Sunday, July 12, 2009

GDG Calendar Girl Process Thread

As promised, I'm going to do a process thread on the Miss June I did for the GirlsDrawinGirls calendar that's gonna be for sale at this year's Comic Con. I've never done a process thread before, and heaven-fucking-forbid I do any research on what other people write up, so bear with me. If you have any questions on how or why I do things the way I do, please ask. I'll make up some artsy-fartsy bullshit answer. I promise.


So when first told about the calendar, I had no idea what I was going to do for it. Of course. After choosing my month(I basically chose one of the few months that didn't have a major holiday in it to theme around), I sat and pondered. A garden babe? Alice Cooper's School's Out? Something beach-themed?

Ahhh, a girl in a bikini. Summery and fun and hey! I might actually be able to draw that! So...now a pose. Damn! More pondering. Work gets in the way. Derby distracts me. Then I realize that I had a rad drawing that I could use...or re-use, as it was originally a birthday card:






















Originally she was a redhead, as you can probably tell by the freckles. Initially I was going to repeat the ginger motif, but decided against it since I did Puss n' Boots as a redhead last year. Since I didn't want to be BORRRRRRRRINNNNNNG, I decided that it would be more fun to give her a deep '70's mega-tan, damn the skin cancer.


So I scan the drawing into the computer and import it into Illustrator.

First thing I do in Illustrator is use the Brush tool to do a quick and dirty outline of the line art:























As you can see, neatness doesn't necessarily count. I'm just throwing a line down, as I'm going to go back in and finesse the hell out of it later. I can't draw in Illustrator to save my ass. I always follow something that I've scanned in.

  • Sidebar: I've never taken a class in Illustrator. And it shows. The only instruction I've ever gotten was from my friend Troy, who gave me the most useful way of approaching Illustrator. He told me it was less like drawing and more like learning how to build things using Colorforms. That mental approach has made dealing with Illustrator ten thousand times easier, even though I use maybe ten percent of its capabilities.

ANYWAY, so I have my basic line art. Now I go back in and turn all of the lines into objects. That way I can go back in and put the thick and thin on all the linework. I know I could make a brush to do that to a certain extent, but usually when I'm doing crap like this I'm under the gun too much to play with brushes and widths and pressures, etc. It's easier for me to get the approximate thickness I want in the line and then go back in.

Then I add more layers and start in on the color. I do separate layers for the hair, skin, shadows, highlights, eye color, lip outline, etc. I also throw in a quickie background layer just to add any color so that the white doesn't bore me to tears.





















See how I've gone in on most of her outline and started making the linework much more pretty. Her feet and face are still in a rough, ugly stage.


For skin, hair, shadows, highlights, etc. I use the pen tool and directly make objects for them from the get-go. I can control how many points each objects has better doing it this way. The more points an object has, the larger the file. I can cut the crap and keep it reasonable to begin with.


She's awfully white for a tan girl, isn't she? Obviously, my color sense is about as acute as Ray Charles'. But her hair is fun. I think it was throwing down the basic shape for that when I decided to go outside the lines for the hair and skin. I originally was going to go back in with Photoshop and throw in a few fun filters to make it look more like it was done with pastels, but didn't.


Just for chuckles, here's the same work as above, just minus the linework layer:





















Since I wanted tan lines on her, I decided to give some indication that she had a bathing suit on at some point. I also switched the background color to green, as the yellow was bugging my eyeballs.





















Skin shadows, highlights, and bathing suit top added. Everything was built with the pen tool except for the hair highlights, which was done with the brush tool then converted to objects then finessed further.


Closer look on the hair:















By this time I was getting really frustrated with the color. I liked the original drawing, and felt I wasn't doing it justice when it was put in color. I even blogged about it. Now you can see why I was so pissy:




















WTF? You're probably asking yourself. Why is her face a different color from the rest of her body?! Just trying to come up with a reasonable color palette. Obviously, I wasn't getting it.


Closer inspection of the damage:


















GOOD LOURD.

Then I dug out some of my color theory books and got my head out of my ass. I found a vintage Mickey Rooney film ad that was almost exactly what I was looking for, so I managed to borrow heavily from that to get what I wanted. Btw, I was using too much red in almost everything. Once I took it out and added more yellow, things went mucho betterer.

