Your Phone's Off the Hook...

...but you're not.

I'm in procrastination mode today. More than usual. I have to kinda-sorta organize the house before the weekend and of course I haven't done a damned thing about it yet.

It's too cold to continue clear-coating the toilet seat I painted. Grrrr. So here are the other views of the mermaid seat from long ago. Click on the thumbnails to see a bigger image of each:






I called my team today to remind them of a team meeting planned for this evening. Out of nine girls I got to talk to just one of them. The rest had voicemail. For some reason this amuses me.

At practice on Monday I landed on my knees during a Big Dog exercise. They still hurt, which compromises my going to practice in San Diego tomorrow. I'll probably end up going anyway, though. I need the practice.

I'm trying to get ready to donate platelets next week. I used to give blood all the time, but the iron levels in my blood are always on the border between being able to donate or not. Apparently I'm almost anemic. Funny thing is, my iron levels have actually been lower since I came back from Texas as a carnivore, which goes against common thought that red meat is good for iron. Spinach is supposed to help iron levels too, and I eat that twice a week usually. Apparently that only works if it's combined with bread. I love bread but it bloats me up like crazy so I eat it sparingly compared to what I used to be able to put away in my fat 20's. Now I have to really work at being able to give blood and/or platelets. If I fail the iron test next week I'm just giving up totally. I refuse to be bloated just so I can give blood, dammit. Platelets is more creepy than just giving blood anyway.

You get hooked up to this machine with both arms. They take the blood out of one arm, pass it through the machine to gather the platelets, and the blood goes back in through the other arm. It takes about 2 hours to gather all the platelets they need. In that time you can get desperately cold and kinda light-headed because the blood passing through the machine gets cooled down before it goes back into your veins, and they add a blood thinner so that the points of exit and entry in your arms don't coagulate shut. It's kinda icky. The last time I did it I watched Igby Goes Down on their DVD player while I froze to death. Nosir, I didn't like it. Why am I trying it again? Because I'm a Good Citizen. Or I'm just tired of the Red Cross calling me all the time for donations. Maybe if I fail enough iron tests they'll leave me alone. Hasn't happened yet, but I can dream.

Alright, I'm off to go procrastinate about something else now.

Me and My Chartreuse Loveliness Tomorrow Night

A lotta cut-n-paste for this advertisement:


Look! We're standing with Gary Sinise and Melina Katrakorov-koo-koo-ka-choo!


The all female L.A. Derby Dolls are skating the banked track on the next episode the popular CBS television series CSI-New York on Wednesday, November 30. Broadcast time is 10:00 pm Eastern and Pacific/9:00 pm Central.Five members of the L.A. Derby Dolls put Lou Sanchez's banked roller derby track to good use as they skate roller derby for the CBS television cameras.Skaters participating are RedJenn, Mauly Hatchett, Dita Slayworth, Frida Fondle, and Tara Armov, who become part of the fictional Manhattan Minx roller derby squad.


About the episode:CSI - New York's sweeps period ends with the episode "Jamalot." The episode takes us to Manhattan's only all-female roller derby league, Big Apple Roller Derby, where the Manhattan Minx team is about the square off with the Brooklyn Clobbers. Twenty-two-year-old Rose, who goes by the name, "She Hate Me", is one of the best players on the Manhattan Minx team. But the Brooklyn Clobbers are proving to be a worthy adversary, and as the girls skate around the floorboards, smashing each other mercilessly, Rose goes down hard. Her coach, Ryan Chisholm, rushes towards her, and though Rose complains of bring in too much pain to keep going, the coach sends her back into the floorboard, proving to be a regrettable move - especially when the next smashing proves to be Rose's last one. This sounds like a case for Mac and Stella!


The L.A. Derby Dolls are hosting a special screening of the CSI - New York roller derby themed "Jamalot" episode at the Knitting Factory in Hollywood, California. Doors open at 9:00 pm, and the show starts at 10:00 pm local Hollywood time. It's a free event, so the L.A. Derby Dolls want you to bring your friends. The Knitting Factory is located at 7021 Hollywood Boulevard.


And as an added bonus...a rant.

