Thursday, May 07, 2009

Subtle as a Heart Attack

I'm a complete idiot.

Yeah, yeah, not exactly a newsflash, but here's the latest manifestation of said idiocy...

I ASSumed that the only skating-related folk that read this-here blog are from my league.


How did I find out otherwise? Well...

I took the Fight Crew thank you card I made for Coach Pauly to practice last night to have everyone sign. Captain Janis Choplin said that she's email me Pauly's address so that I could mail the card. Well, she didn't, and I happened to come across Pauly on Facebook this morning(I have a nasty addiction to's stoopid as hell but I'm on there ALL THE TIME...but I digress)and asked him for his mailing address. He then says, "So what's this about some card you made for me?"


Turns out that he has his name wired in to Google so that he knows when people mention him online. I thought I was "safe" since I didn't put in any keywords in my posts. Durrr durrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So I told him to act surprised when he gets the damn card in the mail.

My lack of sneakiness regarding the card made me realize that I've been hanging out with the Dear Husband and his family too much. I call it the Israeli Secret Service. It's based on a comedy routine some standup comedian guy did years ago about how the idea that the Israeli Secret Service could keep anything a secret was ludicrous.

Imagine your average New York Jewish mom or dad at the deli yelling at the counterguy: Is the fish fresh? THE FISH...IS IT FRESH?!?!?!?!

Apply that to a secret operative situation: Is the gun loaded? THE GUN...IS IT LOADED?!?!?!?!?

I've seen this type of thing happen with the DH and his family. The classic situation is when we're going somewhere of Important Social Networking Significance and he'll say to me beforehand, "Let me know if I say something stupid." During the course of the ISNS he'll say something stupid and I'll do the Typical Wife Nudge or Kick Under the Table. What does he do in response? "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Israeli Secret Service.

For the DH's mom's birthday we went to the Olive Garden. DH's sister was talking about...something. I forget what, as I was trying to not pay attention. My sister started texting me in the middle of the droning. Now, my sister is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME at the table. DH's sister is sitting across from us. We continue to text back and forth for a good 20 minutes before DH's sister figures out that something's up. "ARE YOU TEXTING ABOUT ME?!?!" she finally asks.

Of course not! we reply.

Yes, we lied.

Yep, Israeli Secret Service.

OK, let's look at some drawings, shall we?

I like this drawing. I'm afraid to clean it up, because I know I'll overwork it until it sucks so much ass, all I'll see is a sphincter:

A drawing that was based on one of my jammer photos. I was trying for an upshot angle on her. I'm not getting the feets very well:

A drawing based off looking at some flat track skaters. She's pretty badass, and I hope something comes of her. I tried doing a version where she's cleaned up and looks kinda comic book-y in style. It's...ok. Not fabulous. Not as good as this:

I always like my ruffruffruff drawings way better than my cleanup drawings. Argh. But I'm going to try to do something with this stuff. 'Cos I gotta do something in my life besides worry about where the next job is coming from!


troy said...

Don't worry about overworking that drawing during cleanup. Remember, always start loose with the sphincter and work out from there.

God bless Preston Blair.

Ken Mitchroney said...

I love, love, love the first sketch. Not only is it a VERY COOL pose but the girl looks like Barbara Edan.

RedDiabla said...

Barbara Eden?! Didn't even notice that, but it kinda does look like her!

Cagey said...

Don't forget to draw the NSOs standing around with clipboards!