Sunday, October 09, 2005

Pet Peeve

You want to know my biggest pet peeve these days? The one thing that'll drive me to reach over and pull someone's intestines out through their nose, wrap said intestines around their skulls, squeeze until their jaws pop and then use them as bait for French sharks?

Lip-smacking. Especially while one is chewing gum.

When I was a kid my mom wouldn't let me chew gum. She never said specifically why, she just wouldn't let me do it. Now I understand. If I have to hear someone's lips and tongue smack against the insides of their mouths for more than two seconds I'm ready to kill. Seriously. For fawk's sake, leave the cud-chewing for the privacy of your car or home.

Lucky me, my husband is always incessantly chewing gum. Next time you see him, you'd better be nice to him, for it may be the last time you see him with his intestines on the inside.

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