Who the hell still writes checks out in the world anymore?!?!?!?! I had to stop at the local SavOn for some banana rum(jello shots...mmmmmm)and got stuck behind not one, but two idiot women who wrote checks and were conversational gits. I was waiting in line longer than I was wandering around the store looking for what I needed. I was annoyed. Verily. I almost threw the bottle of rum down onto the ground and stomped out. Seriously. What stopped me was sheer laziness on my part, as I didn't want to go riding around looking for another freakin' SavOn to frequent when I have stuff like writing blogs and websurfing to do. Hell, I'd probably run into another twenty or so stoopid women who haven't discovered the joys of a damn debit card and get stuck in line behind those idiots, too.

Rant over. Carry on.

A Case of the Mondays

I'm not feeling very inspired to write anything mildly entertaining, much less witty today. I'm just tired mentally and physically. Which I have no right to be, considering my astonishing laziness over the weekend. I ate a LOT of food and slept an insane amount. I need to discipline myself for the month, what with all the parties and other hollerday stuff going on.

Last Friday I finally went down to the Fashion District with my co-captain Myna Threat and checked out Santee Alley. We were on the hunt for Xmas gifts for my team. For cheep stuff of the latest fads and fashions, Santee Alley's the place. After about seven booths everything started looking the same to me. Same bling-bling, ugly skirts, and pirated DVD's. However, our mission was accomplished and I'm finishing up the gifts for the team. I picked up a belt with my skate name on it for $12. A BARGAIN! Myna got some belts and buckles and actually did some useful holiday shopping for her family. Afterwards we went for some dim sum. Apparently the only time she has dim sum is when I drag her to it...her husband apparently doesn't like it, or doesn't understand the concept. Either way, I win.

From Chicken to Turkey

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I'm thankful for a lot of stuff...mainly that I wasn't in need of FEMA assitance. Lourdy, wotta clusterf&(* that still is. I'm also thankful that my family's doing well, the huband's still here, my health is OK, and that I have roller derby to take out my aggression on.

Today was a fun and funny day. Before heading on down to Torrance for BBQ turkey at the sister-in-law's pad, I decided to make a preemptive strike on the scale tomorrow by getting a bicycle ride to the Santa Monica stairs in so that I don't feel so guilty when I pig out. I went, climbed up and down the stairs three times, and rode towards home.

On Ocean Blvd. I saw a motorcycle coming in the opposite direction, and it turned out to be our good friend PB. I yelled at him, but he didn't notice me and turned onto a side street. I decided to try and catch up to him. On the bicycle. While he's on a motorcycle. Good plan, jeenious! PB turns another corner and I actually manage to make up some lost ground because he was going at a leisurely pace while I was hauling ass. At the next stop light I pull up next to him. He glances over at me with no recognition and utter disdain just as the light turns green. Dammit! He takes off. I follow. On the bicycle. While he's on a motorcycle. What the hell is wrong with me?!

The next block finds him stopped at another red light. Same thing happens--just as I get to him, the light turns green and he takes off. That happened two or three times going up Second St. in Santa Monica. I noticed that PB was looking in his rearview mirror at me, but still with absolutely no recognition that he actually knows this nutbar who's trying to catch up to him. I was even laughing very loudly and he didn't recognize that, either. Finally he shook me, so I pulled over and called his wife, MB, who happens to be one of my favoritest people ever.

I relayed the story to her between gasps of air, and she laughed. Apparently PB doesn't find cyclists endearing, so it's no wonder that he dissed my ride. That just made the whole experience even more funny to me. She promised to give him a ration of crap for me. Pwned!!!!!!!


Dinner at the sister-in-law's later in the afternoon was entertaining. Every year the niece(S) and nephew-in-law(A) are in attendance, and every year I torture the little buggers. S is around ten years old, A is around eight. Perfect for flinging up in the air, swinging around, lifting them by their ankles and shaking vigorously, tickling mercilessly, and threatening to throw them down the stairs.

They love being threatened with being thrown down the stairs.

For the first hour that I was there they virtually ignored me. But then, they got bored. For the rest of the time that we were there, I riled them up into a frenzy. Both S and A are pretty smart, but they also apparently don't get rough-housed enough. I thought I could tire them out. Not so. They used me as a human jungle gym. I got a helluva workout. I hope. I ate an obscene amount of food to compensate, so we'll see.