Thank jeebus!

So the color got tweaked for the better, I added a gradient to the background, and I added the bikini bottom and polka dots to the bathing suit.





















A reasonable person would've built a pattern in Illustrator, added it on a layer, trimmed it, then to tweak it for the cloth effect would've used the "warp with mesh" option.

Not this dumbass.

I went in and added all those damned polka dots myself. Yeah, I'm that stupid.













THIS IS WHY I NEED TO TAKE A DAMNED CLASS IN ILLUSTRATOR.


Finished product:





















The final size of the piece is 11"x17", so I didn't think that importing it into Photoshop to do fun stuff like blending, blurring, etc. would've worked because generally Photoshop doesn't like going beyond legal-sized stuff. Kind of a pisser, but I played with the opaque-ness of some of the layers, especially the skin shadow one, so that it doesn't look too hard and "clean".

And that's my first process thread. Make sense? No? Don't worry, I'm still confused. Just go buy a damned calendar and admire it, will ya?!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

More Bullet Points

  • Fourth of July was fun. Hung out with Myna Threat and Bong Jovi at his place known as Rancho Relaxo. Had bacon-wrapped hot links topped with queso followed by Jack Daniels shots. Then a lovely bicycle ride to Venice where we crashed a lesbian party on a hotel rooftop on the Boardwalk. Saw allllll the fireworks in LA. It rocked.


  • Beavis was uncharacteristically seen wandering around over the weekend, but when darkness fell, so did his activity level. Thank goodness.


  • Had to work the rest of the weekend. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.


  • As a result of overeating this weekend, my Food Baby is becoming a permanent part of my physique. No bueno. Damn Comic Con and its Booth Babe responsibilities.


  • Btw, you going to Comic Con? The GirlsDrawinGirls booth will be in the same place it was last year. Next to the ACME booth. Just look for the tall Maude Lebowski or post-OD Mrs. Mia Wallace booth babes.


  • My cat is very jealous of the cat hanging out in our backyard. Every time I even say hi to Kitty, Lou C comes strutting up, puts his nose against the door screen, and glares at Kitty lounging on the cement. A few times I've opened the screen and held one of the two cats while the other performs a cat scan on him. Get it? Cat scan? Shutup. Predictions that Kitty will move in have been more forthcoming.

  • Even though the Derby Dolls is supposedly on hiatus, I'm getting ready for Rollercon in Vegas at the end of the month. So far I'm on 3 challenge teams and am teaching 2 classes. WOW, I'm getting some skating in this year!

  • I also put a tentative date on my active-team-skating retirement.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Bullet Points

  • Last Saturday the LA Derby Dolls team the Aftershockers won. Big. 165-63. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

  • I'm in Freelance Hell for the holiday week. Kill me.

  • Tuesday morning I was on my way to the beach on my skates. I passed a HUGE fuzzy German Shepherd who was dragging his human on a skateboard. The dog, who I found out was named Gus, decided that he wanted to outrun me. He caught up, and ran juuuuuuuust ahead of me. I tried to pet him, but he was too busy concentrating on staying juuuuuuuuust ahead of me for me to be successful.

  • I've been trying to buy all my produce at local farmer's markets. And am mostly winning. Right now peaches are in season. I have never been a big fan of peaches. I remember when I was a kid my mom would make me eat canned peaches in that horrible heavy sugar syrup. Why the hell they ever packed them in that syrup, I don't know, because they sure as hell don't need it. I went a-samplin' at the farmers market and discovered that I do indeed like them after all. Yummmm.


  • For the first time I was invited to hang out with the Derby Dolls refs, The Enforcers, at one of their dinners. They like to eat dinner a lot together. I think it's because they're very entertaining. In this case, it certainly wasn't because the place where we ate had the best service in the world. In fact, it had the worst service and I was so annoyed I didn't even drink. THAT'S SERIOUS, Y'ALL. Anyway, I got cheered for being BORRRRRRRINGG!!!!!!! due to my being with the Dear Husband for 20 fucking years. People who were late showing up got cheered for...being late. A couple of douchey Hollywood twerps tried to sit in our general camp and got pushed away. And we all cheered ourselves after that. I think the Enforcers are one of the more fun groups within the Derby Dolls organization, if not the most vocal.

