Where Did I Go Wrong?

Yes, another rant. Ignore at will.



I feel that I've messed up my psyche, my groove, my ability to move forward and get sh!t done.

There's the job situation, which has thrown me for quite a loop. There isn't a whole lot going on out in the industry right now, so I'm in a tight spot. I was apparently counting on that September job toooooo much. Dammit!


So I should be working on my own stuff, right? RIGHT.


Except that I'm feeling creatively bankrupt.

What the hell am I gonna work on?

More stoopid toilet seats? I haven't even wanted to paint one for almost two years now.

Pin-up stuff? I guess I should do that, but damn, how many talented pin-up artists are out there that I'm going to go up against? To say it's an overcrowded niche is putting it mildly.

A pitch for a tv series? Um, I have no agent, and therefore no "in" at the studios. And hey, what venues do I even have available? Cartoon Network is going live-action for boys. Warners sold their Saturday morning programming out and isn't doing any in-house stuff anymore. Sony is only doing Spider Man. Nickelodeon? Not likely, based on my track record of even trying to work there. Disney? I'm so NOT Disney, it's obscene.


Roller derby art? I've been thinking on that. T-shirts with my drawings don't really sell well. The shirts that sell the most are just simple slogan-y type of stuff. Again, a market that's becoming well covered. Art prints? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA. Um, no.


I gotta think of something to do.

*sigh*


Oh, and I'm now not a fan of the roller derby movie currently in production. Why?

Because they aren't using any of the posters, stickers, etc. that I sent them as background stuff in the film.

I can take not being used as a skater in the film due to my oh-so-advanced age.

I can take not being used as a trainer in the film due to my harsh Full Metal Jacket Gunnery Sergeant Hartman-esque training techniques.

I can NOT take not having my artwork in the film. I don't know why those jerkfaces aren't using my stuff, but it's not because my stuff sucks so much more @$$ than other league's posters, stickers, etc. I'm assuming there's some sort of politics behind it, but I don't know what those politics are. DAMMIT.

That means there's little to no LA Derby Dolls representation on that front in the film. DAMMIT.

As a skater for the LA Derby Dolls I'm still going to be supportive of the film. But as an individual and an artist I say,

That film can SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ahhhhh, that felt great to type.



The below photo is posted because even though I look like a total jack@$$, looking at said photo makes me happy. Ah, Rollercon!


















FINALLY saw The Dark Knight today. I agree with most reviews: great movie, but went on too damn long. Tried to squash in two and a half movie plots into one film. Still, I enjoyed it highly. Makes me mad that Heath Ledger couldn't handle his drug use 'cos he was damn good. Sad.


I think I'm done whining for the moment. But I do hope my situation improves sooner than later. I hate being such a drain.