By the time we left, the kids were still going strong and tried to physically stop us from going. The husband lifted them up and gently bonked their heads on the ceiling to dissuade them. They loved that almost as much as being threatened with being thrown down the stairs. As we left the house and walked to our car parked down the block, we were able to hear A's screams of anger and frustration at our departure. And people wonder why I don't have kids!


I'm exhausted.

I am a BIG chicken

Today I managed one step closer to being done on the new terlit seat. Another round or two of clearcoating and it's done. Woohoo! I also managed to work with the flyer departme--I mean, art department of the derby league to get some loose ends tied up for some stuff that needed doing...mainly the league holiday card. Yeah, baby! Then the husband and I managed to get out of the house and do a little shopping before the stores got too crazy. Coolio!

On the way home we stopped at a local bar/pub for something to eat. We go in, sit down, and I notice almost immediately that at the next table is someone I kinda/sorta know from the animation industry. It's one of those things where I've seen this guy around for years, but we've never worked together. I even interviewed for a story position on a show that he was directing, but didn't get the job. He'd passed over me for work before that, too. I think it's because I'm not cool enough.

I hate it when that happens.

Or my unhireability(is that even a real word?) with some people probably lies in the fact that I look like this:


Yes, I even carry a sign with me at all times saying that I'm the Dog-Faced Girl. No, really! I know that I annoy my animation friends when they try to help me out with the job stuff. They'll say, "You should give so-and-so a call, I hear they're hiring." and I'll say, "I can't...they hate me."

"How do you know they hate you? What'd you do?"

"Nothing. I just know they hate me. Everyone hates me."

"I don't hate you and I'd hire you if I could."

"Yeah, but you don't scare easily. I have a big mouth and people don't like that."

"Ah. Good point."

Anyway, this guy...we'll call him "Tim" because that's his name...notices that I'm there. He doesn't smile or nod or anything. Neither do I. It's a weird kind of standoff. He's with a couple other guys talking about gawd knows what but at one point I do decipher them discussing Bloom County. The husband asks me if I'm going to go up to Tim and say something, anything, just to poke fun at the situation. Yeah, I should!

So I wait for the right moment to do so. And wait. And wait. And wait.

Then I finally have to admit to myself that I'm chickening out. I should've just called over, "Hey Tim! You still at Disney or what?" just to see if he'd freak, be cool, or ignore me. But I didn't. Shaaaaaaaame on me. So we left much as we came in...ignoring everyone in the place. Dammit.
Bok-bok-bok! I'm a chicken! That roller derby stuff hasn't totally erased my spineless wonderment. Hopefully I'll do better at the Animation Guild Hollerday Party in two weeks.


This week I finally dug out an old terlit seat I painted. Here's the lid:


A little too repulsively cute, isn't it?

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

After a busy day of having lunch with my Cute Friend Becca(mmmm, ChinChin chinese chicken salad!), making phone calls about my unemployed status, making more phone calls about the holiday card the derby league needs to come up with, starting the clearcoating process on the latest painted toilet seat, having a captain's meeting in freakin' Eagle Rock in the evening during freakin' rush hour, mailing out the car insurance bill, cleaning up after the poopy cats, watching a car thief get shot on live tv and going shopping for Thanksgiving pies at Costco, I decided to take a little late night online trip to Ebay land.

I haven't bought a lot of stuff off of Ebay. The husband has. He loves it. It's an evil place for me, 'cos there' s just so much cool stuff! Droooooool. I'm not even much of a shopper, but Ebay brings out the worst in me. I made the mistake of typing in "Aeroflot" to see what kind of Soviet airline goodies I could get from this great big blue marble we float around on. Alllllllll kinds of stuff, apparently. Hat pins, lots o' huge-sized t-shirts, a ridiculous amount of 1/10000000000 models, the occasional luggage sticker, and safety brochures. And then, the jackpot. Aeroflot flight bags:


The only reason I didn't order this baby(straight from Thailand or Singapore or someplace like that)is because of the ugly green color. It's also available in an ugly beige color. No beautiful red or black, unfortunately for me, but the household Paypal account is breathing a sigh of relief.

However, the ol' credit card might be able to afford this sucker:



That'd look good on a thick, studded wristband, methinks. Yes, I'm being totally selfish, but I'll get over it soon enough.

