Monday, May 25, 2009


Today is another post about FAIL.

I'm failing this weekend.

I'm still sick. This whateveritis that's been going around is kicking my ass. In a subtle manner. My ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton and I have a cough that gives me a constant headache. NOT FUN.

Fight Crew skated flat track in Bakersfield Saturday night. We were winning, then we lost. Not because we screwed up. Let's just say that I appreciate my league's refs a lot. I just hope that the rest of my team now appreciates them too. And yes, I skated while sick. And no, I didn't get kicked out of the game for penalties. Broadzilla did, though. Ha ha!

The afterparty failed, too. I was hanging out with the Tuscon Roller Derby's Iron Curtain (of course I LOVE this team...Soviet themes unite!!) in a dive bar across the street from the game venue when some little wannabee gangbanger did a drive-by boob grab on one of the Tuscon girls. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! She turned to me and said incredulously, Did that guy just grab my boob??! I stared at him and said, Yep. She just looked shocked. The twerp who did it was about to do it again to another group when I turned to his targets and said, THAT GUY IS BEING A DOUCHEBAG!!! HE JUST GRABBED SOMEONE'S BOOB! Then I turned to the Dear Husband and said, LET'S GO. NOW. We left abruptly. So did the Tuscon girls, leaving the rest of Fight Crew in our wake, wondering what the hell I was ranting about, since they didn't see the boob-grabbing incident happen.

We found out the next morning that after we left, one of my teammates had her purse stolen at the bar. The idiot who did it was lurking around, so he got confronted by the husband of one of my other teammates. Then the cops got called. To the credit of the local constabulary, they had a car there in about 2 minutes, and found my teammate's cash on the suspect, and found her credit cards and purse in a trash can. The only thing she actually lost was her phone, which is minor in comparison to the credit cards, etc.

A sideline of suck about this was that another league asked our league to play them on the same night as our game. That split attention and energy between the two games, and basically Fight Crew lost on that too. When the other teams have skated their flat track games, they got a LOT of support from the league in the form of fans at the game, mucho promotion for their game, encouraging emails, etc. Fight Crew? Not so much. Guess who's gonna ask that this kind of scheduling never happens again?!

In other fail...I have a buttload of work to do, and haven't been able to do much of it because of the aforementioned ick. This week is going to be ugly work-wise to catch up.

There's a buttload of housework to do. Guess who hasn't done it because of the buttload of work that's piling up? Yeah, FAIL.

Play me off, keyboard cat:

Here's a couple of pix from the Big One. Did I mention that LADD took third place out of eight leagues that played? Which is pretty good considering that we were seeded seventh and had no idea what the hell we were doing.

Me doing something fun to one of the Sacred City girls:

Me and Boss Hogg, who is one of derby's favorite photographers. He has EXCELLENT tastes in wardrobe:

I look crazed, as usual.

This morning has been a win/fail combo plate.

I've complained here and elsewhere about the hypershit dog next door who usually starts barking around 6:30 in the fucking a.m. which is an hour and a half before I usually wake up. Which means I have to nap in the afternoon or else I'll be a complete pile of FAIL for the rest of the day.

Now, it's not that I hate dogs. I don't. But they are in the same category as children. They need a lot of love and attention, and are usually the most charming to their owners, not everyone else. Hence, I don't have a dog or a child. I'm not only thinking of myself, I'm thinking of all of YOU, my dears. Thank me for it.

Anyway, the hypershit dog next door did his thing this morning. Of course, with me being sick, this just adds to the pile of FAIL I'm in the midst of experiencing. In the past, I've gone out to the back yard and yelled at the damn dog until the neighbors gather the little beast and take him inside. There's been a couple of occasions when he started in the middle of the night where I put on my bathrobe and stomped next door to pound on their front door. The dogs inside would start barking, but the neighbor wouldn't answer the door. Go figure.

Today I put on the bathrobe over my skeleton jammies(no, I'm not kidding)and stomped over in bare feet to the neighbors and pounded on the door. The neighbor lady actually came to the door and started apologizing profusely, saying that she brings the dog in as soon as he starts barking. I had to explain to her that a) waiting until he starts barking is already too late and b)it's consistently happening enough where it's really disturbing and having it happen so early is JUST NOT COOL.

I also told her that if it keeps happening, she's going to fix me some breakfast.

I think that'll stop the damn dog from waking me up in the future.

I hope.

Alright, back to work. Ugh.


Little Kenny said...

That was one hell of a long post. Heh. Sorry I didn't make it to B-field, but the announcement that you guys would be up there was just too short. Saw the score. Oh well.

Heh, txt me when the neighbor has to make you breakfast, I'll join you. :D


Cagey said...

I like to imagine you also wearing curlers with the robe.

RedDiabla said...

Dream on, Little Dreamer.

Ken Mitchroney said...

Man. And i was just bummed because i couldn't go home.And tell Russel to keep his hands to himself when at the after party. Come t0 think of it keeping his hands to himself just gave me a horrible image in my head. FAIL! FAIL!! FAIL!!!!

Fail better soon lady, uh,... Feel better soon and we will see you June 27th.

RedDiabla said...

Ken: I'm sick enough already. NOW CUT THAT OUT!!!