  • On my way to the Enforcers dinner I walked by Kathy Griffin as she was waiting for a restaurant valet to fetch her car in front of a Hollywood eatery. It took everything I had to not yell, "KATHY GRIFFIN IS FUCKING AWESOME!!!!" But I do regret not saying something.

  • I have no idea what's going on for the 4th of July weekend. Well, other than the whole being in Freelance Hell thing. Beavis has been lurking around lately, so I don't know how far from home I'll want to stray. Ugh.


  • I should probably stay close to home because I have a 6 lb. food baby to lose by Comic Con. Booth babe, here I come.

  • The one good thing that's come out of Michael Jackson's death is that people have rediscovered his album Off The Wall. It's better than Thriller. Yes, I have an opinion about such things.


Alright, back to work.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Mind=really blown

Another way for me to feel old...

Today is the 20th anniversary of me meeting the Dear Husband.

At a science fiction convention.

In Anaheim.

GOOD LOURD.


Yeah, I know.

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Derby Evolution will be televised...sort of.

Hi Mom and Dad!

Can't come down to LA to see me skate? Now you can watch me live on the internets for free!

That's right, the LA Derby Dolls is going to webcast our games tomorrow night. I'M KINDA STOKED ABOUT IT.

Tune in and watch me make an even bigger ass of myself than normal.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hot Donna

Here's the bout promo for the game I'll be skating in this weekend:





I was shocked to hear my voice. I know I make Bea Arthur sound like Betty Boop sometimes, but then I realized I also sound a little like "Donna" from "That 70's Show".







I'm dying.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Ugh

Tomorrow morning I get to catch a 6:30 AM flight for Austin, TX to sit on the sidelines as an alternate player for LA at the Battle on the Bank II tournament.
















Remember when I said that being an alternate sucks? Yeah. Me too. I'm obviously a slow learner. However, I'm interested to see some of the other teams playing, such as Arizona Derby Dames, and Red Dirt Rebellion.

What I'm SO NOT interested in is the riDONKulously hot weather. Almost 100 degrees with around 44% humidity. THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIVE IN TEXAS. So I'm packing a lot of tank tops and just one pair of pants. And maybe a bathing suit. That should be silly.

Welp, speaking of packing, I gotta get back to it and see if I can squeeze in that pair of pants into the rest of my already-full carry-on luggage.

*sigh*

Wish LA luck!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Happily Baffled

Yesterday I received my magnets.

Here they are...no camera flash:



















Camera flash:


















I was surprised to discover that the magnet people went ahead and printed more of the Puss n' Boots design even though they emailed me saying that the image was a violation of their "no hot nekkid chicks" rule. Apparently they can't deny the sellability of Puss n' Boots. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

So if you find yourself at Comic Con, go to the GirlsDrawinGirls booth and buy this stuff!

Buttons coming soon...

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Little Baby Boo, Take Two

Thank goodness Tilda Whirl is around to keep me from wandering off too far into Stoopidland. I found the little flower icon on the camera thanks to her and got some better shots of the little bird I found yesterday.

Obviously, I'm not a golfer.


I crack myself up.

Anyway, here we go:






















































Note that one of the sclerotic rings is still in the eye socket:


















Back view:

















Closer view of the back of the skull:

















Detail of the right wing and upper leg:

















Fascinating, isn't it?

Friday, June 12, 2009

out of sorts

The past couple of days I've wreaked havoc on my sleeping schedule.

Yesterday I laid down for a 20 minute nap. 2.5 hours later, I woke up. AUGH. That sucked. I tried to go to bed at a "normal" hour for me, but of course couldn't get to sleep.

This morning I woke up about an hour and a half before my alarm went off. WTF?!?!?!

I drank an AMP energy drink, but it didn't do much good. Ah well.

As I was headed out to the back to get my bicycle to run errands this morning, I spotted a ball of feathers-and-fluff on the driveway. I shuffled over and took a swipe at it with my foot, expecting it to burst apart and flutter away.

It didn't. It just rolled a few times and came to a stop.

I doubled my efforts.

swipe

Nothing.

I leaned down and realized that I was swiping at a dead bird.

What's weird about this was that I haven't seen its little body there before, and I've been back-and-forth between the back and front of the house via the driveway every day because I use my bicycle. The bird has been dead long enough to dry out and have its eyes either rot or get eaten. Its tongue is still intact, though.

