While I'm obsessed with myself for the moment, I'm also wanting a new light for my bicycle. Maybe a horn and a bell for the damn thing, too. That'd come in handy for night riding down Santa Monica Blvd. in construction zones where I almost get killed repeatedly. Rock on!

Turning in on Myself

Today's been a day of introspection.

Alright, you can stop laughing now.

One of the derby girls is starting a Legs McNeil-esque compilation of interviews with a select set of rollergirls from leagues all across the country. She's sent out a questionnaire of about 20 questions for those proud few to answer--should they choose to take on this dangerous task. This isn't for a book deal, this is for us, before the whole DIY derby scene becomes mainstream and sterilized. I'm lucky enough to have received the questionnaire, and in some ways I'm really stumped on how to answer some of the questions. Sometimes I feel like I'm presenting a public-relations story. But then I don't want to come off as bitter and gossipy about some aspects of my experiences. Then yet again I don't know why I'm finding it so difficult to answer questions of why I went ahead with the derby thing. It just seemed to be the thing to do at the time. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. But is it that simple? Is that why I've put my career in the shitter and my motorcycles are mouldering away in the garage and my husband and cats feel neglected? Is that why I feel that I'm stronger than I've ever been both physically and mentally and that I finally feel like I'm doing something with my life with other people who I thought didn't exist because I didn't think anyone else had my same outlook on life?

In fine art one is supposed to be able to explain why they did what they did art-wise. I can't do that with my art, either. Am I a failure?

See? That's pretty damn introspective for the likes of me, the original Keep It Simple, Stupid girl.

I wish I were more witty with this stuff. More clever. It'd be handy to be a real raconteur for this. No such luck, I'm afraid.

I did finish painting the latest toilet seat. Clearcoating shall begin soonly.

That Time of Year...

It's that time of year when everyone gets sick. Yesterday when I was at our weekly Saturday Morning Scrimmage I witnessed one of my teamates get sick with some sort of mucous-y funfest in the space of about a half hour.

Then I noticed that people around me were all sniffly, and I myself got a little plugged in the nose by the end of the day. I think in my case it's allergies, as today I feel fine. Either that, or the zinc I take every day actually works.

Last night the husbitch and I went to a screening of indy animated films and a panel with the films' creators put on by the Animation Co-op. I feared that this would be an evening of tedium, as screenings + panels = absolute boredom. I was right about the panel, unfortunately. The husbitch and I reached a new low by getting into a fight on paper during the panel...we were angrily scribbling notes back and forth at each other about how much the panel sucked. He wanted to stick around until the end so that he could talk with a couple of people there, while I wanted to leave with my sanity somewhat intact. He "won". I doodled. We noticed that the people whose films we liked the least talked the most. Endlessly. About stuff we really didn't care about. For a looooong time. Next time we're taking separate transportation so that I can dramatically leave in a huff when I get horrendously bored.

Today I might be able to finish painting on the drunk-puking-skeleton-monkey toilet seat I've been working on. If the weather holds I'll be able to clearcoat it soonly. Yay!

TGIF

Yeah, really profound, but for once I'm feelin' it.

I haven't done anything really useful art-wise for the past two days. I suck. So look at the above stoopid doodle and wonder no more as to why I'm an unemployed git.

And now for something completely different...

Click on the pic to see a bigger view. In fact, on alllll the pix and photos on this site, that's applicable.


Hey, how 'bout that...an actual drawing! Who knew?! Obviously "Sexy Beast"-inspired.

I'm working on a shirt design that features Bigfoot playing bagpipes sitting under a redwood tree. I thought it would be easy, but it's churning in my head waaaayyyy more than I thought it would. I have to get off my fat ass and get a rough done this week.

Another toilet seat is in the works. This is the first one I've done in almost a year. It's not for anyone in particular, it's just something I'm doing. If you like barfing skeleton monkeys, then you're gonna love what I'm doing.

A couple of months ago I painted skeleton critters on my switchplates in my bathroom. I have a general Day of the Dead/skeleton thing going on and the plates now reflect that. I may do more of that type of work just for fecal matter and giggles.

Must...do...more...drawings...

More Pix

Here's some more pix from Saturday's bout:




Lucy Ball-breaker in the foreground, Kasey Bomber and myself in the infield. Damned if I know what's going on here.



Me on the left waiting for jammer-in-the-white-helmet Bonnie D. Stroir to come up and into range. Behind her in the other white helmet is the jammer for my team, Tawdry Tempest.




