rut-roh!

Moar WWII propaganda:

The drawing itself is interesting, but what got me was the "bag of trouble". Fucking hilarious.

This is from an art exhibit in England:

I guess this breaks my "no posting art" rule, doesn't it?

Damn, but I'm a liar.

For some reason, people got their panties in a bunch over the exhibit. Which I don't understand. I think it's hilarious.

Vintage ad:

I forget whether I grabbed this because of her pose or the fact that it's funny to have a "witch" be a pitchperson for boot polish. Either way, I win for saving it to begin with.

Last and least:


So now I have to hustle to get ready to fly up to NoCal for Xmas. Hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday. I still say "Happy holidays" as I'm still a holiday opportunist. So there.


Monday, December 22, 2008


I'm starting to transfer all the files from my old computer to my brand-spankin' new computer, now that I have a minute to breathe as I wait for my final notes on my latest freelance.

Getting a new computer is super, but transferring, organizing and deleting the 10 metric tons o' files(mostly derby and art related crap) is already making my head hurt and I just started on it this morning.

Of course it's raining, so I can't distract myself with a nice beach skate. Dammit.

And I haven't done much in the way of holiday shopping. Dammit.

And I'm eating too much and have gained about 8 pounds. Dammit.

BUTT, I've been watching cool old movies galore. So there.

Alright, back to making my eyes bleed some more...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Another rainy day.

Fits my mood.

My email screwed up last week and decided to mark everything from my current freelance employer as spam, so I missed the email where they sent me notes on my work. So now I'm two days behind on an already tight schedule. Greeeat.

I ran for craptain of my team for the upcoming season.

And lost.

That makes me sad. And adrift.

I've been feeling a disconnect from the team this past season in particular, but this just puts the cherry on top. I get my body back in fighting shape and my mind goes in a different direction from everyone else. Greeeeeeeeeeat.

I can't wait to see what else harshes my mellow this week.

Monday, December 15, 2008


I'm tired.

Sleeping has been inconsistent at best the past couple of weeks, and it probably won't get back to normal until I'm done with the current crop of freelance. At least now I can almost have a real hiatus from derby; our game last Saturday went really well. I didn't get to play, but I yelled from the sidelines a lot and our team won. Yay!

Here's more derby-related doodles:

Varsity Brawler:

And my favorite team, FIGHT CREW:

Again, I gotta work on all of these so that they don't suck so much. Since it's cold and rainy today, I might get the chance. In the meantime, read up on more Redneck Theater hilarity.

Thursday, December 11, 2008


Sad that Bettie Page died.

At least she had a good run.

In that spirit, I did some team-themed really, really rough doodles:

Tough Cookie:



Oof. Gotta work on all that stuff more.

Moar Beavis silliness of a (thankfully) benign nature here.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ya Get What Ya Pay For...

Thanksgiving weekend I threw my lower back out something fierce. Luckily I was able to pop it back into place, but it took a whole day of hobbling around on crutches and cussing non-stop to be able to get to that point.

Things were fine by my birthday weekend, thank goodness.

This past Saturday morning the Husband mentioned something about him thinking he's getting sick. However, he always thinks he's getting sick, so I didn't pay much attention.

He got sick.

Then on Monday after practice, I noticed that my throat was sore and scratchy.


Tuesday morning I woke up with my ears plugged up, my throat still sore, and now my upper back was in horrible pain.


The back thing is a reoccuring event...the Thanksgiving weekend incident was basically my Yearly Blowing Out My Back Again in November. But the getting sick thing pisses me off, mainly because I went and got a flu shot in mid-November. OK, it was a free flu shot, but I had hoped it would've staved off the thick, cottony monster that's currently residing in my sinuses and ears. No such luck.

Luckily(?!?!) for me, I'm not skating fer shure in the last game of the Derby Dolls season this coming Saturday. In fact, I don't anticipate skating at all, since I'm officially an alternate and the team has its full roster going in.

Which brings me to another tangent...being an on-call alternate sucks. Alternates aren't in the infield during a game, but they're suited up on the outside of the track, ready to go in case a regular player goes out due to injury. So they get to watch the game, but they can't do the other fun thing that one usually does when watching a game...drink. I'm sorry, but watching roller derby when completely sober isn't as much fun as when one has a beer or 24.

And even if a team member goes out during the game, I personally don't think I should be put in.


Because the team has 15 of the best players the league has. Within their normal teams, those players are in at least half the jams during a regular game. During an all-star game, they play less, because everyone's fairly equal skills-wise, so for the most part everyone gets rotated in equally. Which means they don't hit their usual ass-kicking stride, because they're playing less than half the jams.

So if I'm put in, not only do I not get into my ass-kicking groove, but it prevents most of the other players from hitting their respective ass-kicking grooves, too.

Bleh. I'd rather sit and drink from the sidelines.

Then again, maybe it's just the Sudafed talking.

Back to work...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

I Can Has Communist Party?

Birthday banner:

People kept saying I should make a shirt or poster out of that. I don't know if it's economically feasable to do so, as I don't think I'm that popular. But it was fun to do the banner anyway!

Had a fun birthday. Had a fun party. I has some good friends!

Surprisingly one passed out, no furniture was broken, no bottles were thrown, no wrestling, no sharpie tattoos, no phone calls to the cops, no unintentional fires...and I forgot to bring out the birthday cake.

But that's OK. I had a blast, and I hope everyone who showed up did, too!

Check out the birthday edition of Redneck Theater while you're at it!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

I'm Retarded...

I've mentioned before how I've been made fun of for drawing some of my boards horribly off-model, and the latest freelance is no exception.

Here we have an example of what the show I'm currently freelancing on looks like:

And here we have an example of my weird take on their style:

Model sheets? Screw 'em.

I apparently am going to do whatever I want and hope for the best. At least I'm having fun with my drawing shorthand.

Ah, the hilarity.


Over Thanksgiving weekend I stumbled across and became obsessed with the Ovation network's Andy Warhol's Factory People marathon while I recovered from my Annual Throwing Out My Back During November mini-crisis.

When I was in my late teens/early twenties I LOVED Andy Warhol's work. I remember writing a paper for one of my art classes in college comparing the popular impact of Warhol to Raphael in each on their contemporary bretheren. I got an "A" on that mutha, btw.

Then I studied more art and became disillusioned with Warhol and thought he was an opportunist. I still think that, but sometimes being an opportunist is pretty fucking awesome, because having that type of timing is an art in and of itself. It made him bank, that's for damn sure.

Did he get satisfaction from it? Hard to tell.

It seemed that he didn't have much in the way of lifelong look at the biographies of the Factory People and it seems that very few if any lasted longer than a few years before they were gone from Warhol's scene for one reason or another.

I think that's where I get Warhol...I've known some people for a long time but in a way I haven't kept many lifelong friends. That coldness is what I respond to in Warhol's work, for better or worse.

But he managed to create and hold a scene, which is an accomplishment for someone who came across as a helpless nerd. Way to go, Andy! He knew how to pick 'em, gawd bless him:

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

For the Luddites and Old People:

Found this elsewhere and am posting it here...Louis CK on Conan O'Brien:

Enjoy while I workworkwork while listening to Robert Mitchum movies on the DVD player.