I picked it up. Weighed nothing. Its feathers are still holding its tiny skeleton mostly together, though I notice its feet are missing. I can see its dried innards to a degree.


I tried to take photos of the bird, as I find it really fascinating to examine. Unfortunately I suck at closeup photos. All of them came out blurry, so I tried using the "sharpen" filter in Photoshop to make them more clear.


















This is an attempt to photograph its back and wing:

















I didn't know what to do with the little body, so now it's placed on a shelf in our kitchen window. I'm a little unnerved by its presence there, though. I go in for a snack and think, "Holy crap there's a dead bird in our window!" and then promptly leave.

I'm out of sorts, but I don't know if it's because I'm running on irregular sleep or the bird.

I may bury it, but at the same time I want to see more of its skeleton.

*sigh*

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Well, looky...

I finished the Aftershockers logo:



















I'm rather happy with how it turned out.

Sheesh

I'm not working on work-work this week, but I'm still stoopidly busy.

I finished my GirlsDrawinGirls calendar girl. She's freakin' HAWT. I hope you come to Comic Con and buy a calendar and accompanying magnet that I'm gonna sell.

I tried to reorder magnets of last year's Puss n' Boots design, but according to the company who I ordered from previously, she's too naughty to get more merch made. Funny how they allowed her last year, but not this year. So, if you were one of the ten people who got one of those magnets, IT'S EXTRA-SPECIAL WONDERFUL AND RARE NOW SO DON'T LOSE IT!!!!!!!

Ugh.

Now I'm working on the Aftershockers logo. Here's some font fun I've been having with it:























The final choice has been made, and now I'm cleaning everything up. WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS THAT IS.

I go to Austin, TX in a week and a half. Woohoo! Then the following week the Aftershockers make their banked track debut against a mixed team from ACDG and a few other skaters from a few other leagues. That's a fun game that I'm looking forward to. Then...blessed hiatus!

CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Yet Moar Random Pix

As I frantically try to finish up on the latest round of freelance and get my GirlsDrawinGirls piece done by the end of this week, here's some more photos to amuse you, dear readers:

































































































By overwhelming popular demand(OK, one person asked), I'm going to put together a process post on Miss June sometime next week. If the post bores you, I'll give you advance permission to give Hurricane Ken a buttload o' grief about it, as he's the "overwhelming popular demand".

Monday, May 25, 2009

UGHSALGHSFKLSGHFJIGHSK aka; FAIL

Today is another post about FAIL.

I'm failing this weekend.

I'm still sick. This whateveritis that's been going around is kicking my ass. In a subtle manner. My ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton and I have a cough that gives me a constant headache. NOT FUN.

Fight Crew skated flat track in Bakersfield Saturday night. We were winning, then we lost. Not because we screwed up. Let's just say that I appreciate my league's refs a lot. I just hope that the rest of my team now appreciates them too. And yes, I skated while sick. And no, I didn't get kicked out of the game for penalties. Broadzilla did, though. Ha ha!

The afterparty failed, too. I was hanging out with the Tuscon Roller Derby's Iron Curtain (of course I LOVE this team...Soviet themes unite!!) in a dive bar across the street from the game venue when some little wannabee gangbanger did a drive-by boob grab on one of the Tuscon girls. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! She turned to me and said incredulously, Did that guy just grab my boob??! I stared at him and said, Yep. She just looked shocked. The twerp who did it was about to do it again to another group when I turned to his targets and said, THAT GUY IS BEING A DOUCHEBAG!!! HE JUST GRABBED SOMEONE'S BOOB! Then I turned to the Dear Husband and said, LET'S GO. NOW. We left abruptly. So did the Tuscon girls, leaving the rest of Fight Crew in our wake, wondering what the hell I was ranting about, since they didn't see the boob-grabbing incident happen.

We found out the next morning that after we left, one of my teammates had her purse stolen at the bar. The idiot who did it was lurking around, so he got confronted by the husband of one of my other teammates. Then the cops got called. To the credit of the local constabulary, they had a car there in about 2 minutes, and found my teammate's cash on the suspect, and found her credit cards and purse in a trash can. The only thing she actually lost was her phone, which is minor in comparison to the credit cards, etc.