Juana Beat'n getting a whip from moi before the game. She's fookin' BADASS.




Another shot of my team. From left to right: partially cut-off is Militia Etheridge, you can almost see Lucy Ball-breaker behind my right shoulder, me and my big fat mouth, Kasey Bomber, Jihad, and Tawdry Tempest.

Recipe

Here's a GREAT way to spend a Saturday. Take one event, such as the West Coast Choppers 10th Annual No Love Ride. Add Lucha Libre, a bunch of mostly cool bands, some vintage cars. Then add a banked track and the LA Derby Dolls:




Briskly scoop in two hot scorecard girls:




Gently fold in a huge crowd:



And have yourself a roller derby match. Sorry, no pix of the actual game, as all of these photos were taken by the husbitch, and he was too busy being referee during the game to actually pull out the camera. I know there are other pix out there, I just haven't seen them yet. Early estimates say we had about 500 people watching us skate. Dayum!

My team, the Pink Tuscaderos, went up against the Rolling Blackouts. The original idea was that one team wear pink shirts while the other team wears black, hence the color references in the team names. However, the black shirts were changed to white, so the Rolling Blackouts were more like the Rolling Whiteouts. At least everyone was miserable with the shirt color choices.

Anyway, the Tuscaderos started out immediately by falling behind point-wise for about 3-4 jams. Rut-roh! The coach was worried, the crowd didn't care, and I had to repeatedly tell my team what we all were doing wrong. Suddenly, we clicked together and came back from a 19-point deficit(or something like that)and slowly but surely kept skating on until we came within 3 points of tying the score by the end of the bout. Frankly, it should've been a tie, as there was a jam where the Blackouts didn't have a jammer helmet on their jammer, hence my team had a really hard time keeping track of whom they were supposed to block out, so they ended up with 3 more points. Grrr.

My team was amazing. The other team was strong. I had fun and I'm really proud of the girls I skated with. I'm bruised as all get-out and sore as hell. I'm happy!

The crowd wasn't the typical biker bunch, though bikers were certainly in attendance. It was really a gearhead crowd, with a huge emphasis on cars instead of motorcycles. A fantastic target audience for roller derby, as we're combining two favorite things for gearheads: wheels and girls! The organizer for No Love said that we were the biggest attraction of the day!


After the bout we got to wander around for the rest of the day and hang out in the VIP area. Some girls saw Jesse James signing autographs and wanted him to sign their skate shirts, but alas, the line was too long. He didn't see all of our bout, but it was said that he watched our warm-ups from the top of a neighboring warehouse. His wife, Sandra Bullock, came by our merch booth while we were still setting everything up before the event opened to the public and bought a Rolling Blackouts shirt. Not to be confused with the Rolling Blackouts team that played that day, btw.

The bands that started the day SUCKED. Speed-metal type crap that no one there liked. As the day went on, the bands got better. The Adolescents played(in fact, they refused to play while our game was going on; they played about a half hour after we finished), as did Manic Hispanic. I definitely want to see Manic Hispanic again...they went on just before our bout, so I was busy gearing up while they played. Ah, someday...

There was a big special-secret-musical guest that was supposed to play. The rumors were flying. Who was it? Danzig. But not just the little man, it's the little man and Doyle from the Misfits. No, not those Misfits, these Misfits.

To be honest, I was never a huge Misfits fan and never understood the fanatical following the band has. However, seeing some Misfits songs belted out live sure made me realize that hey, they didn't really suck so bad.


This is Doyle. For an old guy, he was fookin' amazing!


Danzig trying to make Doyle smell his sweaty armpit. Ewwww.

They played classic Misfits tracks such as 20 Eyes, Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight? and Die Die My Darling. Good schtuff that I now realize that all those songs were definitely part of the background in the soundtrack of my life in high school. As soon as Doyle left the stage and it was back to just Danzig, we left.

We topped off the day with a small birthday celebration for Tough Cookies captain and Rolling Blackouts co-captain Suzy Snakeyes. We all ate ice cream in a bar in Los Feliz. Yum!

Today I need a hot bath and a little bit of quiet.

ARRRRRGH!(No, I'm not a pirate)

Just when I thought things couldn't get more hectic...they do anyway. The doodle above mirrors my current mood.

