Thursday, December 25, 2008

Stoopid Storytime

Today the Dear Husband, mi Seestir and I flew to Sacramento to spend Xmas with my parents. Overall it was a good trip...we ate until we were stuffed stoopid and had a good visit, so all is good.

When we were taxiing along the LAX runway before being cleared for takeoff on our flight to Sacto, the DH muttered, Jeez, we're taking the scenic route to Sacramento! Which immediately reminded me of a time Back in the Day when my mom and I would fly from Sacramento to LA when her parents lived in Inglewood in the early '70's.

Insert flashback here:

I was but a small(well, relative to the size I am now. I was a big kid, though. My mom still sighs in exasperation over the memories of trying to lug me around when I was young), annoying child. Usually the stewardesses(that's what they were called back then) would stuff an amazing amount of chalk-like peppermint candy down my gullet to keep me quiet on these repeated flights. I don't know if I was more quiet as a result, but I certainly was fat and happy!

Often, we would share these flights on a regional airline, PSA, with then-California governor Ronald Reagan. Yeah, no sh!t! The plane would stop on the tarmac before pulling up to the gate, he'd get seated on the plane, then the rest of us plebians would shuffle on at the terminal entrance after he was settled in.

Apparently one time when we were walking past him to our seats farther back in the plane, I pointed at him and yelled in my 3-year-old voice, Look Mom! It's a Big Boy! while clutching a Big Bird puppet/doll to my little girl torso. Calling any males "boys" was my thing as a kid. I've been told it came from my dad.

My mom was mortified. Ronald Reagan was amused.

Even though this was a time when plane hijackings were more common(especially to Cuba...why the fuck would anyone want to go to Communist Cuba?!), comments like this from a redheaded three-year old girl with a funny bowl haircut was met with amusement, unlike today, where a child like me who said similar things probably would've been maced in the face on general principle.

But that's not even the story I was gonna tell. Yep, I have moar to type.

One time I remember a plane trip where it was foggy in Sacramento. We managed to take off, but I don't remember taking off, I just remember the plane taxiing on the runway for what seemed like hours.

So my four-year-old mind thought that the plane drove to LA instead of flying.

Did I fall asleep? Was I hopped up on that chalky candy that the stewardesses handed out by the tray to annoying little kids like me?

I dunno, all I thought was that this was an awfully long trip on the ground even though we were in a plane.

So I shared this little story with the DH today while we were taxiing to take off to Sacramento. And as we landed back at LAX in the evening, we did some more major taxiing on the runways back to the terminal, and the DH said, Now I can see why you thought you drove to LA in a plane, this is taking FOREVER.

Yeah, a child's fantasies are certainly more interesting than an adult's reality, are they not?

One last note...I called PSA planes "big birds" because of the smiley faces that the planes had painted on their noses. Anthropomorphizing, I was.

What, that's not normal?!


Little Kenny said...

PSA. Wow. I'd forgotten about them. I used to fly them from SFO to Ontario when I'd spend the summers with my cousins in Norco and Corona. I remember the stewardesses too. Good times.

As for my previous comment and your response you are absolutely correct.

Ken Mitchroney said...

I expect to be addressed like that from now on. If it's good enough for Reagan it's good enough for me.

RedDiabla said...

LK: I was well-versed in the ways of PSA and Air California when I was a kid. I remember Air California had quite the ugly logo, but the crew was always super nice.

Ken: be careful what you wish for!