A sideline of suck about this was that another league asked our league to play them on the same night as our game. That split attention and energy between the two games, and basically Fight Crew lost on that too. When the other teams have skated their flat track games, they got a LOT of support from the league in the form of fans at the game, mucho promotion for their game, encouraging emails, etc. Fight Crew? Not so much. Guess who's gonna ask that this kind of scheduling never happens again?!


In other fail...I have a buttload of work to do, and haven't been able to do much of it because of the aforementioned ick. This week is going to be ugly work-wise to catch up.


There's a buttload of housework to do. Guess who hasn't done it because of the buttload of work that's piling up? Yeah, FAIL.

Play me off, keyboard cat:




Here's a couple of pix from the Big One. Did I mention that LADD took third place out of eight leagues that played? Which is pretty good considering that we were seeded seventh and had no idea what the hell we were doing.

Me doing something fun to one of the Sacred City girls:

















Me and Boss Hogg, who is one of derby's favorite photographers. He has EXCELLENT tastes in wardrobe:















I look crazed, as usual.



This morning has been a win/fail combo plate.

I've complained here and elsewhere about the hypershit dog next door who usually starts barking around 6:30 in the fucking a.m. which is an hour and a half before I usually wake up. Which means I have to nap in the afternoon or else I'll be a complete pile of FAIL for the rest of the day.

Now, it's not that I hate dogs. I don't. But they are in the same category as children. They need a lot of love and attention, and are usually the most charming to their owners, not everyone else. Hence, I don't have a dog or a child. I'm not only thinking of myself, I'm thinking of all of YOU, my dears. Thank me for it.

Anyway, the hypershit dog next door did his thing this morning. Of course, with me being sick, this just adds to the pile of FAIL I'm in the midst of experiencing. In the past, I've gone out to the back yard and yelled at the damn dog until the neighbors gather the little beast and take him inside. There's been a couple of occasions when he started in the middle of the night where I put on my bathrobe and stomped next door to pound on their front door. The dogs inside would start barking, but the neighbor wouldn't answer the door. Go figure.

Today I put on the bathrobe over my skeleton jammies(no, I'm not kidding)and stomped over in bare feet to the neighbors and pounded on the door. The neighbor lady actually came to the door and started apologizing profusely, saying that she brings the dog in as soon as he starts barking. I had to explain to her that a) waiting until he starts barking is already too late and b)it's consistently happening enough where it's really disturbing and having it happen so early is JUST NOT COOL.

I also told her that if it keeps happening, she's going to fix me some breakfast.

I think that'll stop the damn dog from waking me up in the future.

I hope.

Alright, back to work. Ugh.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

In Short...

  • I'm getting sick.

  • The neighbor's hypershithead dog woke me up this morning 2 HOURS before the alarm went off. Couldn't get back to sleep. Cranky as hell as a result. If that fucking dog didn't bark all goddam day, I'd be able to take a nap and catch up this afternoon.

  • Skated all weekend in the Big One tournament. I now have a painful-yet-impressive hip bruise. LA took third place. San Diego took first. That's gonna make a lot of flat track leagues sit up and take notice. Read my assholio blogcasting on Derby News Network.

  • Just started the Xmas episode of Freelance Hell. First the Halloween episode, now the Xmas episode. What's next? An Extra-Special Purim episode? And both of these holiday episodes have me drawing party sequences. If they ever met me, they'd slap their foreheads in disgust at the disparity.

  • Derby drama on the horizon. It could make the future derby terrain even more...interesting. Luckily I'm not the cause of it, so I'm just sitting back and giving advice when needed.

  • Did I mention that I needed a nap?

Friday, May 15, 2009

AUGHGHGHGHGHHGH

Derby drama upset my work flow this week, but I did manage to pull this out of my ass for the GirlsDrawinGirls calendar project. It's still in progress:






















That round thing is the sun. That square thing is where the actual calendar part goes.

I'm stoked about the color, since I was able to fix it after looking through a couple of color theory books. At-home reference=results!

I gotta tweak the hell out of her before the end of the month. All while working on Xmas-themed freelance. Oh joy!!


Have you been feeling neglected when it comes to Redneck Theater updates? Satisfy yourself.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The "Creative" Process

I'm enjoying the week off from freelance.