Prepping for the No Love bout tomorrow is going freakin' INSANE. I've been getting up early, staying awake late, and been busy running around doing errands, moving the banked track, answering phone calls and emails as if I'm actually someone who's responsible for stuff or something. What up with that?!

Tonight I'm having dinner with some of my teamates at my favorite Italian restaurant, Alejo's. This place is the shit. It's Mecca for garlic-lovers such as myself, and the food is cheep and delicious. I've gotten the Fight Crew hooked on it, as well as some other friends. It's my only saving grace right now.

I'm tired. I think I'm going to try to take a nap before cleaning the house in earnest for tonight's funfest. I hope we get a good crowd tomorrow for our bout! Manic Hispanic and the Adolescents are playing at No Love...dayum! That should be fun!

Did I mention...

...that the Derby Dolls are skating this Saturday? In Long Beach? At the West Coast Choppers 10th Annual No Love party? Yes? No? Kinda?

I'm mentioning it now.

The stress level goes up like corruption charges in the Bush administration with events like this.

I'm captaining an all-star team calling themselves the Pink Tuscaderos. The other all-star team are calling themselves the Rolling Blackouts. Team rosters, strategies, determining the strengths and weaknesses of each team all take a back seat to the truly important matters of the day, such as which team has to wear pink while the other wears black. Team names also take up a stoopid amount of discussion time that could be spent doing something useful. I hate stuff like this. I just want to skate on the banked track. I want to deal with an absolute minimal amount of crap to do so. This whole "responsible captain" thing is a drag when that's all I want to do.

Another fun aspect to this is dealing with girls who think they should be skating this game when they haven't been showing up to practice in anything resembling a consistent manner. Each of the usual Derby Doll teams has had at least one or two girls that are protesting the No Love team rosters because they're not on 'em. Nevermind that they've been around as much as voters are flocking to the polling places for today's Special Election. Grrrrrrr.

And to top it all off, I have to skate easy this week because I'm on the verge of blowing my knees out from falling too much on them while skating on concrete. Good times. NOT!

In the meantime, every job lead I'm hearing about doesn't start until the New Year. "Happy holidays" while I'm broke, indeed.

Have I kvetched enough?

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum,

...That booty won't stop, Girl!

That's the phrase that's been stuck in my head since Friday night, as we went to Found magazine's presentation in Los Feliz. For those geeks who are computing away on a Sunday in LA, check 'em out tonight at Bang Studios on Fairfax. It's FUN and funny. You'll hear notes, love letters, hate letters, lists of sh!t to do, an acoustic song or three, and the ever-wonderful wanna-be rap hit, "The Booty Don't Stop" live so that it'll get stuck in your head for the next three days. It's free, so go.

I was overwhelmed by food and cuteness yesterday when I went to a cupcake party hosted by one of the cutest people on the planet, my friend Becca. She's not only cute, but she makes a mean cupcake, and she's starting up a cupcake business. The party was her debut, and it was fun. I'm not just saying that because her roomate reads this blog, either.

On the way home I was ruminating on the bike. What would happen if the bike went into a tankslapper? What if the front wheel suddenly fell off? What if the engine seized while I was going 85mph down the 2 Freeway? How far would my body be flung through the air? How many feet would my body slide on the asphalt, grinding leather, skin, muscle, and bone down to gooey dust? Mmmmmm, yummy.

Anyway, tonight I get to eat kosher persian chinese food. Can't wait!

No Love!

Today's all about no love.

First, there's confirmation that the Derby Dolls will be playing an exhibition bout next Saturday at 2:30pm at West Coast Choppers' No Love Ride. I'm captaining one of the all-star teams, and I think the league owner is planning on making my life a living hell by making my team wear pink. Did I mention how much I reallyreallyREALLY freakin' hate pink?! It's worse than fluorescent chartreuse to me. Seriously.

This afternoon the husbitch and I went to see Disney's latest offering, Chicken Little...in 3D!!!!(Add booming echo effect here) There's been an insane amount of incredibly snarky talk on an animation board that I frequent(with more and more disgust lately, however)about how horrible this film is. In the end, it's not as bad as the pixie dust-snorting fanboys would wish it to be. It ain't perfect; the beginning and end of the film were very self-referential in a Shrek type of way to the point of eye-rolling annoyance on my part. However, the Warner Bros-esque animation was GREAT, the character designs were funny, and there were some background jokes that just cracked me up. The director of the film, Mark Dindal, is one of my contemporary faves...he also directed Disney's Emperor's New Groove and Turner's Cats Don't Dance.