However, I have to attack the growing list of non-work artwork that needs to be done by the end of the month. The post-it note on the corner of my computer monitor is mocking me with its list staying stagnant...nothing is getting crossed off and labeled as "done".

The outstanding one is the calendar girl I'm doing for GirlsDrawinGirls. I started on a high note because I found a previous doodle that I thought would look cute and appropriate for the specifications for doing a girl for the month of June. I started building her in Illustrator, and all was good.

Then I started adding color, and that's when I started losing my way.

Color has always been difficult for me to handle. I took enough art classes to know basic color theory, but I'm such a simpleton about it. And obvious. I use bright primary colors a lot. Subtlety is not my forte. I know, surprising. So as I started coloring my June girl, she became more and more boring and ordinary. So far she's a mid-brunette against a mid-blue background. BORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING!!!!! as the derby girls would scream. I need something more eye-catching, or more complimentary, or more unique or more...more.

Now I'm going through my color theory books to see if something piques my interest that will save my June girl. sigh. It doesn't help that I'm eating schnacks like there's no tomorrow...damn you, Trader Joe's and your tasty treats!!!!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Subtle as a Heart Attack

I'm a complete idiot.

Yeah, yeah, not exactly a newsflash, but here's the latest manifestation of said idiocy...

I ASSumed that the only skating-related folk that read this-here blog are from my league.

WRONG!

How did I find out otherwise? Well...

I took the Fight Crew thank you card I made for Coach Pauly to practice last night to have everyone sign. Captain Janis Choplin said that she's email me Pauly's address so that I could mail the card. Well, she didn't, and I happened to come across Pauly on Facebook this morning(I have a nasty addiction to Facebook...it's stoopid as hell but I'm on there ALL THE TIME...but I digress)and asked him for his mailing address. He then says, "So what's this about some card you made for me?"

D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turns out that he has his name wired in to Google so that he knows when people mention him online. I thought I was "safe" since I didn't put in any keywords in my posts. Durrr durrrrr durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

So I told him to act surprised when he gets the damn card in the mail.


My lack of sneakiness regarding the card made me realize that I've been hanging out with the Dear Husband and his family too much. I call it the Israeli Secret Service. It's based on a comedy routine some standup comedian guy did years ago about how the idea that the Israeli Secret Service could keep anything a secret was ludicrous.

Imagine your average New York Jewish mom or dad at the deli yelling at the counterguy: Is the fish fresh? THE FISH...IS IT FRESH?!?!?!?!

Apply that to a secret operative situation: Is the gun loaded? THE GUN...IS IT LOADED?!?!?!?!?

I've seen this type of thing happen with the DH and his family. The classic situation is when we're going somewhere of Important Social Networking Significance and he'll say to me beforehand, "Let me know if I say something stupid." During the course of the ISNS he'll say something stupid and I'll do the Typical Wife Nudge or Kick Under the Table. What does he do in response? "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Israeli Secret Service.

For the DH's mom's birthday we went to the Olive Garden. DH's sister was talking about...something. I forget what, as I was trying to not pay attention. My sister started texting me in the middle of the droning. Now, my sister is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME at the table. DH's sister is sitting across from us. We continue to text back and forth for a good 20 minutes before DH's sister figures out that something's up. "ARE YOU TEXTING ABOUT ME?!?!" she finally asks.

Of course not! we reply.

Yes, we lied.

Yep, Israeli Secret Service.

OK, let's look at some drawings, shall we?

I like this drawing. I'm afraid to clean it up, because I know I'll overwork it until it sucks so much ass, all I'll see is a sphincter:






















A drawing that was based on one of my jammer photos. I was trying for an upshot angle on her. I'm not getting the feets very well:























A drawing based off looking at some flat track skaters. She's pretty badass, and I hope something comes of her. I tried doing a version where she's cleaned up and looks kinda comic book-y in style. It's...ok. Not fabulous. Not as good as this:
























I always like my ruffruffruff drawings way better than my cleanup drawings. Argh. But I'm going to try to do something with this stuff. 'Cos I gotta do something in my life besides worry about where the next job is coming from!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Such a Card!

I finally got around to scanning in the final card I made for Fight Crew to send to Coach Pauly:























Not too crapacious, I guess!

Used a brush pen for the outline...it's a lot of fun! I need to play with brush pens in general more often...for some of the action-type stuff it'd work really well.

I gotta get off my ass and get ready for Comic Con in July. I need to make merch to sell. Small stuff, like magnets and the like. Cheap to make, easy to sell. Just like me! Ha ha, I'm such a card!


Here's a promo for the Ri-Ettes game this weekend:





Even though I'm listed as being on the roster, I'm not skating this particular game. Kinda bummed, but it's gonna be OK, as I'll be going to Austin for their Battle on the Bank tournament in June. As an alternate. Guh!

Alright, back to getting stuff done...

Monday, May 04, 2009

Blackmail

Yesterday I topped off a VERY busy week/weekend by announcing up in Bakersfield. It was a double-header and a long day of being witty yet informative for the audience. Luckily I had Suzy Snakeyes helping me out, which is great since she's had experience as a radio DJ.

Anyway, at halftime for the first game, the league invited kids out to the center of the rink and had a "dance off". Suzy and I were to judge. Of course neither of us knew about all this beforehand or else we would've been hiding in the bathroom or something while this was happening.

So I was standing like a redwood tree in a forest of writhing ground cover as the kids danced. One girl came up to me, holding her arms up. "You want me to pick you up?!" I ask incredulously. She nodded. I picked her up and told her that when she wanted to be let down to just let me know. Then I turned to the game photographers and yelled, YOU'D BETTER GET A PICTURE OF THIS COS IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN EVER AGAIN!!!!!

The result:

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Another Crapacious Scan

This week I'm rushing to make the end-of-the-week deadline for work. But while I was waiting for notes on said work, I pumped out a quick thank you card for Coach Pauly, who lives in Arizona and will come coach your derby league for the low low price of whatever travel costs are.

He came out this past weekend to give Fight Crew a boost. And what a boost it was! I can't wait to see how his input helps us out! I was at the track alllllll weekend. Good times!

This is the rough drawing I did:





















Cute, eh?


I'm also stoked that the Sirens want me to be team manager for the rest of the season(except for the game Sirens and Fight Crew play against each other)! That should be fun!

And lastly, enjoy a minor update on the Redneck Theater front.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

ZOMG!!! DRAWINGS!!!!!!

OK, so it's been a million years since I actually posted anything art-related on this alleged art blog, so here ya go...some ugly drawings.

Of course I can't keep the derbyz out of my posts, now can I? Here we have an interpretation of badass blocker Killo Kitty from the Sirens:



















I definitely need to get more cuteness in her face.


And here's a badly done scan of a Krissy Krashesque girl. It's supposed to be Krissy, but...uh...yeah. Not so much:

















Having her right skate in her crotch just can't be comfortable.

Actually, I like this drawing despite its major retardation. The pose is fairly dynamic, though simplistic in a "obviously I don't look at a bunch of comic books to get these action poses more interesting" type of way. I like her head proportions a lot, too, even though it's as big as her butt. Which doesn't happen in real life. Ha!

And sorry for the crapacious scan. I usually doodle on the backs of old storyboard paper. Which shows through when I have the lid down on the copier/scanner. So I tried scanning with the lid up, and now the image is dark and gloomy. Much like my soul.

Alright, back to work.

Monday, April 20, 2009

From Last Saturday's Game























Big hat, curly hair, loud voice, cool shirt, hot pants and shiny legs:
















Sirens squeaked by in the last jam, winning 77-71 against the newbie team, the Varsity Brawlers. That woke everyone in the league up! Fight Crew faces VB in August. We gots work to do!

As an extra-special bonus to my being able to be team manager on Saturday, I got to meet a punk legend: John Doe from X. Out of all the celebrities we've had at our games, this one made me the most happy. I listened to X a lot when I was younger, and still do when I'm in a particularly LA mood, mostly when driving around near downtown. So getting to talk to him was a Big Deal for me.