Hopefully tonight we'll be going to Skylight Books in Los Feliz for a performance of objects from Found magazine. That should be fun!

What's up with you?!

I had a mildly amusing conversation with an old friend the night before last. He seemed to think that I'm more cranky than usual based on the voicemail message that I have on my cel phone, which basically says leave a message or die. It's not that I'm more cranky than usual, or that I'm hating life more than before...I just hate it when people call, listen to the voice message, but don't bother to leave a goddam message so that I can get back to them with whatever information that they wanted. It's about efficiency, really.

Anyway, this friend and I chatted for awhile and he said a couple of other things that made it sound like he thinks I'm angry as hell in general. For all the yelling, cursing, object-throwing, and tantrum-pulling that I can be capable of, I'm actually fairly low-key until I get riled up. Alright, sometimes it doesn't take too much to get me riled, but it's not like I'm an absolute lunatic just waiting to go ape on somebody. Usually.

And in case you were wondering...yes, that is indeed a doodle of Don Knotts with a buttplug. You're welcome.

What's that Smell?

Today I finished up a shirt design for a friend and did a little tidying in the back room where we have our pool table and some of my art crap. For the past couple of weeks there's been a distinct rotten smell coming from said back room, but nothing obvious has been found as to why it's so stinky back there. No mouse corpses, rotting pieces of garbage, or Jimmy Hoffa.

Anyone else ever have that happen? It's annoying. The closest thing I came across that could produce the stench we've been dealing with was an old cup of water that I used to clean my paintbrushes with. Hopefully the smell will clear out before the first weekend in December, as I'm hoping to have some kind of birthday party then.

Mainstream Halloween

Last night my sister came over and helped hand out candy to the trick-or-treating hoardes that invade our neighborhood every year. We have one of those neighborhoods that gets kids SUV'd in from crappier parts of town, so the streets are packed with groups of marauding kids in varying stages of costume. Here's what I noticed about this year's trends:

The mask from "Scream" is OVER-FREAKIN'-DONE. STOP IT. IT'S LAZY AND LAME.

S.W.A.T. teams were big this year.

Spiderman for the boys was also very popular. Darth Vader, stormtroopers, and the occasional Jedi knight also made it to the front door. We had kids playing with some nice-looking light sabers out in the middle of the street, too. Mucho less cheesy-looking than the sabers that were out when I was a kid.

By far the most popular girl costume were Disney princesses. I just wanted to hurl. Second runner-up was any sort of fairy. Gads. I noticed the uber-girly trend in adult women's costumes as well when I was on the hunt for the basis of the Maude Lebowski/Gutterball outfit I sported this year. Wtf?!?!?!?! I wasn't looking for bull-dyke accessories, but come on, there's gotta be more interesting stuff for women to dress up as besides goddam princesses and fairies.

The best costume was a little boy dressed up as a pizza guy, sporting a drawn-on Italian moustache, chef's hat, apron, and clean pizza box to put candy in. Freakin' original as all get-out, I tell ya. He got a lot of candy out of us. We had a couple of 1920's gangsters complete with tommy guns that were damn cool, too. One of them even had a James Cagney accent. Props to those kids' parents for pushing the envelope so that their kids stood out in a good way in the crowd.

The weirdest costume was a teenage boy dressed in a short pullover sweater, pantyhose and bikini briefs. I have no idea what his "costume" was supposed to be, but he was very nice, and I'm thinking he'll be hanging out in West Hollywood this time next year in the exact same outfit. He and the husbitch ended up trading candy.

We had fewer kids than in past years, but I think that was partly due to the fact that we have a large shrubbery that partially blocks our front door visually, so kids wouldn't go up the driveway to see what's going on. We had set up some of our usual house decor so that it was visible to the kids brave enough to check us out when they got to our front door, and most of them thought it was cool and wanted to come inside. In fact, we had a couple of kids just stride on in as if they owned the place. I laaaaaughed.

Luckily we don't have too much candy left over, so my gourging on it won't last too long and I can get back to a normal weight soon.