Anyway, I encountered him about 15 minutes before the game started, and I was all decked out in the Sirens outfit complete with cop sunglasses, Commie Captain hat, and tall boots. So I ended up towering above him. We shook hands, he laughed at my name, and I told him how much I loved his music and how excited I was that he was singing the National Anthem to start off the game. He then told me a story about how he was asked to sing the National Anthem for one of the Austin leagues but the US had just invaded Iraq so he wouldn't do it as a conscientious objector. Interesting! But apparently he's feeling a little better about the US now and did a fine job singing for us Saturday night. He couldn't stick around for the game but swore he'd come back. Oh, and of course he used to watch the LA T-birds play at the Olympic Auditorium Back in the Day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Too Stoopid

Ever since the LA Derby Dolls were featured on an episode of Rock of Love II, I've become obsessed with the franchise. This year I've been avidly watching Rock of Love Bus, or as I also like to call it, SKANKARAMA.

Unlike seasons past, the finale was boring. BORRR-RRRING!!! It got that way as soon as Bret Michaels kicked off one of the drunkest "contestants", Ashley. Here she is in full force:




People who eat basil are LAAME!

and,

Stuhffed...CAAABAGE.

are the two best Ashley quotes of the bunch, but she's just an obnoxious ball-buster throughout her stint on the show. My other fave quote: I didn't know they made bikinis in size Fat Fuck!

Pure genius.

She's going to be on Charm School 3. Guess who has two thumbs and will be watching that train wreck?! THIS GUY!!!

LADD game this Saturday

Our bout promos are bananas:




I get to be the Sirens' team manager again for this game. Which means I gotta lose enough weight to fit into the uniform shirt again...which I was barely able to do last time. Ah well, people will be distracted by my captain's hat anyway! Ha!


I love the city council district the LA Derby Dolls are in. They actually like us. They like us so much, they put up a blog entry about us for last week's Treasures of Los Angeles award ceremony.

Getting this award is a Big Deal for us. It gives us credibility in the city's eyes, and that's a Very Good Thing for when we have to search for our next digs...which we'll have to do this year at some point. Bleh.

At the awards ceremony we got to wear skates at the Bonaventure Hotel, eat free food and drink free wine in the VIP area, hang out with our city councilman, Eric Garcetti, meet and greet local newscaster Jim Hill, talk with and take photos with LA Police Chief Bratton, and hit up boxer Oscar de la Hoya for some fancy footwork lessons. As an added bonus, we got to grab all the reusable insulated shopping bags that were given as freebies as we could carry, along with an orchid centerpiece or three. A good day, to be sure!

Here's a photo(taken by famous LA photographer Gary Leonard) taken of all of us during the ceremony when Demolicious accepted the award. Top row: LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Demolicious, City Council President Eric Garcetti. Middle row: Krissy Krash, Myna Threat, Roxy Cotton, Kaboom, Juana Beat'n, some jerkface. Bottom row: Brandi Iron, Sniperella, Mila Minute, PITA.

















Next week I start another round of Freelance Fun, so maybe there will be less derby blathering here.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Lazy...

I'm either very uninspired or very lazy to write much here.

Or I'm lazily uninspired.

Uninspiredly lazy?

Whatever.

All I know is that if I'm not working, I'm skating. When I'm not skating, I'm working. Sounds kinda boring to me.

So instead, enjoy some random photos:























































Sunday, April 05, 2009

Quick Note...

This morning I'm riding my bicycle to the track to help out with Subpool tryouts.

Oh joy!

Lately I've been having problems with the little toe on my right foot. It's amazing how one tiny little digit can cause a whole LOTTA pain, but there it is. It started at Blood & Thunder camp, where I did a lot of skating, and a lot of switching of surfaces between the banked track and the flat track. For whatever reason, the inside of my skate boot decided to rub up and annoy my little toe, and it's been very painful ever since. SUUUUUUUCKS to be me.

Two weeks ago we flew up to the Bay Area to celebrate my dad's 70th birthday with a really nice brunch in Walnut Creek. It was great hanging out with the parental units and stuffing ourselves stoopid. We flew up to SFO on Virgin America airlines. They're the Hipster Airline. Nice mood lighting, amusing safety video, the ability to chat with other passengers on computers mounted to the back of every seat and the gayest flight attendants EVAR. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

GirlsDrawinGirls has a booth at Comicon again this year. We're not doing a book, but we're putting together a calendar. I'm doing the month of June, and I'm proud to say that I've actually started working on it in Illustrator already. It should be muy cute.

Here's some photos from last Saturday's game in our spiffy new uniforms. Aren't we cute?






















































Well, some are cuter than others. I'm in the latter category.